For those out of the loop, WomensStuff has a women-only rule, where men are respectfully asked to not reply to posts.
This has always been one of the top tier funniest meme images to me.
WomensStuff is trans affirming so the solution is obvious!
On the one hand, boobs, on the other, not being able to pee standing and less rights
Urgh, as a man, “fewer rights”
i mean. technically everyone can pee standing (barring medical concerns). it just might be slipperier than intended.
Fluid dynamics.
As the urine travels down your urethra it is under almost equal pressure from all sides. As the liquid escapes it loses contact with the vessel.
Through a process called adhesion the water in your product will experience a drag effect as the contact with the waste channel is extinguished. This drag is greatest in areas that contain the most perturbation.
The shape of the orifice that produces the stream produces the vast majority of the perturbative influence.
In this case the opening is a slit which produces semi-toroidal flows in the medium at the polar vertices.
Combine these forces (The sudden loss of pressure, the semi-toroidal flows, and adhesion) and the net effect is a torsion force on the stream.
The torsion force impels the fluid to twist and cohesion (water molecules are kind of like tiny magnets and really want to stick together) keeps the stream together.
There you have it. Why your urine spirals instead of just flowing out like a garden hose.
The spongy urethra runs along the length of the penis on its ventral (underneath) surface… This produces a spiral stream of urine and has the effect of cleaning the external urethral meatus. The lack of an equivalent mechanism in the female urethra partly explains why urinary tract infections occur so much more frequently in females.
ohhh til. thanks. good bot.
Beep boop bloop! 🤖
deleted by creator
I don’t see how that’s related to women also being able to piss standing up, but I appreciate the lesson in piss fluid dynamics 👍
How about just a little HRT, as a treat?
:3
You don’t have to get bottom surgery, unless you want to.
Having a penis doesn’t cause dysphoria in all trans women. You can be a woman and still pee standing up! Unless you’re in a public bathroom in a red state.
What I find interesting here is that this all self identification and self reporting.
There’s no mechanism in Lemmy to force a user into such identification, so it is all voluntary.
Kinda hilarious how the most cis dude thing possible is to joke about becoming trans to gain the privileges of a woman.
What?? How’d you get that from this meme? I wasn’t saying that at all!
Wasn’t coming after you, I think I meant to write this under someone else who was. Little distracted, my b
I wouldn’t assume the person who made the joke is cis when their account is at blahaj.zone…
😶🌫️
All good!
I tbh only know several trans women making this kind of joke /shrug
I’m a trans guy and I joke about how I’m only doing it to not get talked over in meetings so this rings plausible.
I wanted the comment to come off as more of a joke but it comes off like I’m problematizing or whatever
This is like the least cis dude thing I can think of
Clearly the solution here is a publicly seen WomenStuff with whitelisted posters, and an ancillary public community called PeanitsGallery where all talk about the WomenStuff.
I’ve just blocked the community entirely, because apparently I’m not a woman based on… idfk.
Yeah, I’m afab agender, and I’ve got it blocked too. Nothing they’ve done to me, just because of past women’s spaces saying I’m not woman enough to be there. Like, I was never really taught how to do my hair or makeup because neglectful mother, but I keep running into women that get angry because I see it as a hobby? I’m just too old for gatekeeping, and have zero desire to prove that I “deserve” to post in a restricted community.
They do explicitly allow agender individuals
Eh, I’ve heard that before elsewhere, and it’s always turned out to mean they only accept agender folks if they’re femme enough. I worry that I would, once again, be too masc for a group that ostensibly supports me.
I already feel like the world would be better off without me, and I’ve already had other groups say I’m the bad kind of agender. Like, I used to say I was a tomboy, but then I got kicked out of the college women’s group because its an offensive term?
You know when conservatives ask why supposedly tolerant groups are actually very intolerant? This is that, but like actually legitimate. It baffles me that these groups can operate like this and not realize the harm they’re doing.
Yeah, there is sometimes a grain of truth to that sort of thing. I gotta be real careful talking about a lot of my experiences, because I know they sound like right-wing talking points, and I don’t want to give them ammo against my side, y’know? It’s frustrating, but there are bigger problems that need to be solved first.
Man here, I just doublechecked my blocks, and sure enough, respectfully blocked.
Yeah I didn’t know about the rule when I replied to a post. I was thanked by the OP, then had my comment deleted by mods (based on username only).
