Were it only that easy.

Started smoking cigarettes again recently too. Fuck self care!

If your sushi place is serving you pink ginger, it’s time to find a new sushi place.

Thank you for addressing this.

They just hit the second tower.

If I suddenly became a competent adult, I think it might tip people off.

I also hate the Beatles.

I don’t see what’s surprising about it. Different people like different things, it’s no big deal.

That sounds truly awful, much like the music of Bob Dylan.

It’s against the law to keep alcohol out of the hands of the youth.

You’re such a tease.

That’s no place for a semicolon.

I can’t remember the last time I experienced intense feeling of bone.

Fuck yeah, squat the world.

If I pray real hard will Duke Energy turn my fucking power back on?

This doesn’t seem like the work of demons to me. Seems pretty on brand for your christian god, though.

I never know what anyone is talking about.

Wash your ass better.

Do you not wash your ass?

My wife and I each have our own cars, but they’re both in her name so she can drive whatever the fuck she wants.