I spent this week searching for Christmas gifts. It’s cold outside and I suddenly had this thought that everyone in my family plus my friends are getting tan colored jackets with hoods. It just came to me out of the blue.
To celebrate, I went on a (buying) spree on a rented e-bike today!
(Unfortunately it’s a bit costly around here)
My very large sample of Facebook posts from people who had their claims denied by United Healthcare I made today.
Wake the fuck up, samurai. We’ve got a CEO to ventilate.
“to ventilate/was ventilated” is what im gonna use from now on thank you its genious
Such a tragic loss! He’s going to miss those dictionary bullets! Each bullet comes with one word written on it…live, life, laugh are probably still I’m the barrel
I can’t wait for some kind of cyberpunk asshole nuke to blow up the pentagon in the next episode of reality
Nah, they need to do it at Black Rock HQ.
Alexa, Play The Rebel Path(Cello Version)
I’m out of the loop. Please, explain.
American hero, Agent 47/John Wick/etc, shot the CEO of United Healthcare and killed him at 7am in front of the Hilton Hotel in Manhattan.
He had “Deny, Defend, Depose” carved into the shell casings of the spent cartridges he used to kill the parasite.
He then rode away on an E-Bike and hasn’t been seen since.
As an aside, another proposed moniker for this hero is “Lancelot”, as he has clearly slain a dragon. Three cheers for the Dragonslayer!
Don’t insult dragons by comparing them to a fuckin health insurance exec!
I’m speaking, of course, of greedy, wealth hoarding dragons like Smaug. Who would slaughter an entire mountain of Dwarves to get his claws on wealth he will never spend, just to have it.
His name is Spartacus.
I am Spartacus.
Copayback. I’ve never smiled as much as I have today. Random Shooter can have anything he wants or needs from me, an alibi, a bike rental, a kidney.
Tying a gift card to a balloon and writing a note to go with it “God bless the CEO slayer”
That video is just so wonderful. He executes him so smoothly, hardly moving, and leaves with a smile. I love it.
The more often I see this fact, the more I realize that none if it is satire
Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now. If putin got smashed between a large truck and another large truck or by some other means like a large steel plate, everyone would be more than ecstatic. I would do a little dance myself. So I think we should just not try to figure out who did this too hard. It just happens sometimes. Right?
Cuz nobody figures out who denied your claim when your dad had to die right? Where’s the justice there? This is it! This is the justice. Don’t want it? Well then implement a better way to get justice. As, is, this is great.
Cuz nobody figures out who denied your claim when your dad had to die right?
This is part of the hell that we live in.
If you have a complaint about any corporation, you can’t do anything about it. They all run phone trees designed to waste your time and make it impossible to reach anyone who can actually do anything. They pay call center workers in India nothing to take the frustration which should be directed at the C-suites.
We live in a world with zero accountability for anyone with a sizable bank account.
Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now.
I think he should have demonstrated the use of that metal tube he wanted to use as a rescue sub to rescue those kids in the thai cave. Best way to demonstrate its safe is to go into it yourself.
Or he could use a pseudonym and work remote from one of the companies he owns and see how long he lasts as a worker. He thinks he can judge other peoples code? lets see his medicore bitchass show up and show us all how its done.
That guy sucks.
Maybe he could go get the remains of the Titan. Who knows what we could learn from that.
Come now. Everyone knows pootin doesn’t like heights or falling out windows
Oh that’s right! He loves the planet. I wish to offer him a planet hug from 7 stories away.
If somehow Trump died because of a stupid mistake on his part I’d take the rest of the week off and dance like it’s THON
THON
The Happiest of Nights?
Nah, Thick Hippies of Norway.
Thick Hippies of Norway.
*sigh <switches websites>
A dance-for-charity event at The Pennsylvania State University whose name I personally haven’t heard in a minute
Hey gun crime is just a reality we have to live with, according to the Republicans in Congress. So I don’t see any reason to make a big fuss just because this rich bastard accidentally feel into some bullets, instead of the usual bunch of innocent children or random black person the cops decided to shoot while face down and in handcuffs. No, I’m sure the police have much more serious police matters to attend to, like civil forfeiture on somebody carrying a large amount of cash or selling appropriated weapons to drug cartels.
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Yes cause “guy who deleted your comment” is just as bad as “guy who’s policies literally kill people”.
Shut up troll
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Impossible. This would require Internet mods to leave their house.
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People got so hung up on cool cyberware and Johnny Silverhand that they completely forgot Cyberpunk was a warning.
who wouldn’t want to have e-narrator Keanu in their mind sarcastically commenting their every move ? I’ve already preordered
Look Mom, I’m on the top of Arasaka tower.
Did they put that in the game? If they did that is almost certainly a tip of the hat to Rico Rodriguez, from the Just Cause series
I think it’s from Edgerunners.
Ok, well then Edgerunners seems to be giving Rico a nod. That show came out decades after Just Cause, where if you manage to get to the highest point on any of the four maps, Rico says “Look Ma! Top of The World!” in JC1 and all subsequent games the line was, “Look Ma! Top of The World! … … again.”
Oh, they’re both quoting James Cagney in White Heat from 1949.
His defence will be that his Cyberdyne nanotech brain implants malfunctioned.
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On it.
There was that story about a robot dog advertising drugs in Moscow, and it apparently started to delete all of its storage and stuff when the police took it in.
It was carrying bags of “drugs”, but they were fake last I heard. Either an expensive prank or a test run.
Dude, where’s the drywall bag I ordered!!! That dam dog!
Drive-by e-scooter shootings have been a thing here in Sweden, which I firmly place in the same cyberpunk bucket.
Shootings can’t happen in Europe
They frown on that sort of thing
Not only that…
Damn. Guess I’ll have to find another career path.
In eastern cultures they have a concept which, when translated, is called “the law.” “The law” is about defining a set of rules to encourage people to behave in a way that is more appropriate for society.
That’s crazy, it would never work here
Sounds like socialism either way, and my wise elected leaders said that’s bad.
Damn, you beat me to it.
Sound logic
Not in America. Apparently if you’re a criminal in America you can run for president!
America has a strange relationship with the law. We both idealize and despise crime. Crime now is bad and scary (unless it’s your guys), but a lot of people will brag about their ancestors being criminals (especially mobsters). So you sometimes wind up with people who brag about being descended from mafiosos, listening to 90s gangster rap, and fearmongering about MS-13.
Checks notes
I think you mean be president.
This is America
Swede here, yeah they absolutely can.
Russian assault group making u-turn on their electrical scooters
Nah, they happen. Just at way, way lower rates than in the U.S.
Well, they’re illegal there aren’t they?
They do
No it’s illegal!
In Sweden, it’s forbidden by law to be a criminal.
