I’m going on my first overseas trip with my girlfriend since we started dating. I worked hard all last year to earn and save money for this trip. It will be our first international trip ever, and I want to make it perfect, memorable, and the best trip of our lives.
I’ve read countless articles online to ensure everything is perfect. It felt overwhelming to the point that my head started to hurt. Fortunately, I found an article that provided a detailed guideline, and it seemed like the perfect guide. My girlfriend and I have been following it, and it has been very helpful so far.
However, I decided to come to this community to seek additional guidance, advice, and tips from you all, just in case the article missed something important. My girlfriend and I would greatly appreciate any travel tips, advice, and guidance you have, as this is our first trip abroad together.
Look up how social norms in that country differ from your own. It would suck to need the bathroom and to then find out, while in the bathroom stall, that toilet paper is not provided because the norm is that everyone brings their own, and to hope that 1) there’s someone in the stall next to you 2) who understands you and 3) is nice enough and 4) has enough to share with you.
Plan some alone time. You don’t need to be together the entire time and it is ok to plan to do different things.
Don’t try to make this trip perfect. Mistakes and bad things will happen on the trip; this is fine. It is better to focus on the good. If anything bad happens, it makes for a good story.
Don’t talk to random people coming up to you on the street, especially if they are speaking in your language.
Take something to help with the jet lag.
Get in decent walking shape. If you or your girlfriend have a sedentary life, it is going to be a big change when you are walking around everywhere. If you don’t do 10,000 steps a day on average now, start walking more while you have time to train.
The article that we are following has some good tips to avoid jet lag, and I hope they work. Thank you very much for all the tips. I found them very helpful.
Others have said it, but I’ll stress it some more. Don’t overplan. Whenever I go somewhere I make a list of all the places I wanna go to and I only schedule one place/day. Two at most if they’re small things. But don’t plan a museum in the morning and then a second place/museum in the afternoon, for example. You’ll never make it to the second place. Or you will but you’ll be too tired to enjoy it.
1-2 places/day are enough. Trying to cram too much stuff into a day will ruin your trip, really.
In the army they say: “No plan survives first contact with the enemy” I believe, right? I think the same counts for trips abroad. You’ll probably get sick in the first days because of all thr built up stress preparing for it, you will forget something “important” when leaving the airplane, the museum you really wanted to see might be closed that week because of renovations, etc.
What I remember most from my trips are those cafes you stumble upon that afternoon you did not plan anything, that sunset on the edge of the river while walking back to the place you’re staying and the best souvenir is that painting you bought from that friendly guy at that market you came across. So, try to take it slow.
More practical tips: try to follow the local schedule. For instance, in Spain don’t try to eat dinner before 21:00 and in France don’t try to go shopping during lunchtime.
Also, take some emergency food for when you cannot find a nice place to eat that still has a spot for two but you are getting really hangry. A bar of some sorts for instance.
And take pictures, but don’t experience everything through your lense. Also, imagine what you would actually like to view when back home. I only take pictures with people on them and not in any tourist hotspots; I can find enough pictures of those online already.
Enjoy!
That reminds me. My favorite memory of my last trip was missing the last train and walking 25 minutes at midnight crossing bridges and walking by a river while we experience the nice cool air and melancholy streets of Japan. Definitely a vibe.
Yep. Agreed. Unplanned bits are often very memorable. Took shelter in a random café in Vienna and had amazing cakes. My favourite memory from that trip, I think.
Have a broad plan, but don’t fuss about sticking to it too much.
Except the pictures bit. There I disagree.I like taking pictures of touristy stuff and such. Because It’ll help me remember the way I experienced the place. And pictures of stuff in museums because it’ll help me remember what I enjoyed most. I don’t wanna have to look up a list of all the expositions later on in order to find something I wanna review or share with someone.
Piggybacking to add that it will make you feel disappointed when you plan for 5 things and don’t get to them all, or don’t end up fully enjoying them because you were rushing from place to place. Plan some things, but give yourself room to want to take a lot of extra time at one place, or to explore stuff nearby.
Call your bank and credit cards you have and let them know you will be leaving the country. This will hopefully stop them from putting holds on your account that prevents you from spending.
I am guessing from context you’re an American going to Europe.
The US is big; distances in Europe is more manageable. However, we’ve packed a bunch of stuff into every square kilometre. Just because you can do Paris, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples all in a week doesn’t mean you should. I lived a while in Florence, and I always overheard American tourists talking about how they “saw” all these great European cities in just a day before moving on. They didn’t see shit other than the Eiffel tower and the Ponte Vecchio.
Find a place you want to experience, and try to actually experience it. Go to museums. Eat their food. Visit small unknown places. Walk around. Learn about the place.
Europeans don’t generally love Americans. We mostly tolerate them. We kind of like their culture, but our favourite Western movies are Italian.
This is not an attack, but a fair warning. Don’t parade how American you are expecting people to treat you better - the best you can hope for is that they’ll expect you to leave a fat tip. Try to mimic social codes around you. Don’t be the loudest person around - and if the loudest people around you are Americans, they’re either being obnoxious or you’re in a tourist trap.
