when yall stop making eye contact, you’ve truly lost your humanity
Depends, it seems quite inhuman to make eye contact while in an online text conversation. Can you imagine you are typing a response on Lemmy and suddenly some eyes appear on your screen looking at you from the post you are responding to?
For those with aphantasia, simply open a terminal on your Linux machine and run
xeyeswhile you read this comment thread.yes, but that assumes that there is some human quality to the internet. yes, we post emojis and people love cat pics, but there’s still something inherently plastic about all of this - something deeply human that is lost in binary translation, which is why it’s important that we hold on to simple things like using our voices and making eye contact IRL.
Conversely there is something deeply inhuman about the way people IRL constantly lie to each other (often hidden behind euphemisms like “politeness” or “etiquette”) and only talk to those where the first visual impression conforms to their prejudices on who might be interesting or pleasant to talk to.
Some of us are autistic, Harold.
i’m on the spectrum myself, but i was raised before awareness was widespread. i overcame it, and i’m thankful because it’s a lonely place inside my head compared to the joy of sharing interactions with people IRL.
That’s absolutely fair; I guess, more so, what I was trying to push against is the implication that eye contact is a necessary component of sharing interactions with people IRL (and, rather, it’s perfectly possible to be IRL with others without eye contact), if that distinction makes more sense.
Right but also people rarely expect constant 100% eye contact. The occasional glance to show connection is actually more than enough for basically everyone and can be learned to done pretty easily. Its not needed but even the simple glance of eye contact makes people feel way more seen and heard.
Then you can just talk past each other the rest of the time as is standard.This. Just 3 or 4 seconds of contact, then look away. A minute or 2 later, do it again. It becomes ingrained eventually. Don’t stare into someone’s soul the entire time. That’s creepy and can be taken as aggression.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king
🎵 so take this ring
Well in the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king
Sing the song!!!
Bow, and kneel before me!!!
I am extremely introverted, but working as a software engineer in a consultancy where the owner wanted engineers to be on the end of phones for clients was in many ways a godsend. The secret of calls is that everyone also hates it. The secret of eye contact is that the other person hates it too, so just do it enough to show that you’ve tried and that’s the acceptable norm.
My coworker spent 30 minutes trying to find another way to contact a vendor after I told her the easiest way to order the thing she needed was just to call and it would take 2 minutes. I hate calling too, but that’s just dumb. Or maybe I just like efficiency more than I hate the phone.
At work at least I have a script I can follow. I am The Role.
But please don’t make me order a pizza after work hours
I mean, if there’s a fully functional way to order online, why would you call? I just prefer a phone call when something would take paragraphs to explain or if there really isn’t an easy way to do something via a website/email.
Tbh I call because
“Pick up or delivery?”
“Pick up.”
"Name?
“[Name Redacted]”
“Alright and what can I get ya?”
“16” pepperoni, jalapeno, pineapple, that’s it."
“Alright 20min”
Is like a 1min conversation, and I’d rather do that than get charged $5 more for using Slice or OrderUp.
Some of the online ordering services are sneaky and bake their fee into the prices of the items you order, so it’s not even clear that you pay extra. My despise of that practice motivates me to call in my orders.
There is a script between you and the business. Learn it, master it
Or maybe I just like efficiency more than I hate the phone.
This is me. Texting is great for simple questions but if any sort of extended back and forth is needed just calling tends to be faster.
It’s not so much that I can’t make phone calls, as much as I don’t want to. 75% of the time you just end up playing phone tag, and I’d rather just email so they can reply at their convenience and there’s no question about who said what
You play phone tag because people REALLY hate being called
Along with the fact that any more when you HAVE to call, it’s going to be dealing with a bullshit auto answering system that leads you in circles and intentionally misunderstands you.
This is the problem.
I needed a car battery the other day and just wanted to know if it was in stock because it’s a little uncommon. I went online, it said they did, went to the store, they didn’t, told me to call and verify because online updates overnight.
I called 4 different stores, nobody answered the first 3, 4th one rang forever, then an auto answering thing kept me for 5 minutes and when no option helped me it said “try again later, goodbye.”
Usually with automated systems hitting whatever option gets you to a human no matter how wrong it is will get you to the right place eventually
Some do some don’t. I love to play the mash buttons and hope for a real person game but more often lately it just ignores you or says that isn’t an input and keeps you locked in the automated, cause their just isn’t a person on the other side being paid to actually pick up a phone.
No, millennials with rich parents will inherit the Earth.
They’ll leave it all to their least empathetic, most entitled, most selfish brat of the litter.
The one’s they see themselves in.
In boomer times, phone calls were expensive and were transferred over landlines. It had an impact on the quality of the conversation.
Today people call you with 1% battery while at the register of the supermarket and instantly launch into a monologue about how they know it’s not a good time to call, and they might even cut off any moment, and they know you’re usually busy at 10am on a work day, but they really need to know if they can call you “later” to discuss something really important. And before you can tell them anything, they cut off. At least it’s over!
10 minutes later they call you from their car and it takes them a couple of minutes to get the audio working so they can repeat everything they said earlier. It’s what you have to do if a call was cut off! Then they drive into a tunnel.
Dealing with this shit is a dark art fr
Its never been easier to be lazy and unplanning about things and use other peoples time to try and cure your own boredom.
