Mormons are so funny, I legit feel bad for all the people who have been traumatized by these weirdos, but like these children are called “elders.”
They have all these weird rules where premarital sex is totally not permissible, but they be fucking, and then be like “its not sex with a condom on” or of course soaking. Like straight faced “I’m saving myself for marriage,” and I’m like “we’ve had sex 6 times this week, Genevieve.”
I was at a party in college and this Mormon dude who always did these awkward, overly complicated jive handshakes that felt really violating, was sitting outside upset and depressed holding a half-empty beer. He was like “its all over I’ve sacrificed everything I believe in, for what? So I can drink a beer at a party??” It was one beer he wasn’t even finished with it. Its like relax dude, I’m like 19 and spiraling into alcoholism I think you’ll be okay this one time.
Ive heard so many horror stories, but I’ve only had good and very funny experiences with Mormons. And none of this even gets into the magic underwear or like you get your own planet in the afterlife.
Idk how people believe in this stuff sober
I just hand them SubGenius pamphlets and tell them about the good word of our guru, Saint of Sales, J. R. “Bob” Dobbs.
They haven’t been back in a while, don’t know why…
Every accusation is a confession
Projections gonna project
One day I was headed to my car to go somewhere. A zealot intercepted me and wanted to proselytize to me. I told him thank you but no thank you. He was all like “But have you heard about Jesus Christ?” I said that I was raised a Christian and knew all about it, but I reject it. He still was trying to argue with me so I finally just said “Have a nice day” and walked away as he was still trying to reconvert me. Some of them simply can’t believe you know what they are about but don’t buy into it.
Easy answer. Just push selling whatever you want on them. Hell make up stembolts.
Self-sealing I hope?
Those come at a premium.
It’s worth it though. And what about some delicious yamok sauce?
What really fucking sucks is realizing South Park’s creators seem to believe this unironically.
I’m always pulled back to their endless transphobia and gay baiting when compared to their love-in with Mormons.
Making jokes about trans people is not transphobia.
The Steven Crowder Defense is a classic
the most offensive lines (and this is where trans people might want to stop reading) in the episode come from Garrison herself, when she becomes incensed that she can’t get her period or get pregnant. “This would mean I’m not really a woman. I’m just a guy with a mutilated penis,” Garrison says. “You made me into a freak.”
Really comedy gold
“Just because you’d offended doesn’t mean you’re right.”
If you think South Park or the creators have ever praised Mormonism, you have completely missed the satire and point of every Mormon related episode of the show, every movie they have made, and especially their Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon.
If you think South Park or the creators have ever praised Mormonism
They straight up literally have. Repeatedly and frequently. Matt and Trey having Cartoon God explicitly state that he’s only letting Mormons into Heaven is about as much glowing praise as a cartoon about Satan having anal sex with Saddam Hussein and Donald Trump can churn out.
Put up against Britney Spears blowing her own head of with a shotgun and George Clooney asphyxiating on the smug farts of his electric car, and it really stands out.
The Book of Mormon
A stage play that collaborated with the Mormon Church to prostelatyze.
Throw a few dick jokes into Shen Yun and its still propaganda. This is a story of Mormon Missionaries going abroad and helping a bunch of backwards primitive Africans find entitlement through (a comic reinterpretation of) the Mormon faith.
Rudyard Kipling could hardly have done worse.
Remember how South Park Kanye reacted to the gay fish joke? This guy right here ☝🏻
Wait, are you trying to say that the creators of South Park like Mormonism?
If you think the musical skewers Mormons, though, think again. Parker and Stone do challenge the literal credibility of the story of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But the Mormons they write about come across as lovable and optimistic.
“I don’t think anybody would want to see a two-hour-long Mormon-bashing, and we wouldn’t want to see that either,” Parker tells Fresh Air’s Terry Gross. “We love the goofiness of Mormon stories. Some of them are incredulous, and we loved almost all the Mormons that we had ever met. So this was sort of this conundrum that we like to talk about — we think what they believe is really, really ridiculous, and yet they seem like pretty happy people.”
…
Along with critical acclaim, the musical has received largely positive feedback from Mormons who have seen the show, Parker says.
"The official church response was something along the lines of ‘The Book of Mormon the musical might entertain you for a night, but the Book of Mormon,’ — the book as scripture — ‘will change your life through Jesus,’ " Stone says. “Which we actually completely agree with. The Mormon church’s response to this musical is almost like our Q.E.D. at the end of it. That’s a cool, American response to a ribbing — a big musical that’s done in their name.”
“Before the church responded, a lot of people would ask us, ‘Are you afraid of what the church would say?’ And Trey and I were like, ‘They’re going to be cool.’ And they were like, ‘No, they’re not. There are going to be protests.’ And we were like, ‘Nope, they’re going to be cool.’ We weren’t that surprised by the church’s response. We had faith in them.”
This amounts to the way that I look at my dog. It’s loveable and outwardly friendly, but also stupid and destructive and terrible at driving. This isn’t an indictment, it’s a sincere and level-headed critique from an agnostic perspective on religion from a time before people needed to SLAM others for attention.
This amounts to the way that I look at my dog.
Sure. But then you still love your dog. And if you’re writing love letters to your dog in your televised comedy, that sticks out. Especially when the other half of your episodes involve cartoonishly shoving firecrackers up your neighbor’s cat’s asshole.
I don’t know that I can describe what 2000s and 2010s satire was like in a way that folks not around for it could understand. Following the episode where you point out how stupid a religion’s premise is with “only Mormons get into heaven” is meant to be taken as a joke.
