I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!
Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.
For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.
Pet peeve. Whatever three-quarters of the world seems to believe, any sewerage system can handle TP. That is: real TP has almost zero fiber integrity, it literally turns to goop on contact with water. Goop that has no more structural consistency than an average pile of sh*t. If still in any doubt then just make sure to flush it in single sheets, each one will be a pea-sized ball of goop. This misunderstanding seems to be purely cultural. I’ve been to a ton of developing countries, all with the usual dodgy sewerage systems and narrow-bore pipes. Yet only some of them, notably Latin America, have the disgusting cultural norm of TP bins. The rest understand that there is a difference between TP and paper towels designed for the kitchen and your face. TP is always flushable, by design.
And generally, baby wipes, bottom wipes and face wipes aren’t safe to flush, even if they say flushable on the package. If they were safe to flush, you wouldn’t be able to pull out a wet sheet from the package; it would be goo.
Pooping solo, a roll of TP will last me a month or two. A pack of TP will last well over a year.
Gosh, I hope everyone poops solo. 🫢
I hope that one day you too can share a connection with a special someone or someones where you never have to poop alone.
You are valuable, loveable and you deserve this
This has always disturbed me. As a non-bidet user, when I have used them (a dozen or so times) an additional final sweep has definitely been required. And yet so many bidet users are adamant everything is magically 100% clean. I now just assume they’re walking around oblivious to a spot of wet mud peppered around the rim of their margherita.
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People are different, some folks are hairy, some folks aren’t. I am unclear as to why this is “disturbing”.
My hot take is that everyone should be shaving their asshole, maybe even their crack. If your ass looks like someone slammed a wig in a suitcase, you need to trim that shit before extruding play-doh though it.
You cannot get that hair 100% clean, especially if shit dries in it.
Yeah no. Soap exists.
You wash your ass every time you take a shit, even when at work? :P
Most people shit the same time every day. If you just nudge your shit cycle to be right before your daily shower then all this hassle goes away
You bidet it clean enough, then use your hand to wash your backside, then dry.
What, and I can’t stress this enough, the fuck?
Depends on the nozzle size and whether you get one that oscillates, not all are built equally. Mine is always sparkling. Can confirm this on another person, as a corollary of dating, haha.
My bidet has enough power to strip spraypaint off concrete, lol.
Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.
Actually though, just dab with TP. You’ll use much less TP and not need “flushable” wipes that still clog your main sewage line
I know you’re joking, but i think I’d enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.
Technically, why not?
Because the butthole is sensitive and repetitive exposure to heat can cause issues.
Bumhole heatstroke is a thing. Gotta be careful.
No heat, imagine just a hand holdable blower with a complimentary vacuum to suck in everything blown away. Like at the dentist. The dentist makes a mess in your teeth while the assistant uses a little vacuum tube to clean it all up.
Got a solid chuckle out of me man, thanks. Needed that.
follow-up question. how do you deal with ice cold water in the pipes? do you have to turn on the tap every time you sit down to get the hot water going?
I bought the fancier model that can connect to the sink for hot water and never bothered setting it up, you get used to the cold water fast enough.
I honestly like it, a blast of cold water up the ass perks me up better than coffee in the mornings.
Hey there big fella.
refer to it as bracing and pretend I have a high constitution
You get used to it. Only the fancy ones have hot water at all. Cold water is just fine.
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In my experience your asshole puckering because of the winter cold water is counter productive to cleaning effectively, but If it’s the only option it’s still better than just TP. You just have to do a first dry with TP (pat don’t drag) and do a spot check at the same time. Sometimes you have to go for a second round if the spot check fails
It’s gonna depend on your preferences. Around here, the water can start out around 40ish(Fahrenheit) before it bumps up a little as the water that isn’t in the pipes exposed to the cold comes along. So we’re talking a bit cold, but not ice cold.
That’s during winter. At this time of year, the water stays around 50ish, which is quite pleasant most of the time. It feels cool, but not uncomfortable.
Obviously, the temp of the water is going to depend on what the pipes are exposed to. Around here, we have crawlspaces under houses, which means you only have a few yards of pipes exposed to the air to get cold. The rest is underground, where temps stay fairly steady. If you have more exposed piping, the duration of the cold water will be longer.
So, I don’t even use the hot water at all, despite having it as an option. The regular water temp is nice for my preferences.
Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
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Because it’s a funny haha bathroom post
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if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?
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Actually I’m a lemmy user, I use Arch btw, live in my mom’s basement, I’ve never been on a date and I never go outside. Of course I’ve never used water to bathe before.
if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?
No. The purpose of the bidet is to properly clean your posterior which cannot be achieved with toilet paper alone. Also the amount of toilet paper needed to dry is lower than the amount needed to ‘clean’
this 1000%
you use only like 1 or 2 tp (or flushable wipes) after bidet.
is way more to get less clean otherwise
No such thing as a flushable wipes. It’s just defective marketing. Plus there is no need to use one after the bidet. Toilet paper is perfectly fine to dry.
yeah they definitely need to improve degradation time, but there absolutely is reason to use them instead of TP.
