This is how you go Dutch.
It’s so you can examine your stool, you might have some blood or a consistency you don’t like, that way you see it
It also helps you gauge the poop’s internal temperature using the back of your scrote, if you are endowed with fairly loose balls.
Long balls!
I’ve never not been able to detect something like that with a water-under toilet
Wake up, coffee, breakfast, shit, see how much of last nights meal was really digested, shower, shave, work
Typical morning, idk what the big fuss is
German toilets are like that too.
You should see the Dutch Oven….
For an extra 5€ I’ll show you a Dutch Trombone
I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?
Ah, touché
Serious answer: The design had easy stool sample collection in mind.
I’ve blasted this all over Reddit back in the day and now I’ll blast it here: HOW OFTEN ARE THE DUTCH COLLECTING THEIR STOOLS THAT THEY NEED THIS KIND OF TOILET IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD? THEY USE IT EVERY DAY AND NOT JUST AT A DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR A HOSPITAL WHERE YOU WOULD THINK THAT STOOL SAMPLES WOULD BE COLLECTED OFTEN.
To this day no one has ever given me a reasonable believable explanation that makes sense. I’d be happy to hear that “all the greedy corporate toilet makers didn’t want to change their design to save money and now we’re all stuck with this dumb toilet blah blah blah” or “we Dutch folk have a special device to sit on that you don’t see in this picture that makes the design of this toilet sensible” or even “we simply love looking at a big stinky pile of s*** every time we take a dump you wouldn’t understand we’re Dutch”
I stayed in hotels and motels in the Netherlands and they all had the stupid toilet and it stanks so bad and they don’t believe in ventilated bathroom so you just have to open a window and smell it and your wife and kids have to smell it too. it’s so dumb.
It looks like it’s designed to soak your balls if you flush mid-poop. I’m not into this.
I understand the Dutch may have different tastes, though.
Edit: if you go about things butters style, you’ll get an unhealthy butthole douching.
We had these here as well and i have no idea. The only thing i ever heard that made sense was it was easier to take stool samples. That makes some sense, but why would every household need them?
How else are you supposed to flush your nuts
Usa drops kids off at pool, the dutch stack shelves.
Apparently this design was popular in Germany a hundred years or so ago. Its key advantage was allowing the user to examine their stools for signs of digestive health problems.
We Germans like to take pride in our workmanship.
*workmanshit
*arbeitungmannscheiß
A fellow Sprecher, I see! Happy cake day!
its so annoying having to use tongs :/
You don’t have a knife?
Not “a” knife. “The” knife.
I know the joke and all, but recently the local theme park has replaced their toilet brushes with toilet rubber shovels. They work surprisingly well. They can both hack’n’slash a log, but also the back side is also ripped so you can use it to brush out the regular shit from the sides, while avoiding the dreaded paper clutter and other issues with a toilet brush being used by thousands of people daily.
It’s like toilet brushes evolving into poop knives. Looks like this: https://pin.it/OKHBRlxjI
Culture shock #2. A public American toilet may require “thousands” of toilet brushings daily.
Tell me you were exaggerating… Right?
Yeah well, I’m not counting. On busy days, the toilets have queue lines all day long. Depending on the length of the visit and the willingness to use the brush, it’s probably in the hundreds, or at least a lot more than anywhere else.
Hmm maybe brushed by staff once every 1-3 hours if visibly dirty?
This guy cleans commodes.
I dont need to examine my stools to know my digestive heath is horrific.
Yep, but nowadays they are losing popularity. I don’t even know if you can still find them.
I thought it would just be for less splashing
It’s definitely for less splashing. I hate the North American bowls that spray your ass when your turd dunks.
You just need to adopt the American diet so that you either spray the toilet or your turd is so large that it enters the water before falling and doesn’t splash.
Explains shit fetish or vice versa?
What if I don’t want to observe my turd on an elevated toilet bowl pedestal every time I take a shit?
You’d be shit out of luck
You seat on it reverse.
The fact that it’s called “reverse” makes it clear that it’s not intended to be used that way and is thus stupid.
You have to do the ‘ol’ push ‘n flush and hope you got the timing down.
Turns out your shit sitting exposed on a dry shelf smells exponentially worse than when it drops into water. Anyone still using these toilets in the 21st century is a psychopath.
Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then found out that the flush wasn’t strong enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.
Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes
Did you use the poop knife?
I came here to reference this, great work.
So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story
Got a bucket of water to flush it. After that I always had the bucket ready before starting the business. Luckily I didn’t stay there very long.
You wrap Your hand in toilet paper and give it a little push. That’s what toilet paper is for.
The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.
My shits at my grandma’s would’ve been more comfy had I known this. I was always worried it wouldn’t flush (which happened on occasion).
Actually? Or are you joking?
Actually. Source: We has this style of toilet at my parents house.
I like to imagine the shitboat floating away in flames like an epic Viking burial.