Don’t ever brag.
Investigate when you can eat and what you can eat when. Lunch and dinner times vary from country to country and sometimes city to city. If you’re hungry between 14 and 18 in France or Italy you’ll be lucky if you can settle with a sandwich. Restaurant closing times vary a lot too - a Pizzeria in Italy will open at 19, in Denmark it will close at 20.
When in Rome and all that. Macdonald’s might do in a pinch, but Europe is a continent of cheese, wine, beer, and regional specialties. Find out what people eat in the city where you are. You probably don’t want to order a paella in Andalucia; only Americans order bolognese in Naples.
Especially in France, don’t expect everyone to speak English. They might not be very comfortable with it, and starting a conversation in English an awful start. Learn a few phrases. In France, always start any interaction with a bonjour or bonsoir. At the very least learn how to ask people if they speak English in their own language. In many countries their response will be “of course I do”, but chances are they’ll still appreciate the effort.
And good luck!! It’s a wonderful continent, especially if you’re interested in art, food, or history.
Edit: Also, if you’re in a touristic city looking very American or talking loudly in American English, you need to keep a tighter watch on your personal belonging than anyone else around you. You’re being targeted by pickpockets.
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan. I have found lots of helpful nuggets in your tip, so thank you very much.
This is all excellent advice, especially regarding France. Where I live, which is only 20 minutes from Geneva, you’d be lucky to find anyone outside larger towns who can speak English confidentially. And forget about it if you have an accent other than very standard British or American.
Europeans in general appreciate the small things in life much more than Americans. Like everyone has already said, try and relax and take it all in, rather than rush from place to place trying to cram as much as possible into your trip. Have that second glass of wine, or that dessert that looks amazing, or even that afternoon nap after a long lunch. Trust me, you remember those moments just as fondly as the big ones.
Ew do you live in Cluses? 🤢
No, good guess though!
After decades in hospitality I have concluded that yanks aren’t any louder than the Brits or Italians
But what most American men do is put on an affected deep voice to try to seem more manly or whatever, because that’s what they grew up seeing on TV or they’re a bit insecure.
It means that over the general hubbub in a cafe of whatever, you can always hear the American guys, despite them not actually raising their voices
You should hear how the Japanese talk on the phone haha
I think American women might have something similar going on. Some of them use their voice differently from what we’re used to in Europe. But yeah, solid observation.
I think Brits and Americans are also badly perceived because people understand the stupid stuff they’re saying. People speaking more obscure languages might have the benefit of doubt.
If you are going to a non-english speaking country, do not expect anybody to speak english. Learn some basic phrases on the local language.
If you need any medical assistance, do not hessitate and go to a hospital. Even better if you have some travel insurance.
Do not propose. Thank me later.
do not expect anybody to speak english
Can I add: also don’t expect that your body language and gestures are going to be the same. Had to learn this the hard way
Tourists in Bulgaria, for example, always get caught out by this. They shake their head for yes and nod for no.
How did you learn this lesson? Was it Bulgaria like the other commenter said?
No it was Japan. (I’m from Germany.)
I was 17 and it was before smartphones and I somehow imagined people in Tokyo and Kyoto would know English but they didn’t. And then I tried to explain what I wanted or where I wanted to go with gestures and they tried to explain back with gestures but it was a catastrophe. None of us understood each other.
I am so sorry because at some point a cook in a soba restaurant kept asking me “Soba?” and I didn’t know what soba was and it was day 10 out of 14 and I was at my nerve’s end so I yelled back in German “I don’t know what you want I don’t know what your soba is just give me that soup that I am pointing at!”
It’s been 15 years and this still keeps me up at night 😭 I’'m so sorry soba guy. Yelling at you legit is in the top 5 things I would do differently if I could relive my life.
(I was also still processing my first break up and it was hot af and my boobs had grown humongous which earned me a lot of stares abroad and all of this added to me feeling lost and frustrated.)
Corollary: do not assume anybody doesnt speak English.
Specifically, expect no-one to speak English when you need help but everyone to understand English when you’re complaining about something to do with the country you’re in.
Be more concerned about enjoying your girlfriend than enjoying the place.
Can you elaborate, please?
Think about ways to enjoy doing things with her, either things she specifically enjoys that you can share in her joy or things that you two do together apart from crowds, like meals and spending time together.
Figure out how many drinks you can have without getting drunk, and then drink only half that many. Altitude effects how hard alcohol hits you. Also, don’t mix alcohol and sleeping or anxiety medications.
None of us drink, but thank you very much for your tip.
Others have already said to let go about everything being perfect, because there will be things outside of your control that you cannot account for, so I won’t harp on about that.
Instead, I recommend a little pre-trip prep at home to make the end of your trip a dream as well. Take some time to clean the house/apartment, do the dishes and laundry, make the bed.
