The person smoking weed next to me with skin darker than my own, yes.

They’d be super offensés if they could speak a real language. Thanks for half our vocabulary, suckeurs.

Please, no. I need to believe there’s still a place where things aren’t worsening.

This is the kinda community that requires more than 5 hours of sleep to digest. I know now.

“A problem with alcohol”? I think not; why, I am a professional. Good day, sir.

—me to the neighbor’s mailbox

Omg I haaaaate the 9/11s. If they ever find out who was driving those planes, we should probs kill them.

Haven’t you shown her the chart with the pirates? Can’t argue with science.

Philippines- and rosary-loving atheist here. She’s a keeper.

homo and sickle. kinda.

God I really need to spend more time in hospitals

Anyone else get ptsd flashbacks to:

• “aitch tee tee pee ess colon backslash backslash…” or
• “the email address is all lowercase, all one word…”

Oh you must be my old upstairs neighbor—send the rest of the dance troupe my best!

Sounds like Trump! Similarly, a majority of his wives weren’t American.

Out-of-the-JD’s-proper-noun-loop American here. What’s up with the dots-versus-no-dots?

When I used to come out of the closet as a teenager, this was a common response: “it’s not real” or “you’ve decided to do this”.

It didn’t occur to me I could have righteous indignation about it, but it did lead to me to a place where I’m still enthusiastically delighted/shocked/vindicated when straight people literally don’t care about gays, or aren’t disgusted by gays, or when they wish noncishet people happy anniversary.

Holy fucking shit. I can’t believe this is a question people have asked and others have answered and that the answer is so unsatisfying for pedants.

EMPRESS is full on Elan Mask now as if this is 1930s Germany.

His second expression made for some loud guffaws at my house

First of all, Jesus Christ.

You’re so much less unattractive with my feet on your face ☺️