Never hand a boomer your phone. Especially an elderly boomer, and especially if that boomer is your mother. They will always start swiping. It’s like their brain just deflates. Their eyes glaze over. They get this wide, tranquil smile, as if to say, “Hot dawwg! This boundless collection of photos I’ve been handed is going to be a real treat!”, and they just start swiping. They just start fucking swiping.
Just make every second image in your phone this GIF:
Get some Operant Conditioning in them.
Christmas Morning thanks you for this so very very much.
As a boomer fully versed in modern phone usage I resent this unwarranted collective slur.
Ok boomer
I apologize for any offense I may have caused, but I believe your presence here is no coincidence. You have to be the messenger. Please pass it along to the others via email chain letter, or perhaps more effectively, state that Mark Zuckerberg has changed the rules of Facebook and requires all users to automatically swipe when handed people’s phones. That should be effective in getting Aunt Joyce to do the exact opposite.
Pass it on yourself, I haven’t used FB in at least 10 years. I’m guessing you don’t eat avocado toast either. Stereotypes are stupid aren’t they.
Stereotypes are stupid, but also I believe that the user you’re replying to is being facetious and already making fun of the stereotypes.
The other guy is right, I’m just goofing on the stereotype. You accessing Lemmy is plenty of proof that the stereotype is a bad generalization. Sorry for pissing you off!
My boomer mother swiped too far on her own phone when she was showing me something
Oh god no! Please…tell me it’s not what I think it is…
The gaping maw… of maw.
The fathercock
The progenitor penis
Daddick pic
The chronicles of daddick?
I love that my gallery app has a “guest view”. I can select some photos, tap “guest view” and hand someone my phone. They can then only swipe across these photos, and if they try to leave the app the lock screen comes up.
What app is that and does it exist on android?
Ente Photos, it’s on both Android and iOS
Just zoom in a little so it pans
Then they zoom out and start swiping. Just turn on Guided Access mode on iOS or Screen Pinning or App Pinning on Android. In those modes you can disable touch.
I was watching a cpl episodes of Seinfeld last night, and it seemed like half the plotlines would have been moot if everyone had a cellphone.
Yeah, welcome to the era from before they were ubiquitous.
This is why every other picture on my phone is my dick. Swipe at your own risk mfers.
Eh, no one will spend the time to zoom in that much, you’re safe.
It would be fun to make a “No Swipe Image Viewer” app that lets you pick an image to share - and then presents some searing penalty like a screamer to anyone who swipes to the side.
Just be warned, not for the elderly or faint of heart.
Faceswap the offender’s face onto lemonparty in real time.
We have this technology.
I just tell people “don’t swipe unless you wanna see my dick” and that usually does it.
I was thinking and I could totaly see george showing up at the wrong time only to get dragged along with a mass shoplifting crowd and being the only one caught
No swipe for you! Come back one year!
The League already did something about this…and yes it was basically a more modern version of Seinfeld.
It used what I call the “four psychopaths” format. Seinfeld invented it and…it’s always sunny in philadelphia uses the same format.
IASIP is Seinfeld cracked up to 11, in some episodes quite literally
Also Delicious in Dungeon
I kinda think living in the real world is a bit of a pre-req. I don’t think the cooking anime quite counts there.
By did something about this I assume you mean did an episode on this subject, not did something to stem the tide of illicit swiping.
More like a little bit about it in one of the episodes. The League was based on a fantasy football league if you never watched it, and the episode featured one of the people discovering something due to “illegal swiping” and one of the NFL referee people guest starred and called him out on it.
It’s a pretty funny show even if you aren’t into football.
I’m thinkin’ Hey!
She’s a swiper, Jerry!
That’s why you slightly zoom in on a pic before showing it to someone.
How isn’t there a feature like this? You press a button next to your photo, and lock it in place, no swiping or exiting the app without faceID
Guided Access Mode on iOS or Screen/App Pinning on Android
The Ente photos app has this exact feature! https://ente.io/blog/guest-view/
Does Ente photos work locally or is it just a “cloud” situation?
Wait that’s so smart I need to start doing that
Or, you know, use a gallery app that doesn’t need such workarounds.