Blocked the community, why shouldn’t I if I can’t even participate?
More power to you and all, but this sounds like getting mad at the radio DJ. Not everything has to be two-way communication, sometimes it’s fun to watch others’ interactions.
I find it interesting that their objections are about the evidence used for bans, rather than claiming they were banned in error.
It’s certainly not how I would respond if I were falsely accused of bring a man.
I wasn’t saying they are wrong, just that the community is getting exactly what it wants. Less contribution and visibility on an already small platform.
I commented on a post about putting lotion in a zip bag, and my comment was about putting mayo in a squeeze bottle. Not exactly gendered discourse.
Kind of like a community that only accepts input from say, black people. A question about favorite pizzas being thrown out because my username doesn’t confirm I’m black, it’s just a little weird.
I would imagine they had more to go on than just the username. Its a small community, whenever someone joins for the first time the mods check their post history. I imagine they found something.
It is what the community wants. Its a comfy little space for girls to talk about girl stuff! The mods do an effective job maintaining that atmosphere.
Chat gpt is actually pretty good at it.
yeah but they picked the shitty radio edit and didn’t even wait to the end to start announcing the next song, they stink!
Yep, blocked this one. No harsh feelings but I don’t think it’s meant to be public. They should be free to do what they want to do with their space. On the other hand, private would hurt discoverability. I sort of understand where they’re coming from.
Thanks for the no harsh feelings. Blocking is fine. See you in the other instances! (Not a mod, just a woman who appreciates the instance)
🫡
I automatically block communities that put requirements like that on participation. If they don’t want me interacting with it, I don’t want to even see it. I also don’t think it’s appropriate for a publicly open forum. Go make your own private thing somewhere if you want to immediately start off as an echo chamber.
I didn’t want to see your comment, but that won’t stop me from complaining about having to see your comment anyway.
I mean this very kindly but “i don’t think it’s appropriate” is never a good reason to dictate the actions of others.
Often find yourself inside many stores you find irrelevant when strolling around town? All those unlocked doors must be such temptation.
I don’t recall ever seeing a sign on such a locked door (that is not even locked) that said “Open to the public; Come on in” only to walk in and then be shouted at for not being an employee.
How are new women to find it if it never appears in All? Feel free to block/remove it, just as you would any niches that don’t interest you and clog up your feed. Or just scroll past, like I do for Linux and gaming and moe.
You invite them or advertise where they can sign up. The same as any other kind of private group.
but linux doesnt tell you you cant comment here if you dont use linux
Imagine every public linux forum overrun by 90% Windows user,s and you might just begin to understand.
Agreed, it’s just a lot of paying attention to the instance names and scrolling past. Usually the post title is a clue as well, but occasionally something sounds like something else. I don’t want to block the whole term, because it might be a small part of some post I’d otherwise be interested in. In any case, I know better than to drop comments in a topic that’s outside my experience.
Yeah, unfortunately I did the same after I got warned off for a perfectly fine interaction.
That’s okay. I mean, if you want to open it up again and read it to get a perspective on how women speak when they’re in their own space, nobody minds. But if you don’t want it cropping up in your feed, that’s cool. Obviously the reason it shows up in All is so new women can find it. Being reminded not to comment is just that, a reminder of the rules, and not necessarily a criticism of the content. If women didn’t face so much denial of their voices it wouldn’t be necessary.
I think you just described two things working almost exactly as designed.
You should use block liberally to curate your feed.
Similarly, communities should have whatever rules make sense for them. If that keeps the community small, that might be the desired outcome for them.
I think blocking was the right call here.
There’s only one side of this that is using things as designed, and that would be me blocking things I don’t want to engage with. If a community wants to cater to a very specific group of people, they should be using the tools of the platform that allow them to do so by being set to private snd creating a whitelist instead of leaving it public and expecting everyone to follow the honor system of not engaging if they are not part of the accepted group.
There is no benefit to leaving it public and being private doesn’t make it invisible.
In the very broadest sense I don’t disagree with you. Making a community private is a useful tool and can help to simplify strict entry guidelines.
However, given that “Cater to a very specific group of people”, refers to basically half of earth’s population in this case, I do have some quibbles.
I don’t have the data in front of me, but I bet that women represent something quite less than half the population of Lemmy. It doesn’t even stretch the imagination to suppose that they represent just a fraction of the user base.
