I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • umbrella@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago

    to be fair the examples youve given for men are niche sorta fetishes too.

    not many people are going around fucking cookie dough either.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      You have misunderstood “ookie cookie.”

      Aka “Soggy Biscuit,” and “Scum Cookie” if you like the band Skinless lmao.

      Also tbf I’m like 90% sure it’s a myth or reserved for old frat hazing rituals.

    • Veneroso@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      As a man with an egg allergy, Itchy…

      Socks seem normal.

      I draw line at food. That guy with the melon was on another level.

      • hsfn@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I always thought the sock thing was very strange. Have folks not heard of toilet paper?

        • TheRedSpade@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Ya throw it in with your laundry afterward. I wouldn’t do it these days, but when I still lived with a parent and didn’t want to raise suspicions with a bunch of extra towels? Sock works just fine. Though I’ve never heard of someone actually masturbating with a sock, just for cleanup.

          • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            I always just used paper towels or napkins. Not even for cleanup just have a couple on hand and then grab em when you finish.