Try eating more hot sauce
I know the meme is that people use it to look at their poop, but honestly the main advantage is the 0% chance of water splashing up. I will take this design over the “standard” ones any day.
But what about just poop on some toilet paper, make no splash, and the smell is still not so hard, as with the dutch/German toilet
You haven’t thought of the smell!
Have found that putting a little bit of TP in the water before commencing the act helps a lot to avoid Poseidon’s kiss.
I once stopped in urgent need of a toilet at the dirtiest little gas station in the middle of nowhere, where the one guy on duty directed me out back to a foul, stunningly filthy toilet. After doing my business I arose and, turning to face the toilet, flushed. It was an old flush mechanism where the water just kind of fell in from all sides, causing a kind of trapped tsunami to eject a single drop of fresh poop water 7 feet up in the air and down straight into my mouth.
If my many decades of life have taught me anything, it’s to close my mouth when flushing or scrubbing the toilet.
thanks I hate it
What kind of rock hard dookes are you laying?
Probably standard European fibre rich turds.
So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?
It kisses goodbye your asshole. Don’t forget from whence thy sheit falls.
The real problem is your turds are exposed to open air the whole time, so the smell fucking awful the whole time.
It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.
And to savour the undiluted aroma.
“hey Sharon, SHARON GET IN HERE YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! SHARON!”
We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.
My brother and I called it the inspection shelf as a joke. Turns out that’s what it’s actually for.
Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.
It’s a solid way to prevent neptunes kiss.
The downside is getting your balls slapped with a turd.
No kink shame ;)
I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.
This is not a joke
Haven’t you thought of shitting in a backwards sitting position?
I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation
It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?
The Great Mighty Poo’s Knight
I haven’t had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.
Calcium carbonate anti-acids tend to make good logs.
Males need 37g of fiber daily for optimum health. That’s the equivalent of 568g of raspberries or 657g of green peas or 1,154g of broccoli. Might wanna start taking some psyllium husk so you don’t get ass cancer.
If your diet is so lacking in fiber that you need to take pills to make up for it, fix your damn diet.
Don’t take the pills - the serving size on them is very misleading. You’dhave to take a ton of them to have any effect. Gotta go with the powder.
Nothing wrong with supplementation! It’s hard to eat that much fiber (even if your diet is good) due to the relatively low fiber density of most foods. We adapted to our food sources, not so much the other way around - and we don’t spend all day chewing on fibrous, foraged plants anymore. Plus, psyllium husk is a food. It’d be the same as eating a shitload of flax or something but with fewer calories.
So you eat half a kilo of raspberries, and then the rest of your diet is a juice cleanse? Here an example diet: oats for breakfast (6 g), a sandwich loaded with greens for lunch (4 g), chili for dinner (15 g). Throw in an apple for a snack (5 g). It’s really not that hard.
The National Academy of Medicine recommends:
• Women 51 and older: 21 grams of fiber per day
• Men 51 and older: 30 grams of fiber per dayNow your numbers go with 45 g per day, but honestly that example diet would leave me hungry. I’d probably also have a peanut butter and banana sandwich (7 g). Throw in a small amount of berries or raisins into the breakfast oats and we’ve hit your higher target.
Fair enough! I can be a little harder to hit consistently in practice depending on the level of variety in your diet, if you go out occasionally, etc. In my opinion and personal experience, anyway. But that is a solid and reasonable meal plan without a doubt.
The raspberries example was more an example of if one were to “fibermax” as the kids will be saying in 20yrs. Trying to most efficiently achieve the RDA with the most fiber dense foods possible - not intended as an actual, reasonable diet.
37g is still low. A good target to aim for is 100g.
How many weetabix biscuits?
Looks like they are 3.8g per 2 biscuit serving? So like 19.5 biscuits or around 370g.
Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?
Turdonomy AND Turdology, a double threat!
A.k.a. “Logology.”
The Real Deuce of studies.
Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.
You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.
Based. Source: American. Downvoters could never handle Taco Bell
People who downvoted you are weak stomached non Americans
I’m sure those who down voted shame their ancestors by leaving food on their plate.
Just sit facing the wall.
That way you can use the shelf for your chocolate milk and comic book
Yeah but where’s your poop knife?
aaah I get this reference
ah, je mean de poop clogs?
It sure does.
The mashitty?
That’s what the three shells are for.
I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife
All 3 held between the fingers, with a punching action.
That brings up a question; if Wolverine claws at a poop and retracts his claws, does the poop get wiped off by his gloves and skin or does the poop go into his forearm?
These are the important questions that need to be addressed. We cannot let this go unanswered by the creators.
We all are. It’s one of the bonds that keeps civilization alive. Keep searching !
Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!
Wait, so I’m not supposed to throw them at other cars in traffic?
Well, I’d never want to rain on someone’s parade.
Lob away!
8 into a backflip midair wipe for me.
#11 is called an upper decker.
