i wouldn’t have guessed that reading the comments of this would lead to blocking another lemmyworld user. it’s amazing how much better a conversation can be when you get rid of the actual shit
Best part about Shitposting honestly.
There’s the shitposters who post weird funny things and are here just having a laugh.
Then the awful mofos who think Shitposting means they can be their true selves and post offensive garbage under the guise of Shitposting. Then they get called out, get really offended/flip out because they didn’t realize.
It’s a great honey trap.
I thought this was going to be satire about the Atlantic editor being accidentally included in war room group chats. Lol.
Derek getting mad laid now.
Are you ‘Derek’?
Oh no. The consequences of my own actions have come back to haunt me
If the contents of my friends’ group chat got leaked… people would just think we’re fucking idiots, not terrible people.
Good work, Derek. Be better, losers in that chat.
How do you know that?
Easy, by having an inflated ego and a holier than thou attitude! 👍
Because they’re a fucking idiot, duh.
I think that’s obtuse, comedy has no limits: As long as you don’t act upon uncomfortable / morally reprehensible ideas you joke about, you aren’t any worse or better than if you had never joked about it. I would argue that exposing a bunch of people for what they joke about with no evidence that they’ve actually done something wrong is far worse than joking about offensive subjects. (one has zero negative affects, the other has many)
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
If the public got to hear first hand all the black humor that goes on in the EMS field, society might further collapse.
Everyone on here is an insufferable twat.
Keep in mind the source of this story. The author has every reason to describe the stuff on their group chat sound tame, so if it sounds bad, it’s probably 3 times worse than that.
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
My impression from the original post was that kind of stuff was what drove most of the fallout. Leaked off color memes aren’t going to ruin people’s relationships, but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
shit talk and leaking messages is pretty bad, but that’s really common these days unfortunately. I wonder how frequently texts like that are shared between female group chats. Depends on the person, and the group, but they are just more connected.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo. Commonality of occurrence certainly doesn’t make it any less wrongful. I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
i’m not saying it is, but from what i understand women tend to have a more cohesive social group, and tend to talk about things between them a lot more, so it would reason that there is a larger chance of stuff like this breaking out into that conversation.
Men just don’t really talk about their personal lives all that much. And when they do it’s usually shitposting.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo.
to be clear, i would generally agree with this, unless it’s understand to be venting/not seriously considered. It might be weird in the latter half, but it’s a lot less rude if it’s an inside joke specifically among a group of people.
I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
and to be fair, if we’re going full gender difference analysis, i think guys are a lot more likely to have a group chat like this, than women, so there’s that.
derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
Derek is a decent person, so you don’t have to worry about that.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
It’s not hard to not be a shit person. That includes in private.
Derek did nothing wrong.
derek still did a shitty thing though. Regardless of how you look it.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
weird that you mention sharing explicit photos, because that’s something that didn’t happen. If we’re to believe OP, that is.
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.
I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.
To narcissists everything is someone else’s fault.
Is the person who made the comments a narcissist, yes. Is the person who screen shorted it and shared it also a narcissist, absolutely.
“Hmmm should I expose all the offensive photoshops and derogatory things they did said about specific people?” No that’s not narcissist by itself.
They hurt everyone else involved intentionally do to a sense of self richeousness. It’s a textbook definition of narcicism.
If someone calls the person they are going through a breakup with a self richeous dingbat who likes to tear down everyone around them in a private chat it’s not a nice thing to do. It also didn’t hurt that person until Derek brought it to their attention in an attempt to hurt the speaker while upsetting/hurting the person who was called names. Especially digging up things from years ago. These people aren’t running for office, they are kids dealing with life in a place of privacy. The number of people I’ve heard call soneone a little dicked asshole who isn’t good in bed is around 50. Never once would I think spreading that information to them or their friends group would be for the greater good. The person is hurt and lashing out. It’s often best to let them recover and sort out their own situation. If they were making plans to harm someone that’s another story, but that isn’t what happened here it appears.
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery. He’s exposing the people for who they are because he thought their “friends” should know who they are and what they are doing. Not for the intent of “hurting everyone else involved intentionally due to a sense of self righteousness”. Whether you agree with what he thought or not, it’s not narcissism (by itself).
It’s also super bizarre that you want privacy for them when they are fucking sharing photos (the context reading they were private) and sharing “raunchy texts”. Where was the privacy for their victims huh? They deserve what they got.
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery.
i mean, we also don’t know what they are. It could be really bad, but it could also be harmless shitposting among the community.
You can look at the descriptors they chose to use, and that’s very likely playing it down big time. I’m betting it was extremely bad.
yeah, but we also don’t know what they are posting, so it’s equally shitty to assume that what they are posting is substantially bad.
