I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • arin@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I’ve seen a girl use a syring (without the needle) and put a ziplock bag over it and fuck herself on cam with me. College teens are horny and creative lol

    • HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      We’re all horny and creative - seen one use a deodorant can… in the front of the car… while I was driving…and stuck in traffic.

      Those of us who don’t live with parents just don’t need to get creative - just buy what you want, or want to try, or your partner wants to try. Three drawers committed to turning her into a sexy puddle.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        Wow, you’re quite a connoisseur

        Getting there myself. My girl deserves every piece of joy she can get, and I do too (hehe)

        • HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I wouldn’t say connoisseur - it’s like they select fine wine and appropriate pairings after careful consideration. We’re more like “24 pack and a goon bag” and see where we end up. Never stop trying new things and exploring with someone you trust.

          • Allero@lemmy.today
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            3 months ago

            That’s pretty cool!

            Yeah we have one such set that includes just about everything to spice things up. Not necessarily best grade stuff, but a nice starting point to figure out good directions!

          • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Found the Australian? Or is it the states that use goon bag? I thought it was space bag in the states.