British people prolly call this “Nuts and Bolts” or something summat.

FTFY

sell all your stuff at the uh, forgot the name

Sovereigns

I’d let you know how much I spend in electricity through PGE, but…

1. I just recently moved in, so I don’t have good data for you yet, and

2. Portland General Electric ≠ Pacific Gas & Electric

How many banks could Phil Banks fill if Phil Banks could fill banks?

That’s MISS Chanandler Bong.

Guess my job based on the following description:

I sell a product to a people who don’t believe they have any use for it during what they consider their personal time.

Answer:

I cut my full brother out of my life eight years ago. He isn’t a violent person, but he is a passive-aggressive asshole. My life has been infinitely calmer since then, and I don’t regret my decision at all.

If he were violent and had a vendetta against me? I’m putting a restraining order on him, moving states, and hiding my home address data as best as possible.

WOOHOO! BOOM

Predestination. Sarah Snook is just incredible.

Nice

WELCOME TO RADICAL AUTONOMY’S WEBSITE!

This is soon going to be a great website all about me! Click here to see pictures of me and my friends!

You know, I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’, but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band.

I blocked him a couple days ago finally. He’s a hateful prick, glad to be rid of his nonsense.

I suppose that might work, it never occurred to me to do so.

No, there is too much precision required.

Reminds me of this Pete Holmes bit.

I can read UPC, UPC-8, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom of the bar code, hand me the lines, and I will tell you the numbers you tore off.

I used to work the midnight shift at a call center back in the late 90s. It was incredibly boring because we weren’t allowed to browse the internet when no calls were coming in (which was most of the time, got maybe five calls total per night). So I picked up a copy of Yahoo! Internet Life, a now-defunct technology-centered magazine. This issue had a how-to section for wacky shit like that, so I committed it to memory because wtf else was there to do?

The Magic Cafe - Forums for magicians of all skill levels

They definitely did it to make you cringe.

Source: Am a secondary math teacher/parent and do shit like this all the time to make my students/children cringe.

My brother’s father-in-law had offered to pay up to $15,000 for his daughter’s wedding. He gave them the option of taking it all in cash and then getting a courthouse wedding so they could have a nest egg to grow, or spend it all on the wedding of his fiancée’s dreams, or anywhere in between.

She opted to spend it all on the wedding. 😒 My gawd did that piss me off.