I’m meeting my grandfather for lunch on Friday. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in several years. He went all the way down the hate hole. Never heard him cuss but last time we talked he was using the N word.
He’ll be 87 soon. Most likely, I’ll never see him again. He’s going to find out we’re moving out of the south to yankee land.
Fuck it. He’s not the man I knew. He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.
I hate it and it fucks me up. I’ve lost my people to hate and stupid. So fucking stupid. They all want to suck some orange cock. Fucking really? That’s your fucking Messiah? They didn’t actually fucking read the fucking book they claimed they believed in while shoving bullshit down my throat and the throats of any child they could get ahold of.
Fuck em. They could wake the fuck up if they choose to. They could read. They could think. I tried to tell them.
I’m real sad about it. Not a fucking thing I can do about it. They can live inside their lie holes.
Blackberry Winter has skipped two years. There are armadillos, geckos, and fire ants now. Those critters didn’t live here until things changed. The fucking woods smell and sound different now. They could wake the fuck up and quit listening to fox or their preacher but they choose not to.
I tried to tell them and they didn’t listen because they choose to be ignorant.
fuck em
If you are going to be upset about other people like this, you will be in a state of constant anger.
It’s not your responsibility to control what people do or think. My advice is to let those people be who they are, while you focus on being the best you can be.
Keep the people you vibe with in your life, and let the others go. Meet your grandfather and just observe him. This is life showing you someone who is hateful, from the sound of it. It’s just an example of who not to be, that’s all it is. Learn from that and remain calm.
You can do it. :)
If you are in the right state of mind, you can even smile at horrible things he says, because it’s just about him, not anyone else. You will start to view him as someone funny, like a child that messes up because they don’t know better.
Don’t fight people you don’t agree with. Just say what you think, and leave. No need to argue at all.
There is wisdom in what you say.
I tried to help them. I wanted them to see a way without the hate.
It hurts a lot that they can’t come with me. I love them so much. It’s not okay that I can’t help them. My grandfather. My family. We make our choices.
It is so so so painful to lose a loved one.
It is excruciating to lose them before they die.
Even worse is when you see parts of what you liked about them suffocating beneath the propaganda that poisoned them. This is like a threefold death.
“This is like a threefold death.”
It really is. Grieving is a process and it comes in waves.
Well his grandfather is so old he’s probably well on his way becoming a child again.