I don’t use all the time but tried them during recovery based on the recommendation of the surgeon that removed my hemorrhoids.
significantly easier on the healing bum than tp was, bidet gets most of it but you’re not 100% clean every time.
(I don’t think I’ve ever not had to wipe a time or two even after lots of movement and higher pressure on bidet. wipes clean better than tp, and bidet just doesn’t get everything unless you’re one of those lucky people that wouldn’t use much tp anyway)
I’m not saying they aren’t better, what I’m saying is they aren’t flushable. If they don’t clog up your system, they fuck up your septic tank, or the city system.
If you have legitimate medical reason to use them, knock yourself out, but otherwise they should be avoided. And stop calling them flushable because they aren’t. They’re just wipes.
Tell you what. You drop a nice creamy dump on your floor, then try to get it clean with dry toilet paper. Let us know how it goes.
You don’t shit on yourself though, or at least I hope so.
You only wipe away the residue and not the entire shit
The residue of shit is still shit.
I feel like this comment could be applied in many diverse contexts.
if you have to wipe with toilet paper anyway, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a bidet?
The purpose of a bidet isn’t necessarily to make toilet paper unnecessary, it’s to clean properly. Before getting a bidet I would just step into the shower and use the removable shower head to wash my ass with a little soap and warm water, towel off after, bam super clean. I still do that, but now the bidet can save a step if I’m in a hurry.
Basically, try this experiment. (Quoted from some comedian) Smear some poop on the back of your hand. Then wipe it with dry paper and nothing else. Do you feel clean? Ready to go through the day? Of course not! You want to actually wash that off, and that’s the pleasant feeling from using a stream of water to feel thoroughly clean, not just removing residue but getting up in there into the outer wrinkles of the butthole, reduces the chance of getting the itchies later.
(This is particularly of consequence if there is ANY chance whatsoever of ending up naked with another person. You might not notice it, but other people would get hit with a musk the moment your underwear drops, and not the nice kind.)
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Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can’t even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids… do we really think they’re going to pass on useful information on self-care?
And it’s not like there’s tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it’s purely a passed-down skillset.
Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don’t wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would “make them gay.”
So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they’ve never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.
I invested in one of those super fancy “smart” toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.
I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.
Its the fanciest thing I own.
what’s on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?
I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.
Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:
- Start/Stop
- Water temperature
- Seat temperature
- Water pressure
- Angle of nozzle
- Oscillator
- Turbo mode
- Air dryer
- Deodorizer
- Children’s mode
- Women’s hygiene mode
- Default run duration timer setting
- Power save mode
The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.
Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.
- Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to
I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.
I have one too, I’m on it now.
Wipe - spray - wipe. Toilet paper is fine.
Am I doing it wrong? I just do spray - wipe.
I guess it depends on the consistency of your stool. Wouldn’t want to blast brown soup all over, y’know.
In Italy, where the bidet is its own “seat”, we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.
I bought a couple sets of washcloths that are only for drying butt. I fold them and lay them on the tank lid, and then put used ones in a little basket/bin beside the toilet. When I run out, I wash them in the laundry room. I haven’t bought toilet paper in 5 years.
I’m new to the bidet scene
OP after entering the bidet scene
spoiler
Pat dry with toilet paper
Did you dab? You have to dab!
Stop saying dab!
- The Venture Bros.
Dean, you gotta try this! It feels like a guy with a fever is yelling at my junk!
I’ve already commented this down below, so i’ll just copy paste here.
I suppose it depends if you are using it correctly or not. I’ve used a bidet all my life, and where i live bidets are a separate bowl from the toilet, made from the same materials, and virtually every household has one. I’ve never had a problem of it not cleaning enough
Afterwards i’ll just dry a bit with a towel specifically used for that
Here’s an image. You can see the bidet has a kind of jet of water coming upwards with force, exactly below where you would sit. You can regulate the intensity and if done properly you can clean yourself completely https://images.app.goo.gl/6w3EMWrAk34DBwJd7
Yeah that link is gonna stay blue.
I’m sorry, i didn’t know i could insert images directly, thanks!!
I twerk a bit over the bowl.
I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn’t always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.
Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.
This is the information we need but wouldn’t dare to ask.
Upgrade to one with power. Never look back. Automatic flush, automatic seat raise and lower with a foot sensor, uv lights inside, foam/soap dispense into the bowl before and after, all the bidet features with constant and pulsing, articulating arm, heated seat, heated blow dry air, etc. It’s absolutely amazing.
Assuming you’re in the US just because the question only seems to come up there, and for our house there we imported them from Asia for less than $1k to the doorstep. Adding a power outlet is usually easy as most washrooms in the US have an outlet somewhere.
Bidet is like going to level 100 from 5. Super automatic Asian bidet is like a level 5000.