There is nothing like coming home after a long trip, but coming home to a mess or chores after a (hopefully) amazing time is a terrible way to cap off your vacation, so do yourselves a favor and spend a couple hours on making home perfect before you leave.
OMG! The article that I am following has mentioned these tips that you have mentioned. Are you the one who wrote this article?
you’re leaving out a lot of relevant info-- where are you going? do they speak english, or do one of you speak the destination’s language? will you have a guide? do you have your international cell phone plan squared away?
as others have said, if you think or expect everything to be perfect, you’re in for a disappointing trip. it won’t be “perfect” because nothing ever is. relax and try to enjoy it for the experience
In my experience, trying to ensure everything is perfect and micro planning every moment will result in the opposite. Be flexible.
This is a bit dependant on the people. The real trick is communicating and being on the same page, like everything in a relationship.
We both are perfectionists, but after reading the advice from everyone here, we are trying to be more flexible. Your advice is concise, but very helpful. Thank you very much.
Exactly what I wanted to say. All that talk of “perfection” makes me imagine them snapping and going full psycho because a train was cancelled and they need to book a different one.
To OP: just stop trying to plan that much. A general plan is good. Just be aware things will change and that’s ok. As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
If you want a little psychological trick to make the trip more memorable than it otherwise would be, whatever you think is going to be the most impressive, save it for last. Our memories have a very strong recency bias.
Just want to highlight something you said because it’s something I see people tripping up over a lot in my own life.
As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.
Keep in mind that your goal isn’t “experience grey and dismal weather”, “eat a very large burger”, “get killed by a venomous animal” (depending on which country you visit), but your goal is actually “my gf and I should have fun”. If things don’t go to plan but you still had fun, guess what? Things did actually go to plan!
EDIT: but also, if following your itinerary is stressing you out, then feel free to skip a day and just unwind and relax so you’re energised and ready to enjoy the next day
This probably isn’t helpful, but I like guided tours where a tour guide tells you about the castles and churches while everyone dutifully takes pictures to prove they were there. The guide/agency arranges the busses/boats and hotels so all you have to do is follow along with the program. The downside is that it always costs too much. The upside is that you spend less time waiting in lines because the planners will have all that worked out with the various sites. Some of those trips are almost exclusively senior citizens, but some have wider age ranges. Either way, you get to meet a set of fellow travelers who may become permanent online friends.
I think my wife and I have this down pretty well, so here’s our guidelines:
- Figure out some structure. We usually plan one “thing” per day. Whether that’s catching a train between cities, a particular museum, or a guided tour. This helps with pacing when you are there because you don’t have to think too much day to day, but you won’t feel like you wasted a whole day.
- Figure out food options. I usually make a Google Maps saved list of dozens of different kinds of restaurants in every city. The goal here isn’t a plan, but simply to have good options no matter where in the city you end up. You will have less than one dinner per day of travel after you consider traveling days, so don’t waste it on some tourist trap that you happen to be nearby when the time comes. I’ll usually make a dinner reservation for every other night to make sure we get some incredible meals.
- Naps. It’s vacation, just plan on taking a nap everyday. Our first trip was together was to southern Spain and we’ve just decided that siestas are for us. This also helps with jet lag, staying up late to do local stuff, and having something that you won’t feel bad about canceling if something comes up.
- Self-Guided tours on the first day. If you are Americans traveling to Europe, I’d recommend the Rick Steve’s app and then splitting a pair of AirPods together as you walk around. He does the whole look here, walk here, turn left tour thing, but it’s self paced. We try to do this the first day we’re in a city so we get an idea what the major areas are. Self paced is nice because he’ll say something like “this is a great coffee shop” and we can just pause it and grab coffee if we want. Split the AirPods so you can really hear your surroundings and the tour is something you share.
- Any plans you make are just so you know your options. If you plan on taking a train between cities, look at when the next train is in case you have to miss it. Same with dinner reservations or museums. If it doesn’t feel fun or convenient, you’ll want to know what your alternatives are so it’s never “something or we read in the hotel all day”. Think about “it’s raining, so we’ll go to a museum instead”. Rick Steve also does museum tours.
Where you going? Where you coming from?
For general non-specific advice, be flexible, have a plan, have a backup plan have a backup backup plan. It’s inevitable something’s going to go wrong, don’t let that bring your mood down, treat every event as its own adventure. Meet changes with joy, and you’ll have more fun overall.
Where you going? Where you coming from?
Something something Cotton-eye Joe
We’re from Singapore and are going to Japan. Thank you very much for your advice.
Do you both already have passports? Visas? Travel insurance?
How are you getting there and back? How are you getting around in-country?
How will you spend money in that country? Is it one that requires cash? How do you get that cash if so?
Can you speak the language? You may want a phrasebook.
How will your phone work or will you turn it off completely to avoid roaming charges?
Will you be doing laundry? Do you know how to buy detergent and such?
Edit: also, how will you charge things? Are outlets and voltage the same? Do you need an adapter (fine if voltage same) or converter (such as when you’re form a ~100v country going to a ~200v country that would fry your electronics with just an adapter).