My god you’re a genius.
You’re also hiding something, but still, genius.
I put any pics i want to show off in an album.
Swipe to see similar/SWF photos, while the ones I take to track my receding hairline, stay in the chaos bucket that is my photos app.
iOS has a “hidden” folder that requires a password to get into. All the nudes should go in there just in case. I’m sure there’s something similar on most versions of android.
more or less every phone has this as well.
A gentle reminder that Jerry Seinfeld is pro-genocide, and his wife financially supported a counter protest to those speaking out against Palestinian civilians being slaughtered.
I’m so sick of it just nuke Palestine and Israel together it’s over
Or we can nuke the countries that send arms to Israel and in a day they’ll tone down their crazy.
“I tried to stop her, Jerry! I tried!”
I can hear this comic.
they should do 1 20 minutes episode revival where it’s just the 3 of them (not kramer obvs) talking in the booth about new tech
No way Jerry would do it without Michael Richards.
Honestly yeah, like a podcast script read Reunion would be amazing with a modern script!
Why no Kramer?
Said some things on stage he really shouldn’t have, but people make mistakes and usually grow from it, so we’ll see who he is now.
I see. Very unfortunate. Racism is complicated and more deeply rooted the most will realize and accept. What he said isn’t okay and never will be. I hope he’s grown since then and made amends for his mistakes.
I think he has moved on from what he did. He was in a semi-recent episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Jerry and I seem to remember they spoke briefly about it. Maybe not, though.
Unfortunately for him though, there are no take-backs. Nor should there be. He metaphorically hit the lottery, and wasted all his winnings right there on that stage.
My goodness, what judgmental little insects we have become.
Thought he apologized for that. Doesn’t make it right, but still.
The audience laughing fucking kills me lmao
Nope sorry, you’re not allowed to learn from your mistakes anymore. Unless you rationalize that boomers made your actions unavoidable.
Question for you:
Let’s say the cashier at the local supermarket calls a customer some slurs. Someone records it on their phone. it blows up. Should the supermarket fire them?
Depends on the history. You never fire somebody on the first offense in a case of using inappropriate language on the job, because you have to account for their personal background - maybe where they grew up that language is totally normal and they really don’t get that it’s a problem. They have to be given a chance to change their behavior once they’re aware that it’s not okay. If they do it again, it’s a valid violation of workplace standards and totally justifiable to fire them.
Brb getting a job as a greeter to see how lo g it takes to get fired for saying “gas the nigs”
That’s ridiculous.
Should that person never get another job ever again? “You said something bad so you and your family must starve!”
Fired? Yes.
Banned from all other jobs? No.
Banned from jobs that are customer service related? Yes.
Banned from jobs that are customer service related forever? No.
Being cancelled should be treated like a timeout. You won’t eat your peas, fine no dessert. Well try again tomorrow.
I’d rather not have Jerry either tbh, he doesnt seem to think he can be funny without being somehow hateful apparently.
Jerry is a Zionist loser who heard “never again” and thought “yeah, let’s exterminate the Palestinians so that no genocide will happen again”
It’s human to lose your shit sometimes. I think he sincerely apologised.
Edit: ok I’ve done some soul searching and I’ve realized that I don’t really care who they are off set. Be they racists, communists, or nazis IRL, if what they say on the show is funny to me, I’m gonna watch it.
Nope, cancelled forever. As a warning to anybody who might be tempted to express himself honestly.
Modern people with the collective knowledge of humanity at their fingertips think any transgression against their standards merits permanent exile into the desert, like in the Bible. Redemption is impossible in the new age of enlightenment.
I’m usually like this if it’s a one time thing. In his case IDK I just said that because other people still say he is an asshole. But I won’t support people that we know are not sorry and would still do it if they could, even if they are famous. Like the unhinged Kanye.
Hmm true, I guess Kanye would actually be beyond the line for be as well
If you have an iPhone you can turn on Guided Access mode by triple clicking the power button.
In guided access mode you can disable touch.
:O crazy. I know us droids also have a guided access thing too but I’m not sure if we can disable touch
“What is the deal with swiping on other people’s phones?”
