I’d just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.
After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
To clarify why, it’s because sperm travels through those tubes for at least 5 days before reaching maturity and then once in position can be ejaculated by a pressure differential caused by the prostate (that bulb thing between the balls and urethra). So an effective switch with an instant effect would need to be placed before but directly adjacent to the prostate which could have potential complications when the prostate attempts to dry fire with the feed shuttered.
The solution is clearly to add a synthetic pressure bladder. (Don’t, I’m joking).
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor’s orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?
That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
Beat your meat in the missus?
Gotta wait for the clear bill of health
I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.
Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done
Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.
That’s just good science.
This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?
I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.
Yeah, but you still gotta go through it
I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.
Did you have to get a USE to join the band?
Should’ve gone to Gainesville
Wait won’t this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?
Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal
Go full RGB, acquire “Gamer Balls”.
That’s this:
The RGB just makes you nut faster.
This, but I want the voice command changed to “Go go gadget genitalia”
I’d just want the Super Mario power-up/power-down sound effects.
And when you insert it you hear the sound effect from when he goes down into a pipe.
And the underground theme plays while doing it. As you get closer, the sped up version plays.
I’m in a loud public place so I didn’t attempt clicking/listening, but I heard both those sounds/music in my head anyway. I spent too much time on that game as a kid.
Go go gadget dick
Can you reset any of the voice assistants to respond instead of Siri or Alexa or Bixby or whatever to “go go gadget?”
If this was controlled by your Google home, it would need a battery, which would need to be recharged. Imagine saying “hey Google, turn my balls off” and getting “I can’t reach that device” because you forgot to recharge your ball switch last night…
We’re living in the future
This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.
Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.
An even better birth control is Arch Linux. It’s free and open source. I use Arch btw.
As a fake internet doctor this is all I need to diagnose you as STi free
Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!
It’s that way when having a vasectomy
When I got a vasectomy, it was like 20 before they wanted to do a fertility test.
That was the hardest part of the whole procedure. It took like 3 hours for the doctor to make me cum that many times.
ಠ_ಠ
Someone has made porn of this somewhere
I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?
Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?
Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.
“FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN.”
“You’ve turned on sticky keys.”
I know, right? Do you just flip one and run at 50%?
I don’t want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.
is this one of them brandnewsentences?
You need a button for that?
If you are experiencing pressure issues just mitigate the issue by adding acids (via special infection cultures in the balls) to the cum, or some abrasive materials (jagged kidney/bladder stones perhaps?).
Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!
“Hey, Google, I’m having sex!”
Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.
The stereo starts playing Yakety Sax
Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
Don’t kinkshame me
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲
“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
Even worse
“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
Future kink
Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.
Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint
I think I’d be more concerned if my hands were that small
click
Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions… [35 pages of legalese ensue]
“you’re subscription will expire in 3 days. Renew now to avoid testicular incineration.”
Followed by 15mins of unsinkable ads
uBlock Origin -Iceberg edition-
Hang on one second babe…
(clap-clap)
Things you don’t want tied to a clapper may include this device.
Go to a play
“Fuck was that even or odd?! I’ve been workin’ on this date since dinner!”
