• Wizzard@lemm.ee
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    7 days ago

    The opening scene to Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation gives me work anxiety, with the Jeremy Renner as the manager who is shouting at the two people doing the work to work faster (repeatedly) and giving them directions but has no understanding of what they are doing. Then Cruise sweeps in with a new directive and it takes a few tries to get right, under an absurd deadline.

  • umbraroze@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I once read about Andy Warhol’s film Empire and thought it could form a decent stylistic background for a movie about your average programmer’s work day.

    One continuous 8 hour shot of a programmer sitting by a computer, slowly scrolling through a code, pausing for a long time to stare at particular sections, and occasionally saying “why the fuck doesn’t this work?”

  • Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    I absolutely hate project managers. In my almost decade of IT work, every PM I’ve ever dealt with was garbage. They have no idea what is going on, and then ask an ass load of questions at the end of the meeting about things that were already covered. Useless.

    • kubica@fedia.io
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      9 days ago

      Why won’t you sprint the sprint so we can get more sprints in the sprint?

      • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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        8 days ago

        Someone watching Silicon Valley could be forgiven for coming away with the impression that most software developers spend 90% of their time screwing around waiting for solutions to unexpected bullshit interruptions…

        So yeah, pretty accurate.

  • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    When a team of programmers is left to their own devices, they too screw shit up. They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

    I watch scope creep and lack of organizational planning from both programmers and managers. It’s all personality issues.

    I also don’t believe anyone actually follows or knows what agile is (not saying I do either). Everyone on every team at every place sure talks about it, but it doesn’t seem like anyone actually does it. These are all just labels for “we adapted as we went.”

    • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      They all do things in their own way and argue over what is best, and often fail to see the bigger picture.

      It sounds like your programming team is missing a senior engineer/director of engineering. You need an engineer who has the experience to see the big picture, architect solutions, and tell the team what’s what.

    • spacecadet@lemm.ee
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      9 days ago

      Found the PM/TPM. The best software was written without Agile and PMs/TPMs. It’s only after software becomes successful that the need is felt for that stuff.

      The world runs on open source software and I don’t know of a single open source project that uses Agile or PMs/TPMs.

      • azertyfun@sh.itjust.works
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        8 days ago

        What? I’m not privy to RedHat/IBM/Google’s internal processes but they are all massive FOSS contributors at least some of which I assume are using Agile internally. The Linux kernel is mostly corpo-backed nowadays.

        The development cycle of FOSS is highly compatible with Agile processes, especially as you tend towards the Linux Kernel style of contributing where every patch is expected to be small and atomic. A scrum team can 100% set as a Sprint Goal “implement and submit patches for XYZ in kernel”.

        Also agile ≠ scrum. If you’re managing a small github project by sorting issues by votes and working on the top result, then congratulations, you’re following an ad-hoc agile process.

        I think what you’re actually mad at is corporate structures. They systematically breed misaligned incentives proportional to the structure’s size, and the top-down hierarchy means you can’t just fork a project when disagreements lead to dead ends. This will be true whether you’re doing waterfall or scrum.

      • callouscomic@lemm.ee
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        9 days ago

        Not a PM. But please, keep trying with stereotypical internet replies.

        Most PM’s seem to be idiots too and their approaches are all subjective.

        • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          A development philosophy that nobody understands, or actually follows, but every company insists on using, even when it’s a poor fit for their projects.

        • Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          8 days ago

          A family of software development processes for teams, which focuses on cycles of quickly building and delivering smaller blocks of program functionally (often just a single program feature - say: “search customers by last name” - or just part of a feature) to end-users so as to get quick feedback from those users of the software, which is then is use to determining what should be done for subsequent cycles.

          When done properly it addresses the issues of older software development processes (such as the Waterfall process) in siuations where the users don’t really have a detailed vision of what the software needs to do for them (which are the most usual situations unless the software just helps automates their present way of doing things) or there are frequent changes of what they need the software to do for them (i.e. they already use the software but frequently need new software features or tweaks to existing features).