Following the episode where you point out how stupid a religion’s premise is
While shamelessly glazing its members. Gary, the Mormon counterpart to the South Park gang is Twilight Vampire levels of perfect at everything. The punchline of the whole episode is that the dogma of the religion doesn’t matter, because the practitioners are these perfect, charming, innocent people. And you’re all kinda assholes for bringing up their religion to begin with.
Like, that’s the joke. The final beat of the episode is laughing at you, the audience, for thinking Mormons aren’t cool.
“Dumb religion, decent people” pretty succinctly describes my impression of Mormons. I really take no issue.
I loved that movie
I thought it fell apart in the third act.
Oh it had so many problems. I still loved it.
Not to get too serious, given the topic and the community I’m in, but…
There’s a saying along the lines of “You can’t reason someone out of a position they did not reason themselves into.” And the overwhelming majority of the time, it’s completely true.
Ridiculous as it sounds, there are large numbers of people out there who believe that being gay is a choice. These people legitimately feel like any recognition and representation of homosexuality risks turning people gay.
You can spend all the time you want asking them when they chose to be straight and logically explaining things to them, it almost certainly will not matter.
It’s not true, but the way it plays out makes people think otherwise.
There are tons of first gen atheists who came from deeply fundamentalist families, and often believed everything well into adulthood. To name two examples, Bart Ehrman and Genetically Modified Skeptic.
What won’t happen is changing someone over the course of a single debate. They will come up with all sorts of mental gymnastics right on the spot. However, conversations like that do add up over time. An otherwise inquisitive mind will find a way eventually.
It’s not an instant switch like you pick up a sport. I believe everybody is bisexual at first, because the genitals work, no matter what sex, however, your soul gets specialized into a direction. I started having fantasies, I accepted those about girls, and rejected those about boys, based on my social norms that my environment gave me. And I became a happy straight guy. I can’t prove whether a different environment would have made me different, but I also cannot disprove it.
I believe everybody is bisexual at first
Then you’re bisexual. If your “first” instinct was that both genders could be attractive, you’re bisexual. But societal pressure convinced you to only seek out heterosexual relationships.
Also just because you habe fantasies at some point, doesn’t mean you will follow the and they won’t “go away” in the future. That’s just your brain trying to figure out the unclean mess that sexual orientation is.
That is true, however, I think the resolution influences the result. I can be wrong, but there isn’t really an experiment where someone tries to convince kids to be gay and see the outcome. It’s just become forbidden to think this amongst the progressives for no reason.
Such an experiment would be highly unethical and of doubtful interest. After all, you already know sexuality develops without influence, is it useful to know if it develops differently under pressure? To do so it requires to possibly ruin people’s live, that’s why it’s not done.
Also, we already have the opposite experience: gays being convinced to be straight. As far as I know, it doesn’t really work and only creates suppressed emotions that ruins their sexuality.
No, but they’ve tried the reverse. They’ve tried and tried convincing gay people to be straight and it doesn’t work. That’s not how it works.
If you think you have a choice to be one way or the other, then you do. Because you’re bi.
No I’m not. It’s not about attraction. Biologically it doesn’t matter who stimulates your genitals. Then I found girls attractive, but that came way after I could have an orgasm.
Prove me that it’s not because of the environment.
The response is always “having a choice means you are bisexual.”
Time to relax my sphincter.
Let the lord in.
Yeah, clearly. My similar answer has always been “Huh. It’s not a choice for me… Are you actively choosing not to be gay right now?”
It’s sad, but if you are constantly resisting the urge to be gay… you might be kinda gay. You might be happier if you stop fighting it.
I can somewhat understand but of course not support that mindset.
Imagine if you held it as an axiom that “being gay is bad for you”. Then it becomes similar to addiction in their eyes, some people are more susceptible, some people are less, but it is the role of community to keep people away from indulging as it is bad for you. The choice that is presumed by them is not one of identity, but one of indulgence, the alternative they have is not “be straight”, but “don’t do gay things”, so they want people to do what normal people call “staying in the closet”.
For them, a gay person is like a crack addict saying “but being a crackhead is not a choice, I was born with it, and this is how I want to live my life”. And they fear to let their children next to this gay person the same way you’d be apprehensive of a crack addict, because they might give your kids crack and make them crack addicts too. And if you tell them that their kids might be gay too is like a crack addict telling you your kids might like crack too; well of course they might, but it’s bad for you so you shouldn’t do it.
Now of course society should stay out of our bedrooms, but that is an axiom held by us, but not by them. And partisan politics of course likes to keep these divisions up so that you vote for the one side, they vote for the other, and nobody questions why can’t we just live our lives in peace.
There are large numbers of incredibility stupid/ignorant/propagandized people out there who believe that being gay is a choice - FTFY.
Ah, the soul soliciting pigfuckers are at the door.
so what about gay religious people? i mean two well groomed men on bikes traveling in unison…
Sithrak is the only true god.
P.S. Thanks for linking to Oglaf, it’s been way too long and I had forgotten about it.
Jesus loved his bro’s
His bro’s what?
😏
True, I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick. But damn Christian’s keep asking me if I found Jesus. Damn it fuckers just admit you lost at hide n seek already!
I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick.
Skill issue
Tbf I’ve never had that happen either.
It’s Saturday night, not “too damn early on a saturday.”
Although if you want someone to talk your ear off about the church of cocks… Never in the morning though, early birds are the work of the devil. Or something like that. Beds are comfy.
We have by-weekly lunch meet-ups at Liz’s Diner over on main too.
Also religious people:
Trying to force public schools to post the ten commandments.