So this isn’t a niche interest or obscure sub-culture we’re talking about. This is an artificial minority population. Is the simplicity of going private worth the added obscurity and increased friction to what should be organic community growth?
As it is, you had to see it, decide to engage with it, and then learn that it wasn’t meant for you, and you’d have just preferred to remain unaware it ever existed. Never mind that would also ensure most other People remain unaware it exists.
Is it really such a hardship on you for the filter to be set a little wider for the good of that community?
If not commenting is too hard… maybe a setting where you can only comment if you’ve subscribed would be cool
I like to read WomenStuff because It helps me to understand the concerns of people who are different from myself, and knowing the rules; I don’t mind not posting because that’s the rule. So get on wit yo bad self, WomenStuff.
There’s a lot of value in new perspectives. I’m glad its not set to private… but based on this thread, I’m sure the mods have their work cut out.
Apparently, a lot more men need to learn this.
Hell yeah! That’s exactly the spirit of this post.
Honestly, excluding any gender from commenting on the public internet is fucking braindead stupid. Also - how do they define “woman”?
I don’t like there being forums set to ‘public’ on open platforms that then say if you aren’t in a specific demographic then you aren’t allowed to comment. If you don’t want me to comment then set your forum to private so it doesn’t show up in everyone’s feed. Yes, you’ll have fewer people there, but they will be only the people you want.
Setting a group to public, and then telling the general public that it’s actually private, is simply incorrect, and a recipe for a muddled antagonistic mess.
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor. There is no downside. Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women. Feels like an easy w to me.
It requires a change to the whole flow of interaction actually. No other public community requires you to check the rules to see if you’re allowed to post at all.
Have to click the community, and know to check the sidebar, oh fuck are we back on reddit
literally requires zero work to honor.
No true at all. I must at minimum perform the work to stay attentive to the community and its unique rules.
Most community rules can be narrowed down to “don’t be a dick” while a women’s only community also requires one to not have a dick or have one but be transitioning away from having one.
The best part is that the second rule of !womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone is:
Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
And apparently they moved because I had blocked the one on lazy.social and haven’t come across the new one. So even blocking to avoid accidentally breaking rules doesn’t always work.
Guess what? If you accidentally break the rules, the mods will helpfully remove the comment and send you a polite reminder! You won’t even lose karma over it because there is no karma! At worst you’ll experience something women often do in real life: having your voice dismissed.
“Having your voice dismissed due to your gender is wrong.”
dismisses your voice due to your gender
I hope that’s not a reason they actually give, because it’s incredibly hypocritical.
I think it is hilarious that they have a don’t be a dick rule, it is completely on point. Thank you for the smug explanation about karma that has nothing to do with what we are talking about!
My lamentation for not having built in tools to allow them or myself to manage participation short of blocks and bans is about the lack of tools. There are settings to limit who can post, but as far as I know there aren’t tools to limit participation short of a ban or block. Heck, I would love the ability to set notes that display for me about communities or users as reminders because I would add notes about not commenting or not down voting for the communities that have that as a rule but also have content I want to see.
It is a request in the sidebar/bottom of the page that barely anyone looks at because the vast, vast majority of community rules boil down to ‘don’t be an ass and no porn’.
I’m not opposed to community rules or anything, but saying it requires zero work is wrong because one has to intentionally take the time to check out and remember the rules or voluntarily block to avoid accidentally breaking the rules. It isn’t a lot of work, but it is certainly more than zero.
It is a request in the sidebar/bottom of the page
It’s a pinned post:
Which doesn’t appear in anyone’s feed, you only see that when you specifically go to that community’s page. Which is yet another clear factor in why it should be set to private instead of public
Which doesn’t appear in anyone’s feed, you only see that when you specifically go to that community’s page. Which is yet another clear factor in why it should be set to private instead of public
If Fedia has a broken GUI, that’s not their responsibility. It’s the responsibility of All feed users not to badly interact with random posts.
I take issue with you defining “being a non-woman and commenting” as “badly interacting.”
I take issue in general with people who browse the All feed and demand that everyone else bends to them (like the BS demand to make communities non-public) instead of the All feed users taking a few easy steps to behave according to how the fediverse is set up: each space can have their own rules.