Though assuming by the fallout, it seems like it was pretty bad? But then again i’ve seen friend groups break up over smaller shit.
I don’t know about you, but I am very reluctant to insult others, even in private conversations, even if they might deserve it
I always try to approach things constructively, because in the end, those patterns and thoughts bleed out into the world and your behaviour
And do keep in mind, even from the poster’s side of the story, it sounds pretty darn bad, and people have a tendency to downplay their side’s wrongdoings and elevate the other side’s. Chances are, it was probably quite bad
If there’s people in my life that go around talking badly about other like that, even in private… yeah, I’d want to stay the hell away from them too. It’s just a massive warming sign, and you’re going to be the target sooner or later. And you don’t want a coordinated group acting in bad faith against you
Derek is bitch-made.
So shitposters were shitposting. Don’t be bitches and act surprised when people are offended. Own that shit. It was meant to offend, that’s what makes it funny. I’ll join their discord and shitpost too. Call me a “bad person” all you want. idgaf.
Not so much a bad person as someone who vehemently opposes opportunities to be better.
Joking about those things does not make him any better or worse, it’s comedy. Ending that behavior is not an opportunity to be better.
I donno man, I’m no authority on morals but all things being equal I’d rather be around someone who doesn’t share their girlfriend’s sexts with their buddies.
Yes but this clearly wasn’t about that. If it had been he’d just screenshotted that part and focused on that. But he’s a weirdo so he screenshotted 5 years of content, anything that could remotely offend anybody, to make the maximum amount people mad.
I’d say it’s about that, because that is one of the things that group is about, the group this person wants to join.
Fuck that. Why do I need to be better? I don’t give 2 shits about virtue signalling. I don’t have to convince the world that I’m a good person, I know my own virtues and I know that I am; so I’m allowed to joke about horrific shit all the fuck I want.
All of this performative outrage from people is silly. You’re not a bad person just because you like dark humor or shitposting.
You’re not a bad person just because you like dark humor or shitposting.
This is absolutely true.
Why do I need to be better? I don’t give 2 shits about virtue signalling. I don’t have to convince the world that I’m a good person, I know my own virtues and I know that I am; so I’m allowed to joke about horrific shit all the fuck I want.
This is the part that makes you a bad person no one wants to be around.
This is the part that makes you a bad person no one wants to be around.
Again. Wrong. Plenty of family and friends, and a whole region of my state who come to me for advice on cnc related shit, so you missed the mark there too.
Only people who avoid me are well…people like you, who think you need to “display” how good of a person you are. Most normal people understand humor and aren’t perpetually offended. Go touch some grass and meet some people outside for once. The majority of people on Lemmy and Reddit are not what the world would consider ‘normal’.
Do you believe someone can’t be internally motivated to encourage and uplift their peers, or at the very least feel guilt when they laugh at someone’s expense?
Just wondering because I was like that: I told racist jokes, had plenty of similar friends, thought trans people were fooling themselves, and anyone who challenged me was pretending to be offended. I was obviously fine because I had good life.
Then I got older, met more people, learned more stories and when my old friends made fun of the new ones, I felt off about it. Decided I would rather hang out with the people who accepted everyone, made me feel good, and were still funny, just in a different way.
I still feel awful about the things I said and did and kinda wish I had noticed the signs sooner. While I was embraced by one group, I was being excluded from others and didn’t even know it.
I donno man, live your life the way you want.
Look at this red neck hick over here drinking cheap beer who things he’s a god because people tolerate him enough to use him for his tiny island of knowledge around cnc machines.
The only line of work he can maintain because the machine doesn’t judge him for his horrendous stench and ogre like appearance.
Even if we put aside the poor taste jokes and insults, sharing private conversations like what OP said his friend did is wrong and especially shitty since their purpose was to mock the other person
Can I ask if you are part of a group that regularly gets belittled, made fun of, or generally disrespected? Do you embrace those jokes and stereotypes that are at your expense and laugh along with them such as “That is TOTALLY us! We are crappy just like that meme says!”?
You are ignoring the bit where this was a private conversation. They wouldn’t need to laugh along with jokes at their expense because, in the context you are discussing, they would never even be aware that the jokes were made.
My question is not contextualized against the original example in this thread. You’re welcome to create your own line of questions to them if you like.
I think you forgot the part where they passed around nudes of partners. W/o consent.
Post LITERALLY said they DID NOT do such a thing.
the post literally says no nudes??? Are you dumb or stupid? I can’t tell.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, but you have a choice to mock / belittle other people and their issues or not to. You may get repercussions for joking about sensitive topics like these people did, but that’s not really the point.
There are no prizes for choosing not to use dark humor beyond personally knowing you may have spared someone a little bit of suffering. If that matters to you, take it into consideration. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too… I just advise you to remember your choice, why you took it and observe how it makes you feel and what it makes you become.
