I thought about all the historic events this turtle witnessed and then I remembered he is a turtle
…and will die 29 years after second civil war or what will be better known as failed MAGA uprising of the the mad orange king.
Racist-ass, capitalist turtle.
He benefits from the labor of the working of the working class
Naw. He just enjoys lettuce and is chill.
Don’t tell the republicans, they might nominate him for president…
Jonathan would draw yuge crowds.
wikipedia:
“His age is estimated because he was “fully mature” when brought to Saint Helena in 1882. “Fully mature” means at least 50 years old, giving him a hatching date no later than 1832.[8] A photograph featuring Jonathan originally thought to date from 1902 actually dates from 1886,[2] showing Jonathan four years after his arrival on Saint Helena. Measurements taken from the photograph show that he was fully mature in 1886.[citation needed]”
Well you did in fact check the facts.
In December 2015, the St Helena vet Joe Hollins said that Jonathan was “alive and well […] He’s blind from cataracts, has lost his sense of smell, and so cannot detect food (his fellow giants mug him and can detect the tiniest morsel dropped on the ground), but he has retained excellent hearing.”[1]
I think “well” is a bit of an overstatement tbh…
I think it’s more of a “he’s alive, and, well…” situation
Good point! Now let’s eat Grandma!
Why are abolishing slavery and establishing the Federal Reserve being treated as if they’re equivalently bad when they are very much not? This meme is subtly pushing a gold bug/crypto bro agenda.
Cause Libertarians gonna libertary?
I also enjoy spreading libertarian propaganda
the fed makes us all slaves. chattel slavery was definitely worse tho
Gonna show your work or…?
i know what i have to do. I’m just not sure I’m brave enough for the downvotes 0_o
Well, you already got them aplenty, so why not go all the way? Maybe people’l change their mind!
Downvotes literally don’t affect your life at all so bravery really doesn’t come into it.
Each downvote devalues the comment’s NFT. Downvotes are basically stealing.
yeah I found that a wierd combo. did he also act to try to get universal healthcare?
He’s mostly just been eating lettuce
What an ass
Johnathan shot President Garfield
He did nothing that we know of.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Here’s me at 193 years old
The 13th Amendment did not abolish slavery. It made it a punishment for a crime
No, it abolished slavery with an exception carved out for punishment for crime.
The difference is important. Saying it was “made a punishment” suggests that before the amendment that option didn’t exist. It did. The 13th amendment just clarified that that use was allowed to continue.
But, it’s also worth noting that in the late 1700s and early 1800s imprisonment was uncommon, and a lot of crimes just carried the death penalty. In England, pickpocketing more than the modern equivalent of about $40 could result in a death penalty. Same with cutting down trees, or stealing from a rabbit warren. For less serious crimes there were the stocks, whipping, and fines. England had an option that wasn’t available to the US: transportation. Australia was originally a penal colony, and the people sent there were forced to labour until their sentences were up.
Prisons (along with their work programs) were seen as a new, progressive idea that could potentially reform a prisoner, rather than just killing / punishing them.
Slavery is still the best way to make money if you own slaves. Elon Musk knows this.
Sounds like Jonathan still has a chance to redeem himself then
Why do you assume Jonathan isn’t the reason the 13th amendment doesn’t abolish slavery?
I mean, Big J IS a tortoise. I’m pretty sure he’s been working on social justice, but you know, it’s going kinda slowly.
Of course he only cares about soshell issues. Typical self-serving reptile politician.
He’s getting around to it; be patient
Oh no, it’s only a matter of time before he runs for president.
Aww, lay off Jonathan. He’s a pioneer for gay rights, which is much more than can be said for any of you lot.
Due to his advanced age, Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate, including eating, sleeping and mating… The sex of Frederica, … his companion since 1991, was cast into doubt in 2017 when island veterinarian Catherine Man indicated that due to a deformity of its plastron its sex could not be verified,[4] and is now known to be male, being renamed Frederik.
renamed Frederik.
So they didn’t just reassess the gender, but also repatriated him by naming him after the king (then crown prince) of Denmark
Typical colonialist Jonathan bullshit.
My Plastron also got deformed when I had a GI Joe guy use a hair spray bottle as a blowtorch.
Even this random as tortoise is older than the Confederacy
Well the Confederacy barely made it to 4 years old. Which explains why conservatives are creepily obsessed with it.
That’s not true. He did try to abolish slavery and stop the creation of the reserve, but tortoises move a little slower than humans do, and he just didn’t get there in time. But not for lack of trying.