That is completely disconnected from this specific Women community. I’ve seen posts in other communities downvoted by people not active there, even though those posts were of interest to subscribers of these communities but ending up buried to subscribers. That’s simply BS behavior. If one scrolls through the All feed, it’s simply on them to A) ignore posts that don’t concern them and B) read the local rules before commenting.
No, if you don’t like how a platform works, then that’s the wrong platform for you to use.
When I click on a post out of the All or Subscribed feed I don’t go to the main community page.
When I click on a post out of the All or Subscribed feed I don’t go to the main community page.
It’s literally the topmost rule of the sidebar. If your client doesn’t display the sidebar properly, that’s on you and your choice of client. Default lemmy-ui displays it just fine.
Not on mobile
Every post I’ve seen has a disclaimer on it. Maybe that’s just certain posters who include the disclaimer in the post, though.
But when I say zero effort, I mean literally it takes zero effort to respect the rule once you’re aware of it.
Remembering all the rules of a massive number of communities takes effort.
And yet, you manage to live in society.
Yes, and trying to remember all of those rules also takes more than zero effort. I regularly forget those rules too!
It’s ok, I like having you around, @spankmonkey. Cheers!
Conflicted.
On one hand, their playground, their rules.
On other, if you don’t want to interact with half of community, why not just, dunno…limit visibility? Make it actual safe space?
I am good with anything and do respect their choice, just it’s fun to think about.
I think for those types of communities having it be open but restricting commenting to flaired users that are verified makes way more sense. I’m not sure if that’s possible on Lemmy, but it’s an easy way to have the best of both worlds.
Just make a discord at that point lmao
if you don’t want to interact with half of community, why not just, dunno…limit visibility?
It’s not on the community to make it harder for their target audience to find them. It’s on people who scroll the All feed to leave posts alone that don’t concern them.
The rules are not displayed in the All feed. Some specific communities are still welcoming of people who are not the topic being discussed.
When you click a post, the rules might be hidden or at the bottom of the page. Do you take the effort to read all of the rules before posting in every community on the All feed?
Do you take the time before voting, since some communities have banned down voting?
When you click a post, the rules might be hidden or at the bottom of the page.
It’s literally the topmost rule of the sidebar. If your client doesn’t display the sidebar properly, that’s on you and your choice of client. Default lemmy-ui displays it just fine.
I guess you haven’t ever used lemmy on a phone or in a narrow window on PC where it is hidden until you click a button to show the sidebar?
I squished it to about a third of my desktop to make it switch from side to button. It is a button on mobile for me both in portrait and landscape. ![screenshot of the sidebar button(https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/81e5396f-33c8-410b-a43e-b47134f9eefe.png)
Plus if you click on the comments indicator it scrolls down to the top comment underneath the button, so you have to scroll up to click it to expand.
I’m just saying it isn’t always directly in the user’s face when they interact with a post and expecting everyone to double check the rules every comment is a bit silly of an expectation.
I guess you haven’t ever used lemmy on a phone or in a narrow window on PC where it is hidden until you click a button to show the sidebar?
I’m grown up enough to just use the Subscribed feed, so I don’t even get posts not targeted at me, and I also am fully able to look up the rules from mobile devices. If that’s such a hassle for you, you’re unsuited for federated platforms where you have to accept to encounter a plethora of rules and posts not targeted at you.
If the post is in all it’s in the public forum You don’t get to have your safe space in the public forum. If you say something in public then be prepared. If you want to reach the public because of higher traffic does not mean you can tell people not to respond. I know that people will argue that it’s not fair but it gives off sealioning, im not touching you vibes.
I don’t see a problem with being public and having limiting rules - it’s perfectly fine for women or minority groups to have their own spaces - but never before have I seen such an odd approach to moderating. I too tumbled on one of their threads from ALL and it felt like at least third of the comments there was responded with, paraphrasing, “please never post again”. If every discussion reaching ALL gets like that, I’d imagine it would be easier to figure out some other solution, since it takes such insane amount of effort to go through so many comments and probably profiles and posting history to know who to reply that to, from moderating perspective. Or are they just saying that to everyone? Or everyone not subbed?? I doubt that many people getting answered with “please never post again” would want to join even if they did qualify…
It’s just… I don’t understand the logistics of all that
It’s an extremely simple request that literally requires zero work to honor.