And there are all kinds of shades of gray here, too. You can joke around once in a while if you want to, but extreme attitudes tend to cause extreme consequences.
And just to be clear, I’m not claiming to be an example of anything. I used to be the dudes Derek hung out with. Hell, i still am if you catch me on a bad day. Just sharing what I feel those decisions taught me.
Whatever you choose, hope it’s for the best.
If I had to explain some of my in-group chats, it would be complicated and awkward, but not life-destroying.
Well.
Depends on how fash the US turns for me
just dont admit to them?
I think my saved memes are 50/50 funny and concerning
The thing is, on Lemmy these are pretty normal… but for my very conservative grandma who hardly understands what a lesbian is…
What’s the first one?
Scissoring (a common sesbian lex position)
But why the Bible idk what reference?
A reference to the „biblically accurate angel“ meme, which is a bit hard to describe so I recommend just looking it up at seeing the pictures to get the reference
Biblically accurate angles are nightmare fuel.
Angels described in the bible aren’t people with pretty bird wings. They are oscillating, intersecting ribbons of eyes and feathers, pulsing and shifting and glowing.
Here is an example:
…in movies
You just concentrated 4 top tier shitposts into a single comment.
Im pretty sure that pipeline meme is depicting my nibling.
What’s a nibling?
Gender nuetral term for offspring of my sibling.
Thank you!
Not to disrespect if that’s what your relative prefers, but nibling is actually the gender neutral for niece/nephew. Sibling is already gender neutral as sister/brother are the gendered terms.
that’s what they said, offspring of sibling
Did you just “actually” me without reading my comments? Go back and try again, this time assume I used the exact words I meant to use.
Yeah I misread it, I’m not sure such an aggressive response was warranted but thank you for letting me know.
Me and my buddy have the nuke thing going. Mutually assured destruction 😎
Derek sounds like a cool guy.
Invasion of privacy, not cool
If you think someone is shit don’t screenshot a bunch of chats, just leave and tell people you saw stuff you didn’t like
What about the people on the group chat who were disrespecting other people’s right to privacy by sharing private mesaages and pictures? It’s cool when they do it?
It’s not cool when anyone does it
Tell those particular people. Maybe screenshot those particular messages as proof. But don’t publicly share everything.
See, you misunderstand. You must either be enraged that there was a snitch, or uphold them as a paragon of justice. There is no nuance on the internet. Silly person.
Derek sounds like a snitch
Good. Don’t be an asshole to your friends behind their backs. That’s trashy behavior, and you deserve to lose your friends if you do it.
Nothing in the OP suggests that anyone was being an asshole to Derek in particular.
Oh, I don’t think they’re taking about Derek…
Well I apologize if I misunderstood
seriously jesus fucking christ what about this in particular is making it such a good litmus test to root out shitty people? they’re all just immediately, unironically, unabashedly identifying themselves in the comments here, just like that lmfao.
absolute trash is absolute trash ig.
derek sounds like a dick.
What you do in private does not necessarily reflect who you are in public. And who you are in public, does not necessarily reflect who you are in private either.
lmfao what a fucking excuse of a reason. i hope you know i hate you. not hyperbole. i hope everyone else knows i hate you too. like genuinely, and actually; blatantly being a terrible person like you are is a large part of what is wrong with the world and i despise every single one of you chucklefucks that inches us ever further away from common decency, day by day. life isnt some fucking game.
do you recognize you’re doing olympic level mental gymnastics in order to make the people you identify with in the internet story the good guys or are you just incredibly dense and/or like fucking with people for kicks?
deleted by creator
TRUE
i despise every single one of you chucklefucks that inches us ever further away from common decency, day by day.
i hope you know i hate you. not hyperbole. i hope everyone else knows i hate you too. like genuinely, and actually
Calm down and look in the mirror. You’re part of the problem
no actually, i’m done sitting and acting like that sort of shit is acceptable, no thanks.
paradox of tolerance demands you completely and decisively shut these fucks down before they takeover your society with their shitty ass rhetoric of hate. i’d rather it begin and end here on a dinky little internet forum than 15 years down the line in another gettysburg. i won’t aid and abet in the breakdown of common norms and decency, as you so kindly suggested.
bro holy shit i just stated my opinion and i’m being nuremberg’d now lmao.
Paradox of tolerance demands nothing, it is a concept that suggests some level of intolerance is required to protect overall tolerance. I don’t think it even applies here since those guys weren’t being intolerant, just despicable among themselves.
Methinks you picked that up as a buzzword to indicate and justify any time you think intolerance is called for, which is unnecessary in this case because they’re just being vile assholes that you can choose to scorn.
nope. i know what i said and i meant it.
they start like this. then they become shitty, abusive incels in adulthood. then they vote for people like the cadre of neofascist in western politics rn.
the incel to fascist pipeline is real and dangerous. and i won’t act like those who fall down it are victims and not complicit monsters anymore.
i know what i said and i meant it.