It’s why there are a disproportionate number of Mormon CEOs and politicians. They train them from a young age to do missionary work.
You see it would be this mat with conclusions written on it… that you could jump to
Firm handshakes.
Something that has me feeling old as shit is youngsters use loud speaker in public, on the bus, in city centre, now this would make sense to me if they were in a group but nope its just one person and I hear the entire conversation from both sides.
It isn’t even just “youngsters” at this point, it’s people in basically every possible demographic, and it’s absolutely infuriating. It’s literally never been easier to consume vast amounts of media privately, even in public. With shit like the Apple Vision or other headsets and a good pair of noise canceling headphones, you could literally be watching the dirtiest porn imaginable and no one would be the wiser, and yet people feel the need to assault everyone around them with their awful taste in content. And no, the type of content doesn’t matter, I don’t care if it’s Lil Nas X, Bach, the Beatles, your favorite YouTuber, a TED Talk, or anything else. If you’re playing it over a speaker in public, it’s awful.
I also don’t need to hear about your brother’s tragic drug problems over speakerphone while I’m shopping for groceries, I don’t want to hear your obnoxiously loud TikToks while I’m taking a shit, and you can put your game of fucking Candy Crush on mute while you’re on a redeye 8hr international flight and people are trying to sleep.
Honestly, that’s the best critique I’ve heard of this, so far; so much of us complaining about people’s noise in public just reminds me of the adults in our youth and just…I dunno, rubs me the wrong way.
I’m a millennial. I’m nearly 41. I’m the director of department.
I am also a fun little trash goblin on the weekends.
We can be competent at work and fun friendly people.
I find all this generational ontology very tiring nowadays
Always has been, stupid way to needlessly divide people
Thats exactly what a boomer would say
/s
What an Amos thing to say
I’m a millennial and I’m fine at work with eye contact and whatnot (it’s uncomfortable, but I’m a manager now and do it regularly), but I detest phone calls. I don’t understand why, I’m fine going in to an institution to get stuff done, but the thought of calling someone is super intimidating for some reason. And I grew up with a landline at home and didn’t get a cell phone (i.e. no SMS) until I went to college. So it’s not like I was conditioned to avoid calls, I just grew to hate them for some reason.
That said, when I do call, I generally get things done much more quickly, so it’s completely irrational. Yet here we are. I have to give myself a small pep talk before pressing the call button.
Do you feel like it’s hard to understand people who are talking clearly when you’re on the phone? I do.
Not usually, but I do find I have to pay closer attention for whatever reason.
I take 30-40 calls daily, before this job I would never call, now I feel very comfortable calling, but I will still never ever answer an unknown call outside of work.
Literally everything I learned in my high school careers class was useless because the world changed so much because of the internet getting more and more mainstream. Was told to keep calling and asking about applications; nobody actually answers the phone. Was told to collect and fill out applications in person; everyone moved to online-only applications. Was told to dress like I’m going to church for interviews; most interviews I’ve had were group interviews and 90% of the other applicants just wore jeans and t-shirts. Was taught to meet the higher ups so they would get to know me; the higher ups aren’t even on site except maybe once in a blue moon because something went wrong.
Make something go wrong, then
Force the target to come to you. Brilliant.
This but unironically. Seems like everyone works through recruiters now, because they’ve effectively outsourced HR.
Padding your LiinkedIn profile and dangling yourself like bait in front of recruitment firms (or just going through campus recruiters if you’re in college) is the best way to land a job that isn’t a series of MLM scams.
But you still have to wade your way through a surplus of MLM scams.
Employment fairs are fun
It’s a low bar, but they manage to be more fun than simply going on the computer and filling out a thousand applications
Some employers were happy with merely the quality of paper of my CV. Gave a good first impression, although they did direct me to a sign up link. It is worth noting that they were small businesses, though
I’m on the youngest side of the millennials, when do I inherit, since I often like to phone in, as these days if you want something fixed quick, you’re better off calling (in Australia at least).
Much better waiting on hold for 10 mins than who knows how many business days before the customer service inevitably copy pastes something from the FAQ that doesn’t resolve your problem.
Also, I like to call friends, on the phone. And use SMS 0_0
Again, when can I get my inheritance, thanks haha
you gotta wait for the boomers and gen x to go.
Gen X mostly just does their own thing. I’m displeased that you even mentioned us.
Gen X mostly just does their own thing
I know, its all you lot talk about, that and your MTV and your Dan Fogleberg, your Zima, hula hoops and Pac-man video games!
Whatever…
Here, have a Pepsi.
Chiming to say I am also a millennial that doesn’t break down over phone calls, shaking hands, and talking to strangers, even when the socialization is important to my livelihood
I don’t break down while interacting, but I certainly break down when I get home. Yay masking.
That sucks. I pretty mush have the opposite issue. I don’t feel anxiety, don’t really understand it. Just know some of the people i know get anxiety attacks that are bad to the point they mimic heart attacks. Fucked up shit.
I’m pretty good at the whole interacting thing when it’s one on one, but put me in a room with more than one person and I freeze up, completely fall apart.
My favorite part is when the person I talk to or meet in person pretends their more important and I match their bravado. Alot of employees settle the fuck down. And the C level employees seem to meet my maturity instead of placate.
If anyone reads this I suggest you try. Their just people. Sometimes they have a Senior position becauS their older…