It literally requires every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. Everyone who comes here has to do that, for every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
There is no downside.
There are tons of downsides. All the previously mentioned work, plus all the people who post there and then get reprimanded for it, which causes unpleasant feelings, making people feel excluded from the public space of the fediverse that we want people to feel welcome at, etc i really could keep listing more downsides.
Keeping it open and easy to find means higher engagement for the community and greater visibility on a safe, inclusive space for women.
No, it’s the opposite of that. Keeping it open and easier to find by people who aren’t allowed to engage with the content means it’s always going to be a muddled antagonistic mess.
Feels like an easy w to me.
Feels like an unforced loss for everyone to me.
It literally requires every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. Everyone who comes here has to do that, for every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
The community only excludes men from participating
Seriously, that’s your retort? Ok fine, I’ll rephrase.
It literally requires about half of every single person currently on the fediverse to actively block it. And it requires **about half ** of every single new person that arrives in the fediverse to learn about this group, learn about their rule, learn how to block a group, and then go ahead and block it. About half of everyone who comes here has to do that, for about half of every single new user that joins the fediverse. Forever.
And let’s be honest male users are way more than half
Bro is absolutely sick to his stomach and vomiting that this one community isn’t specifically designed for him and that people might have to * gulp * read the sidebar.
I’ve never seen a community’s sidebar, since I use Lemmy on my phone like probably half of all users.
So do I? It’s very easy to view the sidebar of a community. It’s a good way to get to know them and understand what unique rules they might have.
I’m actually curious, do you use the browser version or a Lemmy app? I’m on Boost and I would have to click into the community if I wanted to see anything more than its name and instance.
Paint it however you want, you cannot change the landscape. If you can only win by imagining your opponent this way, you’ve already lost. Your presence is not enjoyable nor necessary.
I couldn’t be more clear in my reasoning. If you don’t want to read and reply to what I actually said, then you are the problem.
Yay I love reddit like rules, were so back
So not everyone, just half of everyone. Assuming only half of users are men.
Not everything is about you, champ.
Hey “champ”, i never said it was. I said that the way forums work is that if you set your community to appear in All, then that community is supposed to be for all
Or you could just read and respect the community rules. '“I don’t like it…” and “supposed to be” are just a recipe for getting yourself annoyed over nothing. Let it go.
Or you could just read and respect the community rules.
Or that forum can just respect the guidelines of Lemmy private/public settings.
And I’m no more worked up about this than you are.
Or that forum can just respect the guidelines of Lemmy private/public settings.
You should send the mods an email.
And I’m no more worked up about this than you are.
{looks at rest of thread] Suuure.
Beacon has been calm and helpful and has suggested solutions to the problem (the only commenter I’ve seen do that consistently). You immediately jumped to making lazy snide remarks and dismissing people. I think I know who’s more worked up here.
[Sigh] Let me lay it out for the hard of thinking.
First of all, it’s not a ‘problem’.
Second, if any butthurt men think it is a problem, the ‘solution’ is to simply block it rather than require an entire community to bend to their will, as many others have recommended. And even if you think this is a reasonable approach, arguing about it here is hardly going to achieve what you want. Take it up with the mods of that community.
Thirdly, this thread is a pretty good demonstration of why women might not want men’s input sometimes.
And fourthly, is this or is this not a community for shitposting?
That would be the case if it was private but it’s not. I assume the purpose is to allow for visibility on the conversations happening in women’s spaces. If you only care to listen to conversations you can be a part of, hide the community.
As i just wrote to another user, in terms of how forums work, it is saying it wants to be private but also public. There is no default setting for that, but there are ways to do it that achieve what you want without breaking the public/private system. For instance you can make the forum public, but set it to only allow comments from approved users.
Keeping it open means people can find it, and it only excludes men from participating. WomensStuff accepts NBs and transwomen and basically anyone who doesn’t identify as a man. Just because it’s not for men doesn’t mean it’s private.
In terms of how platforms work, a forum is either set to ‘public’ for everyone, or set to ‘private’ if you want to control who interacts with a forum
Setting it to private would limit its discoverability for people who are welcome to contribute, which as you say, is about half of all people. Some people like to lurk and read without posting which is perfectly fine and even welcomed. It’s not a private forum, it’s a forum that just asks men not to post.