          In my own career of over two decades I only ever seen it done properly maybe once or twice. The problem is that “doing Agile” became fashionable at a certain point maybe a decade ago and pretty much a requirement to have in one’s CV as a programmer, so you end up with lots of teams mindlessly “doing Agile” by doing some of the practices from Agile (say, the stand up meeting or paired programming) without including other practices and elements of the process (and adjusting them for their local situation) thus not achieving what that process is meant to achieve - essentially they don’t really understand it as a software development process which is more adequate for some situations and less for others and what it actually is supposed to achieve and how.

          (The most frequent things not being done are those around participation of the end-users of the software in evaluating what has been done in the last cycle, determining new features and feature tweaks for the next cycle and prioritizing them. The funny bit is that these are core parts of making Agile deliver its greatest benefits as a software development process, so basically most teams aren’t doing the part of Agile that actually makes it deliver superior results to most other methods).

          It doesn’t help that to really and fully get the purpose of Agile and how it achieves it, you generally need to be at the level of experience at which you’re looking at the actual process of making software (the kind of people with at least a decade of experience and titles like Software Architect) which, given how ageist a lot of the Industry is are pretty rare, so Agile is usually being done by “kids” in a monkey-sees-monkey-does way without understanding it as a process, hence why it, unsurprising, has by now gotten a bit of a bad name (as with everything, the right tool should be used for the right job).

          • wpb@lemmy.world
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            8 days ago

            Thank you for your detailed reply! It also helps explain the cynicism in the other two replies a bit.

        • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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          9 days ago

          A race to accrue as much technical debt as quickly as possible by focusing stricty on individual features while ignoring the long term ramifications of design decisions.

          /s

    • Corbin@programming.dev
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      9 days ago

      I was going to bring this one up. The least realistic part of Antitrust is how the antagonist is defeated, but the parts where somebody is impatiently waiting for javac to finish so that they can pack their .class files into a JAR, or typing in a list of IPv4 addresses one-by-one to see which one works, were painfully plausible.

    • fishos@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      It’s definitely satire, but I feel Silicon Valley did a decent job. Yes they absolutely made things up, but it was more about the backend and pushing updates and servers being erased because someone accidentally sat a drink on a keyboard.

      • Squibbles@lemmy.ca
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        9 days ago

        In an interview about silicon valley the creators said they interviewed a lot of people in the industry and had to actually cut out a bunch of stuff because it wouldn’t be believable by people outside the industry. One small example was the valuation. The VC people they talked to said pied piper would have gotten a lot more money than what ended up being in the show

        • fishos@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          Yeah, you can definitely tell the show was filtered through the lense of “what will the average person understand”. I just appreciated the focus on actually building something vs just seeing the business side of it.

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in this Excel spreadsheet on Teams. Be sure to update it regularly…”

    15 mins later.

    Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Azure DevOps. Be sure to update it regularly…”

    15 mins later.

    Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in Smartsheet. Be sure to update it regularly…”

    15 mins later.

    Proj. Mgr: “We’re tracking our development work in ServiceNow Virtual Taskboard. Be sure to update it regularly…”

  • Affidavit@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    “Quick! Hurry! Scrum! 5 minute stand up team! We need to sort this crisis out NOW!”

    “Joe! The building is on fire! Move! RUN!”

    “No! We need to have a meeting first! SCRUM! STAND UP! AGILE! SILICON VALLEY!!!1!!!1!! When is the next sprint!?”


    Looking for a passionate, motivated team member to be part of a newly refreshed team created to replace an unsuccessful team (RIP) promoting our incredibly competitive product!

    • You must have at least 40 years experience working with Windows 11.
    • GENEROUS remuneration package!*
    • You need to be able to work 26 hours a day 9 days per week.
    • You will need to bring PASSION! ENTHUSIASM! EXCITEMENT! [synonym not found]!, and GRIT!

    *as we are a small start up, we can’t afford to pay wages, but when we are successful, we promise to write your name somewhere on an archived version of our website.

  • Valmond@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Some people like happy movies, some like action movies or horror movies even!

    I like frustrating movies.

  • Anticorp@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    PM: “Hey, I know you said it’ll be done in a week, and you need me to stay out of your way so you can focus, but it’s been 7 hours and I was wondering if you have an update for me. Can you create a report that outlines what you’ve done, what is remaining, and precisely when each step will be finished so that I can pester you about each step throughout the development process, interrupting your productivity? It makes me feel like I’m contributing.”