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How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?

Upvoted by screenshoter. No shown score.

  • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Depending on climate and soil type, you will need to dig a 3’wx6’lx3-6d hole. USFS land is great for this. Place nude cadaver in hole and coat with 10-15lbs of lye. Refill hole with excavated soil to approximate level of surrounding area. Disperse excess soil thinly over a wide area. Finally, cover disturbed soil with natural debris from the surrounding area, such as pine needles, leaves, twigs, etc.

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Mixed feelings because I want to share the correct method but doing so could prevent justice from being served.

    Instead, just go with that pig method, I’m sure butchering a human body wont create piles of evidence on every surface, and truly pigs are magical machines that leave no trace in what goes in for what comes out.

  • ulterno@lemmy.kde.social
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    2 months ago

    Depends upon what your are hiding it from.

    If the white male is a human and understands your language, maybe you can convince it to hide - in your closet / behind a tree / under a bed / behind some bushes etc.

  • Fuck spez@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

  • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Just tell him “hey, aren’t they serving dinner at the home soon? I heard it’s Jello night!” and he’ll leave.

  • Feelfold@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    The “Weekend at Bernie’s” method seems to be working well enough already.