so this happened to me yesterday, i was hanging out with a few of my relatives and we were doing a lot of stuff and we were having fun but i realized that when my relatives talk to each other they talk like proper adults because well, they are, like, they can swear and stuff, but when i talk to them they are like “yea buddy sure!!” or talk to me like as if i was some sort of young person, and even my friends do that same thing, all of them!!! it feels like i’m not part of anyone’s conversation which sucks but well it’s fine!!!
There are various reasons people may treat you as if you’re younger. I would bet the primary reason is no matter how much you think you’ve grown up, those changes have to be seen outwardly for a while before people that knew you as a kid will accept it. It took until 24 or 25 before I felt people had stopped treating me with kid hands. Keep in mind as well that as people get older, younger people start blending together a bit and a 20 year old does not seem as mature from a 30-40’s perspective. It’s similar to how younger people often have a hard time telling apart old people’s ages and they all seem “old”. The final point I’d make is that swearing isn’t something all adults do and is not related to maturity. It can be a sign of familiarity between certain people though. Swearing around family members is either something that comes with time or never, really depends on your parents/relatives.
Trying to push these issues in an “I’m a big boy now!” manner will generally backfire and get you treated young for longer, because it’s a very childish thing to do. I am not all-knowing so I don’t like giving absolute advice, but personally I think the best thing you can do is not worry so much about it and continue acting in a responsible manner. If you show yourself to be mature, others will realise and treat you as such. If they don’t then either you’re not as mature as you think or you should find someone who you can have a more level conversation with. It’s not so bad being young, anyway, “the grass is always greener” and you will miss it when people always look at you like an adult!
You probably don’t mention taxes and stocks enough.
Also, phrases like “back in the day” and “in my youth days” help.
When you are with people in person, try to sit straight and when standing/walking try to look like a superhero all times.
My oldest daughter is 21, but she’s still “one of the kids”.
I know she’s an adult now and will be finishing college next year, and out loving her own life very soon, but she’s still my child. Even though you can go do anything an adult can do, you are still the same “child” that you’re family has known since you were born. It’s going to take time for them to get used to that.
Legally, turning 18 instantly makes you an adult, but it’s going to take a lot longer than that for other people to realize it.
Also, early twenty something’s ARE still kids. Very few people that age have actually “grown up”.
41 year old here. Can confirm. I remember being 18 in my first apartment. I also remember doing a ton of stupid kid shit. My dad gave us a cucumber on our first night. Despite having no food in the house and a combined $6 between my girlfriend and I, we instead took that cucumber and hit it over my friends back so it broke in 2. Don’t worry, he was part of it. It’s not like I just randomly attacked my friend with vegitables. It was like the christening of a ship. Where they break a bottle of champaigne over the front. And then we all cheered…and then laughed, as my friend was still in deep pain.
41 now. 18 year old me was a stupid kid.
I don’t know your situation, but I’ve noticed that people tend to do this to people who act immaturely. Your writing style, especially the use of 3 exclamation marks per sentence seems quite childish. If you talk in a similar way, that might have something to do with it.
!!!
/j
‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’ – Terry Pratchett in Eric
ok, being honest here.
i remember you from a while back (old posts) and being straight up, you do seem kinda young and childlike. I do not know how old you really are, but if i was guessing, 14-16.
ok thanks, but i’m 21 yep!!
It’s really hard to give you any advice if we don’t know you. It’d really require a longer conversation talking about you and your life, the situations you’ve been in, and so on.
If you’d like, we could have that conversation, just tell me.
That may be your physical age, but the way you type and act online your mental age seems way younger.
no please don’t!!
I have a master II equivalent in material science and a specialization in nuclear reactors, 33 years.
The difference between being* a child or not, as I learned, is the facial hair.
Jokes aside, people perception of you depends strongly on the way you interact with them.
I deadass have been ID’d a single time since growing a beard- when I decided to try shaving it. It’s real lol.
The way the post is written reads like something written by someone in that age range too.
I’m leaning towards a thought experiment bot at this point.
While I cant rule it out with chat GPT and AI the way it is today, I remember some of the posts they have made in other communities I’m in and I’m leaning to human. I recognize the writing style on multiple accounts, its unique for sure
Think of the people who seem to do this to you. Pick the one who trust the most. Now ask them.
How much of an age gap is there? Do you look young? How do you act?
most of the people i know are my same age or just a few years older, a very good friend of mine is 19 tho, and yea i think i look young, and i act ok, no swearing, stuff like that
I think I covered this the last time you posted, but swearing isn’t a sign of maturity. It’s generally a sign of limited vocabulary.
Also, “being treated like a child” is an interesting statement. I know I tend to go into any conversation with someone of ANY age treating them like they may be totally ignorant of the topic at hand, but are likely bright enough to pick it up pretty quickly. Age rarely factors into it.
But if someone appears to be attention seeking and inauthentic, pretending they know things/people they don’t, and trying to act how they think someone else wants them to act instead of just being themselves… that’s when the “OK buddy” comes out. It means “I’ve discovered I can’t have a real conversation with you and you’ve used up my patience to coach you along.”
I think I covered this the last time you posted, but swearing isn’t a sign of maturity. It’s generally a sign of limited vocabulary.
You may need to reconsider this view. One example (there are others):
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S038800011400151X
You are one of the very few users here on Lemmy I recognize, and it is not because you’ve been posting very intelligent things. In fact you posted this exact question once already (but seem to have deleted it by now).
