Get one of your professional contacts to honestly evaluate him.

You can’t objectively evaluate him since he’s your kid, and any advice he hears from you will be subject to scrutiny since you’re his parent.

If you’re right then your message will be more believable from a third party, and if you’re wrong then they will hopefully catch that.

Either way, you are right to try to set him up for success; that’s your job as his parent.

You should have known that there was nothing to gain by telling him what you did. Kids that age are smart enough to realize that if they aren’t being selected to the local all-star team, it’s because they’re not an all-star. If they go to football camp and they aren’t one of the best people at the camp, they’ll realize that they’re not very likely to go pro. But you decided to make it your business at a time when you didn’t need to, and that makes you a jerk.

You said that you’re just being objective and realistic, right, but you decided to tell your son your opinion, and not someone else. If you were actually trying to be objective, you would have told everyone on the team what you thought about their potential. Of course that would be really rude, which is the point.

What you could have done is what many other people have mentioned in the comments. Something about how there’s no guarantee that anyone can make it pro, or how long they’ll last if they do, because random injuries can end your career, and the median length of a professional footballer isn’t very long anyway, so there’s still the rest of life to live.

Yes, you’re gatekeeping his dream

I don’t think it needs to be said. He will figure it out on his own that he isn’t good enough to make it.

He will either find the drive to make the success or determine it isn’t worth it, or that it isn’t obtainable. That is just part of growing up and getting older. It’s a life experience in itself.

But to put it to bluntly at such a young age just isn’t necessary. It’s kind of dickish if you ask me. Ultimately he’s enjoying himself and having fun. Organically he will get over it and grow up. No need to do it for him and spoil the fun.

Years ago I met Bernard King a guy who was capable of shutting down Michael Jordan in college and in the NBA for a bit. King blew out his ACL and had addiction issues. When I asked him if he had advice for a 21 year old kid it was “make sure you get a degree because even if you make it to the big leagues you might not stay and you’ll need that education”. Your advice isnt terribly different.

Is it possible to be a pro footballer without being mega famous? How did a footballer end up on lemmy?

The kid is growing up in a World on fire. People his age are screwed.

Let him do what he wants & just support him.

I love music, and was able to earn money as a teenager doing it, instead of flipping burgers or bussing tables, like my friends. But hanging with all those older, professional players taught me that I didn’t have the talent to hang with the pros as an adult. Rather than delude myself, I realized that I loved records (it was the olden days) and steered my career and education toward Music History, with an eye on a career in the record biz. I did that for 30 years, until the record industry imploded around 2000.

Perhaps rather than break his heart and look unsupportive, teach him to be honest with himself, and then put him up against truly talented players so he can realize that he doesnt have what it takes. At the same time, encourage him to look at other options in the business, like coaching, administration, scouting, PR, announcing, etc. He can still be part of the sport he loves without being on the field.

Perhaps not necessarily wrong, but people sometimes don’t like hearing the truth. I don’t agree with the other comments that you should support him - to me, that sounds like bad parenting to not at minimum set up a backup plan when things start to fall apart.

My take on this situation is that you may have to tell him in a more subtle manner. Fortunately, professional athletes are known for being notoriously competitive, where even talented people can lose out on an opportunity simply out of bad luck. This could give you a way to voice your concerns in a way that doesn’t directly imply that he’s not cut out for the job, ie “you still need to be very lucky to go pro. I was very fortunate, but we shouldn’t be counting on luck for your living. You can still try for it, but I really think you should also have some backup options if things don’t work out”

Was he asking you directly if you thought he could make pro? Then no, I think your honest opinion is the right answer.

If this was just unsolicited parental advice then yes, jerky thing to say. He will figure it out soon enough, right? 16 is when recruiters start looking and if he doesn’t get attention then he should know, I don’t think it’s the kind of thing you have to point out.

My kid who was a good - not - great athlete leveraged it for a good high school career and a scholarship to help with college, and an alright college sports career, there’s no reason to squash him down, if he enjoys the sport it can still be good for his life.

As a pro, you know better than most that any professional athlete should always have a back up plan. Pursuing academics, degrees, and skilled trades alongside the sport is critical for the very real possibility of a career ending injury.

Emphasizing that to your son alongside his play is an easy right move to make. At some point, if his skill doesn’t improve, he will naturally stop advancing in ranks. The reality will take care of itself, and as a father, the emphasis you imparted about other professional avenues will bear fruit without having to deflate anyone.

16 is not too old to not learn to be much better.

You should support your kid, even if you’re not convinced of his chances of making it. Anything else is just going to permanently damage your relationship. The best you can do is make sure he has a plan B. If he’s good in school he’s well on his way to that, so not much to worry about.

I don’t have kids and I don’t know anything about sports. If you continue reading after those disclosures, I’ll offer a perspective anyway, since you put this out to the internet for comment.

There isn’t really a way you could have put this to your son that would be taken well, it’s evidently sensitive for him and despite your intentions it’ll feel like a tragic monent. It’s just hard news. Whether it’s right to break that to him, well I’m not sure but I think maybe you’re putting too much emphasis on this one interaction like it was your one shot and there was a definitive right it wrong way to do it. What will matter most is more likely to be what you do generally moving forward. You may have your doubts about his ability in his chosen path and perhaps they’re well founded but you can still encourage him and be rooting for him whilst gently suggesting having backup options in times when he appears uncertain. If you consistently do all you can to help in whatever way you can with whatever choices he makes, then if they don’t work out and he has to abandon that dream, he’ll at least know you supported him all throughout despite your concern and that should count for a lot. If somehow he ends up unexpectedly rocketing to success in football he’ll also remember you’d been there all along encouraging and assisting. It’s ok to counsel against putting his eggs all in one basket, but just don’t push it, you must respect his choice whatever it ends up being and he there to help pick up the pieces if those choices don’t make him happy.

Much like with football fans, you support your team by just showing up to every match and cheering on. Perhaps he didn’t like the uncomfortable dose of reality today but so long as you are consistently a positive and helpful force he’ll hopefully come to appreciate what you’ve been trying to do for him.

He has to learn for himself. You learn from mistakes. My mom told me I’m too smart to drive trucks. Guess what I do 20 years later?