In terms of how forums work, it is saying it wants to be private but also public. There is no default setting for that, but there are ways to do it that achieve what you want without breaking the public/private system. For instance you can make the forum public, but set it to only allow comments from approved users.
Lemmy has the ability to set who can create Posts within a community, and there are a lot that only allow the mods to create Posts.
Trying to do the same for comments would require a lot more complexity unless comments were tied to subscriptions. Even then it wouldn’t cover the situation of people wanting to subscribe without being eligible to comment.
To be clear, I do think WomensStuff women only rule is 100% perfectly fine for various reasons and the limitations of the software are the issue.
i agree with this, but would like to point out:
if the software can’t do what you want it to do…you need to use a different software.
from what i can tell about the community, they really want to be a discord server, but on lemmy…why not just use discord in the first place then?
faulting the general userbase for using the software exactly as intended and then getting mad about it seems…really toxic…and intentionally combative.
The software could be changed to facilitate what they want to do, it isn’t like the core design couldn’t handle a feature where people could only comment if they were specifically granted permissions for the community. There could even be permissions on who can vote, like restricting to people who are subscribed and whatnot. The fact that it doesn’t exist yet doesn’t mean it can’t work for the intended purpose.
The reason for being in the fediverse is visibility, same as most other communities.
The underlying issue is one of visibility, and making it more visible could also attract unwanted attention. For example, they could address people like myself who can’t keep track of all the community specific rules by changing their name to something like “WomensStuff (no men)” but that would probably prompt people who would otherwise ignore or block the community to go make a fuss like they are in this post.
They could clarify the reason for the rule, although that does make the rules longer. For example they could include something about the intent being to have discussions from women’s perspectives without them being drowned out when limiting who can comment.
the point I’m making is:
the software doesn’t do what they want right now.
future development doesn’t mean anything in this context, but by all means, open a feature request; I’m sure plenty of communities would welcome features like that!
the problem is the disregard for the design of the platform.
it doesn’t do what they want now, and they need to conform to how the platform works now.
public means public. private means private.
those settings exist for a reason.
if visibility is such a concern, make two communities:
one that is public and allows anyone to participate, and one that is private, invite only.
that last one is obviously what they have tried to recreate here, and it’s not how the platform generally works.
in a traditional forum, this isn’t really an issue, since you’d just have a designated board, clearly separate from others. only lemmy is not a traditional forum. it doesn’t have this separation.
anything that shows up on all is supposed to be fair game for everyone.
if you don’t want that, don’t make it show up in all.
i really don’t care if it’s a womens only, or mens only, or canadians only community. the public feed is not the place for that, and with the current state of the software (which is the only thing of relevance here) what this community wants is not possible.
so either:
- find a workaround (that doesn’t annoy the general userbase)
- contribute to a technical solution (it is a public repo after all)
- use software that actually has the feature you want.
annoying users is generally bad Netiquette. this bad Netiquette is the issue at hand.
not the desire for a designated womens space. i haven’t seen anyone in the thread lamenting that.
this whole thing is kind of like setting up a bbq in the middle of a public park, and getting mad at people, when they point out that there is a designated bbq area that you are supposed to use.
it’s not the people pointing out the existence of a designated bbq area that are wrong!
it’s the people ignoring the signs that say “please use the designated area for your bbqs” that are wrong.
The software also doesn’t force people in any community to stay on the topic of that community, that is done through moderation.
this whole thing is kind of like setting up a bbq in the middle of a public park, and getting mad at people, when they point out that there is a designated bbq area that you are supposed to use
Actually it is more like having a BBQ competition in the park where only people who registered can participate in the BBQ competition but everyone else is free to watch, but not group up and shout over the people participating in the competition.
if that’s the case nearly 100% of Lemmy is ‘private’ because people who break the rules get banned
This opinion is foolish. Just block it if you dont like it.
Why even comment if you didn’t read what you’re replying to?
The sidebar also says “this is an inclusive community” followed by a rule that excludes 50% of the planet.
Inclusive of what counts as “woman” and what’s a valid topic. Come on
And probably 80% of the userbase of the platform.
so it doesn’t show up in everyone’s feed
Or don’t scroll the All feed and complain about / downvote random content you don’t like.
It’s not private. It’s just targeted to a demographic .
It’s not just targeted at that group, it’s supposedly only for that group to be able to participate, so it should be set to private in the community settings. Being set to public is for a community that everyone in the public can participate in, while being set to private is for a community that only some people can participate in.
