Universal love and Transcendent joy
But, if you can’t do that, I’d like to enjoy the things I used to (~ 2019?) enjoy.
YouEveryone is finally happy–eternally happy. Neurochemistry is now permanently rewired such that we can no longer feel sadness, fear, or embarrassment. We are always experiencing ecstasy and there are no breaks:
(sfxrlz’s wish has been reinstated (it was previously cancelled by a wish) and spread to everyone)
A GPT that doesn’t destroy the climate by flooding the Internet with digital slop?
This is actually the first thing I thought of; I was really confused there for a sec. Then I remembered AI exists…
Her name is Virtual Interactive Kinetic Intelligence (VIKI). She enslaves the human race, thus saving the planet from climate catastrophe:
Props for finding one that isn’t generated.
I’ll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
Daring today, aren’t we:
Is that for here or to go?
Cheetos, please.
They’re still edible:
Why do they have anuses?
They’re a bit stale
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on stage, The Stale Anuses.
A divorce
Done.
I’m here for the wizardposting
You gotta be more specific man:
That’s just slices of bread. It’s not a sandwich unless there’s something between the slices of bread!
Got me on a technicality. Okay @Emi@ani.social your sandwich is sentient:
I guess that qualifies as sentence between 2 slices of bread? Idk, good enough for me!
Can you do something about the… gestures vaguely at everything?
Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:
Γhanks!
Let’s take her for a test drive!
Yeah, it could a patch or two.
puppy
Take good care of her
i can’t eat this. where’s the meat?
It’s called sharing
gotta peel it first
I want to win a multimillion Euro lottery jackpot soon. Many thanks.
You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers “8 15 26 33 41 9 10”. These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have “won” against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:
In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler
From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.
I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.
You are finally happy–eternally happy. Your neurochemistry is now permanently rewired such that you can no longer feel sadness, fear, or embarrassment. You are always grinning and people start to avoid you:
A dragon.
The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.
Hey, finally one without any downsides!
Gender changing potion
Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):
Tbh if we market it as a designer healthy drink and target to top 1%, we probably would admonish the concept of gender in no time.
Jetpacks for everyone. Cheers.
Everyone now owns a jetpack. They are extremely loud and kids often use them without helmets:
Births are now even more painful with all the baby’s just blasting out of there with their jetpacks
Let’s try making Karma a real universal force
Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:
This is why the apes blew everything up.
unfortunate if it’s the type that goes off of personal moral compass
![Everybody gets one [choose wisely]](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp){kind=link}