• WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        There’s no doubt that he would.

        The makeup would at least be competently applied, and I’ve got to assume less fluorescent with none of the screaming contrast against the sickly transparent, veiny white skin of an octogenarian fuelled by hamberders, covefe, and hate - particularly for kamabla.

      • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Like Frank in the “Frank’s Little Beauties” episode. He just needs a song about not diddling kids.

      • Makeitstop@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        That’s not fair. Liches are smart and competent, and had to earn their position through hard work and dedication.

        • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Oh, now I have an idea for a new BBEG: A lich that got to their position by taking advantage of their privilege and refuses to acknowledge it.

          Definitely should be fully fleshed out (no pun intended) by flavoring with historical Trump actions like blaming minorities for everything (“that jogger was violently assaulted by these 5 goblins that simply happen to be nearby”), refusing to pay contractors for services rendered (“great job building my phylactery, it would be a shame if you got deported before I paid you”), using populist rhetoric to blame progressives for the problems caused by capitalism (“Minions, I know your wages are low, but it’s those adventurers fault for donating gold to the orphanage and causing all this inflation”). When he flees the adventurers, they could be slowed by a magical spell called “malicious litigation” that functions like a web spell on anyone who is not of noble birth.

          Minions could also include a ghoul as diplomatic envoy whose hair dye leaks and who accidentally books an event at Four Seasons Total Castle Care and several half-ogre sons who think they are going to inherit his lichdom but are too dumb to see they’re first on the chopping block when the chips are down.

      • jaemo@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        That fucker has zero clue in the art of crafting a phylactery.

        No, his intolerance and ignorance suggests this is the work of horcruxes, which require far less intelligence to conceive of (in a literary sense) and create.