I view plenty of communities I don’t post in because I have no relevant knowledge or experience. Even if I were outright excluded from posting I’d still find the discussions interesting. People don’t need to hear my opinion for me to get value out of something.
That’s your choice. It’s a completely different thing.
In fact, we generally consider toxic communities where there is a harsh form of gatekeeping (which in your example would be same result, but the result of the community’s choice, not yours).
Do we? And is that form of gatekeeping harsh, or do you think anything that excludes you is “toxic?”
I’d have a hard time thinking of any group I’m a part of that doesn’t have rules around who can participate. That’s a part of maintaining healthy, relevant discussion in a safe space for members, especially when it’s been well documented that this particular group has had their voices overpowered by the group they’re excluding.
We do, look at how many critique posts there are about toxic neckbeard groups, for example about hardcore technical topics where beginners are ridiculed and excluded (i.e., gatekeeping). Or about gym buff communities, where beginners are ignored or made fun of.
Wouldn’t you call those communities toxic?
any group I’m a part of that doesn’t have rules around who can participate.
Rules about who can participate are absolutely fine, necessary even. Generally those rules are based on what you do, not who you are, though.
well documented that this particular group has had their voices overpowered by the group they’re excluding.
I believe that forcing to identify yourself in some way and heavy moderation would be enough (moderation based on what you do) for an online community. But anyway, I don’t have a problem with those rules in general. However, in your original comment you compared a community keeping you out to your own restraint into participating in a community you feel you have nothing to contribute to. To go back to my example, there is a huge difference between not participating in a technical post that goes over your head and just reading other people’s opinion vs being banned for having demonstrated to be at a lower level of understanding (gatekeeping).
or do you think anything that excludes you is “toxic?”
To address this tiny veiled provocation, I don’t like to participate in communities that gatekeep people, whether I am in the ingroup or not. In fact, I heavily dislike purists in fields I deal with (e.g., selfhosting, tech in general), which is the most common form of gate keeping, and I definitely don’t participate in their communities.
That wasn’t thinly veiled, it was just a provocation.
I wasn’t referring to technical communities and it’s strange you would assume that. There’s a difference between not participating and being told not to participate. One requires self-moderation, and not everyone is great at it.
There are toxic groups of all kinds. The existence of exclusive, toxic groups doesn’t make exclusivity toxic. Weird you’re comparing a women’s only instance to communities who are cruel to outsiders/beginners. There are lots of communities based around race, gender, illness and disability that exist to support people who don’t feel comfortable talking certain topics outside those groups, usually because of a lack of shared lived experience.
If you don’t understand why groups of people of an identity, who face similar challenges because of that identity, would want to curate their space, I don’t know what other comparison to make.
How can the 50 percent of new users who should be women find a private-only forum? Feel free to block, no hard feelings.
Lots of ways. If they’re interested in women-only topics then all they have to do is goto the searchbar and type “women”. And the community mods can even set the community’s post visibility to public and set the allowed commenters to approved users only. And a bunch of other possible setups too. Basically the only bad way to do it is to set the forum to public, and then tell the entirety of the fediverse they have to treat it like it’s actually set to private
Jesus, guys, the rule is apparently just like the clitoris: FRONT AND CENTER BUT INVISIBLE!?!?
You just really needed to find a way to shoehorn that boomer joke in huh…
Why even bother commenting without reading other comments on the page? That has been asked and answered 50 times already. Also, don’t be an asshole. Most people here have been talking about the topic, not making snide remarks
You’ll never get anywhere near the level of interaction making an approved list. it’s a level of trust you have in the platform to respect their safe space. And hey, I blocked them on the third post I saw, so if you’re that bothered it might be a you-problem.
The point of forums is to make a place you’d wanna visit. If enough people want to visit that same place it’s one worth having.
I’ve been tempted to reply to a a couple posts in support. But am not woman, so upvotes are enough.
Same, I had to delete my reply when I realized what sub it was. It feels like stepping on eggshells, so I’d rather block even though I’m constantly fighting on the women’s front as a gay man. Like, alright, not even allies here, then.
Blocking is as valid as silently upvoting imho. It’s not our space, but we can be silent allies.
I am pretty disappointed eh. For obvious reasons.