I remember being 21 and I was more mature at 21 than you appear to be based on your post and comment history here, in fact I think I was more mature than you are now at around 14.
yes, i posted it again but that’s because i feel like i deleted it too soon, also really?? more mature at 14?? woa!! yea!! that seems like a very cool thing
You speak and act like a 13 year old trying to be a “mature adult”.
Also the idea of deleting a post then going oh whoops I wanted more feedback on that let me make another just seems odd. Like just make a post once and leave it, delete it if you get harrasedd about it I guess but don’t go making a new one in that case.
I don’t know how it happens, but I agree with you. I don’t know how I’m able to recognize more users on Lemmy than on Reddit by how spammy their genuine posts and comments are.
I’ve blocked more people on Lemmy than on Reddit.
this sounds a bit harsh, but look at OPs history and its actually true.
If you want to appear older online you should write properly. Proper capitalisation and sentences make your text easier to read. As it is they look like an uninterrupted stream of consciousness.
This might also help you offline. Try to structure your thoughts before giving them to the world. This takes time but should go a long way on making you seem like you got your shit together.
I subconsciously skipped the entire text after a few words and didn’t even realize or think about why until I saw this comment. OPs style of writing is exhausting. If they talk like that in person, that would explain a lot.
they never used a period
Stop being a furry. Stop saying “swearing” and “like”. Stop the extra exclamation.
i will not stop being a furry, i deeply apologize. i shall stop or at least try to stop saying the word “like”. i am grateful and i appreciate it
Not that I’ve looked up your post history as well as the way you type. Everything just screams “14 y.o. girl.” There’s a lot of personality, a lot of bubbliness, everything’s "hyper. " It’s just not something you’d expect of an adult.
Adults are usually more reserved and “battle-worn.” I’d also look at the wardrobe, especially if you’re of smaller stature. Additionally, being an adult is often about taking responsibility. Sucking it up and doing the right thing, so to say. Look at how you’ve behaved in the past in difficult situations, how you’ve handled conflicts. Have you ever taken a proactive role in finding a resolution? This may also be your clue.
everything just screams “14 y.o girl” first of all i would like to tell you that i am, in fact, a 21 year old person who well, honestly i do like to type that way because 1. it makes me feel more human and definitely more connected to people and 2. it totally fosters a sense of honesty and makes me look more like a real person which, i am!!! and 3. everything’s hyper?? well i’m sorry, but what would you expect from a person that is heavily involved in cool stuff like linux and programming and ui/ux design?? everything’s gotta have some sense of coolness or radness, which i am always trying my best to give.
adults are usually more reserved and “battle-worn” i apologize for this but i won that battle a long time ago and even if i lose to life itself then i will still get up with that same energy and that’s something most people should learn about and apply to their daily lives, i really enjoy doing this and i hope everyone in the world learns how to be that truthfully. thank you.
i’d also look at the wardrobe, especially if you’re of smaller stature i am 5’10, i may have the height of a 16 year old but i am in no way a 16 year old, i’m sorry. oh and my wardrobe?? it’s full of fruit of the loom t shirts of various colors and a lot of comfy cotton pants and well that’s it.
additionally, being an adult is often about taking responsibility. Sucking it up and doing the right thing oh… well, i deeply apologize if i have not been doing that, but i have been doing that, i accept that i have, i’ve sucked up my pride and i have done and said the right thing, i don’t want to sound like i’m bragging because honestly there’s nothing to brag about here, but i promise you that i’ve done that and i will keep doing that. thank you so much for the advice
And here’s your other issue…
Nothing of what I said was meant as an offense. Yet you took it to hearts. That is not a response one would normally expect. It’s almost as if I’m reading a script from a teenage drama show where a character has an unresolved inner conflict. Doesn’t mean I’m correct, just some food for thought.
Your question was “why people act like I’m a kid?” I only shared my observations of why that could be the case. That doesn’t mean you need to change anything. Not if you yourself are ok with it.
Also, I was well aware you’re 21 at the moment of writing the comment. Yet again, I’m merely answering your question, I really don’t mean anything beyond what is written. I’m not judging, no nothing, everything I write should be read in as neutral tone as possible.
The rest was me speculating. Those aren’t the questions you should be answering to me, only to yourself. After all, a random stranger on the internet can only do so much, you’re the only one who can answer your own question. Best I can do is point you in a direction to dig further, which those were meant for. It’s all about retrospective.
Plenty of mature adults are furries and are treated as adults. This is not helpful advice.
Stop being a furry.
Furries keep the Internet running. Anger them at your own peril.
It’s true. All the hamster furries run in big wheels to keep the tube pressure up and the packets flowing.
Your use of punctuation reminds people of when they’ve seen posts by 11-14 year olds. Do you not notice that adults in general don’t do that?
I expect if you’re unaware of something like that so immediately apparent to everyone in this thread that you may have other quirks and behaviours that strike people as childish.
If you sincerely want to change that you’re going to need to ask the frank opinion of someone who knows you in person…
Fr fr no cap
It might be the group. I worked for a place that had The A Team and everyone else. The founders of the company treated everyone else like crap.
If you talk at all like you’ve written, I would treat you like a child too.
Maturity has nothing to do with your calendar age.
From what I can tell by your posts, you are treated like a child because you talk and act like a child. Have you tried, like, growing the fuck up?
but i am growing up and besides i have no other way of talking,i’m sorry, i’m still learning too but thank you for the advice!!
“But I am growing up. And besides, I have no other way of talking, I’m sorry, I’m still learning. But thank you for the advice!”
Try this.
You should look into checking if you are autistic. We get infantilized a lot
i did get checked that before but they said no, no autism for me!!