Then you’re just wrong, sorry sporto
I agree with your sentiment, but common decency has never existed. I hope you realize that
this is a fair point, i don’t disagree. it’s valid to call me out on conflating ideas of common decency with absolute morality.
that said, there are certain things that if you do; definitely make you a bad person. i think to the recently viral tweet of the ivy league ethics & philosophy professor who was absolutely aghast at incoming students’ ideas of morality. it speaks to the problem in this thread.
Is this a copypasta?
Gonna share this again.
This commenter said it best:
To the people who think what OP did was completely normal and something everyone does, (and I hate to use this phrase) check the “ratio” here. Nobody thinks this is normal. You and OP are in the slim minority spewing vile shit about people in your lives. It’s cruel and childish. You’d be smart to learn from OP’s predicament before you find yourself in the exact same situation with everyone you know hating you because you thought it was perfectly normal to constantly trash talk them behind their back. It’s not normal. Not everyone is doing it. Assholes like OP and apparently yourself are doing it. And it clearly can bite you in the ass. As I said in my initial comment, these kinds of things can have serious real world consequences. So you may wanna wise up and start being a respectable human being ;)
my only disagreement is that unfortunately they’ve succeeded in pushing the overton window so hard that the ratio is actually much more controversial than the comment implies. if only every edgelord here read and seriously considered this person’s reply.
damn bro, that’s crazy.
Unfortunately i will sleep well knowing that i don’t engage in shitty behavior with people, and that i just simply do not care about shit like this that much.
do you recognize you’re doing olympic level mental gymnastics throughout these comments in order to make the people you identify with in the internet story the good guys or are you just incredibly dense and/or like fucking with people for kicks?
i don’t like anybody here, all of these people sound like assholes, some of them stuck up their own asses, others a bit too unfiltered for their own good. But we also don’t know the full extent of the conversation and fallout from this, so who knows what actually happened.
Regardless if derek wanted to make the point that these people weren’t great, he didn’t need to leak messages, especially not 5 year old ones. He put as much effort as possible into destroying this friend group, and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is regular behavior from him. People like that use it to their advantage, only to fuck over people later in their lives by doing the same shit lmao.
Anybody willing to without permission leak shit like is asking for trouble, legally or not.
This was not private. This was a group of assholes laughing behind their friends’ backs at their expense. It was secret, but not private.
was the entire “secret” group chat dedicated to making fun of people though? That’s the thing we don’t know, it just seems like a fairly active, long running group chat, with a number of distasteful posts made over time.
If you have a secret group chat where you make fun of your friends behind their backs, then you’re an awful piece of shit. I don’t care if it’s not solely dedicated to making fun of people. If you do it enough that your friend group ostracizes you when they find out, then you deserve to be ostracized. Why are you defending this behavior? Do you do this?
bro i make fun of my friends in public. I don’t talk to people unless it’s a group. Simple as.
If it’s ok for me to be harsh with people in public, i see no reason to stop being harsh with them in private, assuming it meets those boundaries.
That is a very pedantic response.
But makes a very big difference. Talking bad things about someone publicly is not okay, and the whistleblower is doing the right thing. Well, mostly. It’s not really cool that now the private messages are shared with even more people!
Talking about anything privately is a private discussion and as such, not a huge problem. Sharing someone’s private messages with a group with more than two or three members is already public to an extent.
Realistically I don’t think we have enough information to judge fairly. The person is probably minimising what they did, and if that is the case may well have deserved it. But we don’t actually know what was said.
that is true, but i think this is a definite “everybody sucks” type of post.
I’m also not sure that derek needed to leak this either, especially going back like 5 years, that’s pretty unhinged. Even a “yeah i don’t like those guys i joined the group chat and it was 💀” is going to be enough to clue most people in.
That is possible too, it depends what was said.
- Hey guys check out this slut I just shagged all night!
- Started talking to this girl. Here is the chat, what should I say?
- Just started using Tinder, matched with this girl. Meeting her tonight!
yeah, it could be literally any flavor. It’s hard to know form the context provided.
I suddenly feel better about my group chats, it’s all gay memes, positivity and anti-capitalist revolution.
Same, are we in the same group chat??
Naw, I only just got my pals into Lemmy. Glad to know there are other havens out there, though.
Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism
Can’t have my group chats leaked if I don’t have any!
Thanks for that comparison :(
Sorry, I’m 100% sure you are a much better person than Musk.
Friends can be hard.
I saw your comment and though of this meme I saw in a thread about the Signal group chat about bombing people in Yemen.
Disappearing messages people!