Just to second the other guy: Link? Brand? Any info to hunt this down?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
Got a link to this black magic you speak of?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
Copying the text from another comment i made here:
I have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle
with this kind, you have 100% cleanliness since you use your hand to clean everything, and after it there’s a mini-towel for each person, usually in a towel rack near the bidet so no-one gets confused, and usually in a smaller size then normal towels.
If you’re worried about the idea of using your hand being unhygienic, rest assured, there’s a radical invention called washing your hands afterwards, which, by the way, you should do anyways even if you use toilet paper.
What the fuck.
I saw one like this at a hotel in Austria once and was trying to figure out how to use it. I couldn’t figure out how the water stream was supposed to spray and clean coming out the side like that. Do you almost lay on it, face down or on your back to get it to spray your bum clean?
It never occurred to me that the spray wouldn’t be used to clean at all.
oh no I thought this was a courtesy water bottle filler for my room 🤮
This is actually demented
People would rather have a filthy body than touch their own bumhole. I don’t get it, it is your own body, what is so icky when you are in the process of cleaning it? Would you rather live with a stinking baby with a dirty diaper, or change the diaper and have a clean space? Same thing, just deal with the thing asap and be done with it. This is why we invented soap. I swear to god this is same people who would scratch their navel then smell their fingers, or would eat earwax, but won’t touch their bums in a shower because it is gay. Guys would decry bidets but then go eat ass and pussy without a hint of self-awareness.
None of this explains why it’s not cleaner to use toilet paper than your hand after using a bidet…?
Because dry spreading your poop with toilet paper is not cleaner than washing your butt together with water.
Not what I said. Bidet + TP vs bidet + hand
No one only uses their hands guys. You use your hands in tandem with the running water to get all the shit off. Then you wipe with TP (modern) or a towel (more common before TP).
Ah, I see, I thought the bidet part only relates to your second option, there. I guess one reason to use your hands is that in some countries, toilet paper is not commonly provided, so it’s not always an option.
Yeah it would be cheaper I suppose, that’s fair
Read the comment with instructions man. Wipe with toilet paper first, as normal. Then wash with soap and water. Then dry with a towel. If you’re smearing poop all over everything you’ve got other issues to work out.
To answer your question, it is cleaner than just using toilet paper because you are wash with soap and water after you use the toilet paper. If you manage to get poop all over the towel when you’re done washing, then TP alone was never going to suffice.
You don’t use your hand afterwards, you use your hand to wash along with the bidet, then you dry with TP or a towel. It is not demented. It is just washing like how you are supposed to wash when you shower.
I learned some time ago that some Americans just will never be ready for the bidet conversation, just let those people live in filth
What’s demented is guys scratching their crotch and wanting to give me a high five afterwards
Do you live in a toxic fraternity!?
Jesus Christ. I’m afraid to shake anyone’s hand now 🤢
I assure you, people who bother to wash their asses with a bidet and soap using their hands definitely wash their hands with soap and water afterwards and are cleaner than people who don’t use a bidet.
Why are people so confused about this comment? I live in a backward society that does not use bidets. However those from the image are the only ones I know from Spain. What is wrong about them? Or is it the hand thing? If yes, what is the alternative? Please, can somebody explain, I am serious.
they probably mean the Japanese style ones where you attach a seat to the toilet bowl, and on e you are done a small tube comes out and shoots water up
yea I don’t know how those are popular either
This type is pretty good, but for food service workers, hospitals, and retirement homes, I’d prefer the hands-free ones with wide nozzles and oscillating sprayheads. Norovirus is a stupidly contagious GI bug, and for healthcare and food service, I want as little fecal-oral contamination as possible. Hand washing is great, but some people are terrible handwashers, and minimizing the potential vectors as much as possible is always appreciated.
Toilet paper itself is already pretty unsanitary. I wish all food service places had bidets for this reason alone.
Every time the bidet thing comes up, people are just DUMBFOUNDED by it. The sentiment is always “you smear shit all over your hands??” lmao.
No, first thing is you wipe thoroughly, then you use it aiming the faucet tangent to the bumhole, and with liquid soap on your hand, you clean it. Water is constantly flowing above your hand and against your hole, with soap on every contact surface. Afterwards, you wash your hands in the sink like normal.
Never had my hands smell like shit, never.
You touch your bare shit covered ass?
I bought a cheap $30 Chinese bidet that uses water pressure to blast the shit crust off without touching anything or even getting off the toilet seat, then I wipe dry with TP.
Your setup looks and sounds barbaric.
You touch your bare shit covered ass?
Yes, absolutely, and then I proceed to wash my hands because I’m not a Neanderthal
it might look and sound barbaric but it feels amazibg
I’m only kidding about the barbarism; any use of any bidet elevates people above others. You are likely sophisticated, intelligent and attractive for simply removing the chance of “swamp ass” completely out of the equation, regardless of your methods.
