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no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 25 days ago

Avocado

lemmy.world

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Avocado

lemmy.world

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 25 days ago
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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    AI says what?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      24 days ago

  • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows

    • Carl@sh.itjust.works
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      25 days ago

      Your the expert, tell us.

      • Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago
        • you + are = you’re
        • Carl@sh.itjust.works
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          24 days ago

          I guess you’re* the expert.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          24 days ago

          No.

          My the expert.

    • last_philosopher@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      I’d imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        Why? We’re a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          24 days ago

          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

    • flandish@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        Altar boy?

        • flandish@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

      • General_Effort@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        Oof.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        24 days ago

        I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you’re doing well.

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
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    25 days ago

    “Clean penis”? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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      25 days ago

      The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.

      • bstix@feddit.dk
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        25 days ago

        Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

        • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
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          25 days ago

          wdym

          • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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            25 days ago

            Strictly speaking, WD-40 is for water displacement. It is also not patented because they don’t want to give away the recipe.

            Though, I think the other guy might have meant “lubricant” in the context of sex.

  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    25 days ago

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    • Delphia@lemmy.world
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      24 days ago

      I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed… she did not like what was in her toast.

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      25 days ago

      Don’t trust her.

      Only one way to know the truth.

      🍆

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    I mean, sure in the sense they dint really taste like much.

  • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    25 days ago

    I don wanna know what unclean penis taste like

    • mysticpickle@lemmy.ca
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      25 days ago

      • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

      • Twitches@lemm.ee
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        25 days ago

        Omg 🤣

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        25 days ago

        Mouth feels? Or like smell? Or like something else?

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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      25 days ago

      It would be easy to find out, in fact they might pay you to find out!

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        24 days ago

        Who the hell would go through the hassle of buying sex without cleaning ur pp. I mean that just sounds grim at that point.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          24 days ago

          You’d be surprised.

    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      24 days ago

      Like what it smells like but pissier and salty af. At first. After you slather on it for a while it all just tastes the same because you’ve cleaned it with your mouth and throat. I do not enjoy unclean penis. It is not fun, it is not hot. Please clean your nasty cocks for the love of god. Hygiene, people, hygiene!

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        24 days ago

        makes sense. and ewww people really needa learn basic hygiene.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          24 days ago

          I dated a girl who would wash her pp every time she went to the bathroom.

          I miss her. She had a very nice (and clean) pp, but gods, she did things with her fingers 🤤 fifteen minute straight, actual screaming orgasms. I’ve never been so embarrassed of being at a loss of control of my entire body. Just with her fingers 🤌

          …Nothing else has or ever will compare 😣 … Especially dirty dick people ☹️

  • enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    25 days ago

    that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      It’s vintage, thank you

    • Tailz (she/her)@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally

      • nomy@lemmy.zip
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        25 days ago

        It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.

        Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.

        • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          The first optical mice absolutely sucked compared to trackballs.

          Fortunately, that period did not last long.

          • ddh@lemmy.sdf.org
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            20 days ago

            First optical mouse I used was interning at a university engineering department in 1993. It had a special metal mousepad with a grid on it, and it worked pretty well as I recall.

            TIL it was a Kirsch design, one of the first, from 1980.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_mouse#/media/File:Old_optical_mouse.jpeg

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      25 days ago

      Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis

      • ch00f@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        cleanpenis.fart

  • hefejefe@lemm.ee
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    25 days ago

    How do I unsee an image

    • proti@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      this but in reverse
      brain no mor

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        25 days ago

        Goodness me that is unsettling

        • FippleStone@aussie.zone
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          25 days ago

          Anime ain’t right

      • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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        25 days ago

        What’s the name of the show? Looks familiar

        • proti@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          It’s Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade from Kizumonogatari, but you probably know her by the name Shinobu

          • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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            24 days ago

            Thank you!

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
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      25 days ago

      • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

        The “Phineas Gage Special” is not 100% effective.

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      25 days ago

      Why do you want to unsee it, don’t you like avocados?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      25 days ago

      Some sort of eye surgery

      • neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        25 days ago

        That doesn’t help, it’s already in memory.

        Obviously the answer is suicide.

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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          25 days ago

          Some sort of existence surgery

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    25 days ago

    Are they flipping out because that’s ridiculous and false?

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    25 days ago

    Hey, who’s been using my avocado scented soap?

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    25 days ago

    Um excuse me?

    I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

    I’d eat more avocado if that was true.

    • Beero@lemmy.world
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      24 days ago

      Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers…smells…pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      25 days ago

      We’re trying to promote hygiene here

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        25 days ago

        Well they don’t taste like dirty penis either.

        • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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          25 days ago

          not as chewy, either.

          • Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works
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            24 days ago

            what a day to have eyes

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      25 days ago

      It’s probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        25 days ago

        Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

        • moving to lemme.zip. @lemm.ee
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          24 days ago

          Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

        • Allemaniac@lemmy.world
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          24 days ago

          maybe it’s because american light beer is just really close to fucking water.

    • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      25 days ago

      I showed this to my wife, she agrees.

      • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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        24 days ago

        Her boyfriend’s penis must be clean.

        • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          24 days ago

          Last I checked mine was cleaner, and I won the swordfight

  • guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    25 days ago

    of course it’s a BuzzFeed article

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/avocado-tastes-like-clean-penis

    • altphoto@lemmy.today
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      25 days ago

      That website is a mangled mess of advertising.

  • DoubleDongle@lemmy.world
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    25 days ago

    Damn, I wish I knew I was bi before I met my wife, because I love avocado.

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      25 days ago

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    Never knowingly ate any anyhow so ymmv

  • moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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    25 days ago

    Does this mean I have never tasted a clean penis?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
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      25 days ago

      I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tasted an avocado

      • RedditAdminsSuckIt@lemmy.world
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        25 days ago

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

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You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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