USA is really quite safe, just remember to not be black or a woman

Oh and wear a ballistics vest if you’re going anywhere near a school

That’s not true, my laptop is friends with Mark
Though i think it’s because they were manufactured in the same factory, so i guess they’re family so that doesn’t count

“Design is fine, is just user error”
- every designer ever

- Guitar Solo

There’s only one explanation

Hey don’t slutshame, let’s keep this a hotplug-positive community

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”

• mushrooms

As someone still laying in bed, scrolling Lemmy instead of doing chores

In stasis, it bends but won’t break us
Aurelia, majestic as a lion’s roar embodies her
Terranean, threaten and shield us
Endanger, recoil and rewind the tapes
She’s born again
[…]
Medusa, a haunting allure
Elusive ectoplasmic residue
She’ll dance for you
Inducing hydro-cosmic dreams in you
Of eternal blue

Please don’t pull it out, it’s a load-bearing fork

Doesn’t matter to reddit as long as the advertisers still pay them though

Ok Boomer

I’ll have the time of my life now so i can rub it in the face of future me!

Yes

Ah that’s why i couldn’t relate to it, I’ve only ever had 54 gallon drums of solvents in my lab

“did you pack this bag yourself?”
“Yes?”
“Then is there a tactical nuclear warhead in the left pocket?”
“Ah shucks”

Oh i was already doing one of those actually

I’m outside, holding my phone to scroll Lemmy, without gloves

I can with absolute confidence tell you that the coldest thing in the known universe is not some quantum chip, it’s my fingers

Oh hi Wendy did you know this is a crunch Santa Cecilia granite benchtop? crunch crunch

You don’t even need substances, if you just lie down for a while you’ll black out for like 8 hours

Less reliable but way cheaper than chemical blackouts