What’s the movie? I really identify with corpse #3
Poltergeist
Also she’s swimming with real bodies because it was cheaper.
Oh, alright, so it was rubber, only on real bones.
Do I remember correctly that these were real bodies because it was cheaper than fakes?
The one struggling to keep it’s head above water?
That’s the one!
This is where I have massive respect for gay guys who just use Sniffies for outright hookups and sometimes don’t even bother to learn the other guy’s name. Listening to drag queen podcasts has taught me a lot, and that a sex life can be pretty straightforward for gay guys.
Meanwhile, gay women, 🦗🦗🦗
No. No it does not.
No kidding. I’m apparently the only person who has ever had an amicable divorce where we just realized we weren’t compatible and never felt the need to bash each other. The post-divorce crowd can be pretty dire. They should mandate a certain number of therapy sessions before you can sign up for a dating app.
what i don’t get is why people married people they knew were awful people, or awful for them.
anytime someone lies, cheats, or steals from me (or shows any disrespect, like verbal/physical abuse) i dump their ass.
My ex was a chill stoner with a good work ethic when we got together and we had many good years, then he lost job after job, stopped looking, got radicalized reading Stormfront, then eventually physically abusive. I could not convince him to seek help, since he got so paranoid.
People change, sometimes you change in opposing directions.
that isn’t change, that’s failure to take responsibility for yourself. which makes for a shitty person, and a shitty partner.
hence why most radicalized people are shitty human beings. de-radicalizing requires people to realize they are responsible for their choices, and that the world is not some external force oppressing them.
Well it was a change, but I don’t disagree. Instead of trying, he just looked for someone to blame. It’s not like there aren’t external forces but our own actions and thoughts are what we can control, and can make a big difference. He’s doing better now, too late for us but he’s working, paid child support, stopped drinking, still a racist fuck but realized he was his biggest problem and did work on himself.
I had one too. My ex and I are on great terms. It makes for some fun moments when we can joke about our divorce and make people uncomfortable.
Dude, I hear that loud and f-ing clear. I’m also someone who left a marriage without any real hate toward my ex. We were chill during the marriage and afterward. No cheating; no drama.
So when I re-entered the dating world a decade after I had previously been in it, I did not expect the amount of bitter dudes I’ve since come across. If your profile starts with you saying you won’t tolerate a woman who does ______., I’m more concerned about how damaged you are from your previous relationship than I am about whether or not we would be a good match.
I don’t think the divorce part isthe point of the meme…
Yes but the post title is what I was responding to.
From what I’ve learned, it has a lot to do with attachment styles.
My ex is avoidant, with some pretty narcissistic traits (love bombing, then refusal to even hug because it’s too much).
I was/am anxious, or as the couples counselor told me “clingy.”
In our one-on-ones, she summarized up a book we had been assigned (which my ex didn’t read lol) that it was a statistic thing. 50% of people are secure style - they meet, and tend to stay together cause it just works. ~25% are anxious, and they do ok together and work fine with secure. ~25% are avoidant, and unfortunately, unless they work towards secure attachments, are pretty much always in and out of relationships. There’s a small amount of “disorganized” that has both insecure styles, but they tend towards secure over time.
The result is that the older you get, the dating pool shrinks. There will always been avoidant people available though. Secure style people are great at recognizing avoidant and typically don’t put up with their bullshit for long. Anxious attachment though end up with avoidants and it becomes a terrible thing, the anxious will do anything to stay, causing the avoidant to do things out of the relationship more.
If you could guess one common thing amongst avoidants that finally ends the relationship, what would it be? If you said cheating, you’d be completely right. It’s really hard to end amicably after that.
What was the book?
“Attached” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down.
Incels are on the rise, both genders. Where do they fit in your 100%? We’re seeing the birth of hikkikomori culture.
If I had to guess based on my understanding of attachment theory, it could be the anxious attachment, the avoidant, or the disorganized (which has traits of both, and is rare). In any case it’s clearly the insecure attachment styles.
Based on the “incel” description itself though, I don’t think you have enough information to guess either. An individual hokkikomori is clearly more avoidant than anything though, as they don’t seek or hold relationships with others as valuable.
Holy shit go live your life. You’re not a cell on a spreadsheet about attachment theory.
Wait I’m confused - you asked where they fit in the 100%. I gave you my best guess.
What does that have to do with spreadsheets?
What do incels and Excel have in common?
They both wrongly assume somethings a date when it’s not!
Yes. It does 🤣
There, now things are balanced again.
No. They aren’t!
√(yes)
Im not that ugly am I?
I’m at least a little bit more self-secure that at least I have eyes and hair!?
Not ugly at all.
Truth time tho, I’ve been noticing more of those positives lately. Just a little bit of effort makes a difference.
Effort makes a huge difference. People that put in zero effort are obvious and smell.
“If you can smell you, others could smell you yesterday.”
This is so sadly accurate lol
Four suitors? What is she, a billionaire?!
The bigger problem is everyone has kids already. But by 45 or so you can start looking for people with adult kids.
nobody has kids at that age in the urban coastal cities. i’m 40 i’ve never dated or met a single mother.
I had my first kid at 40, which was on the later side but not at all unusual.
I came from a more rural area and occasionally here about people my age back there being grandparents already and just have to shake my head at those choices. It just doesn’t happen here
I speedran adulthood and while on one hand I wish I had waited, on the other I’ll be in my mid 40s with an empty nest which is pretty sweet if you ask me
yeah i grew up rural and by mid twenties all my HS peers were married w/ kids or doing drugs/prison. I was in graduate school on the other side of the country at 25 and marriage kids was a decade away in my mind.
least to i haven’t been back there since i was 19 years old and never kept any HS friends.
They must all be in the midwest…
Solution: don’t live in the US, live in Europe
Why?
Because I barely know people in their 30s who married even once in their life. Most of the 30s crowd is single and dating.
– yurobro
is this poltergeist lolll
I believe so. If so, those are real skeletons
Not that I didn’t believe you but I needed to understand it. This article not only confirms they were real but the actress wasn’t aware until after filming. Nuts.
The Descent, I believe
Poltergeist. The creatures in The Descent are distinctly different.
Am I the only one having a stroke trying to understand:
“clears up again after the first wave of divorces (after 35?)”
yeah you are. it’s really easy to understand.
the pool was clear before people got married. it clears up again after the first wave of divorces. clear meaning ‘there are desirable people to date’
are you ESL?
Not OP, but I think it’s fairly confusingly worded because clear implies empty, but the intent seems to be to imply lots of choices.
Clear, as in all the garbage has been cleared up, leaving the good stuff behind
no. clear empties quality when it comes to water. clear as in transparent.
clear water is good, opaque water is dirty and unsafe.
you are thinking of clear in the sense of space, not water. clear space is empty.
I understand what you’re saying and I still think it would be easy to be confused. It’s ok that you don’t think it is, this is just a second opinion.
Seems plausible. Most of my friends got married or “like-married” between arround 28 and 32, then the divorces happened between arround 35 and 38. Those who survived that wave are still married.
The solution is to just stop bothering trying and accept that you’ll always be alone, or that at some point you’ll stumble upon a person who you like and likes you back.
Im lesbian and know 2 lesbians, so like, I doubt that’s going to happen, so I just do the former.
I’m just waiting til I get to the retirement home in about 35 years, they’re like huge orgies.
Orgies and Lan parties all day
Aww man, that sounds so awesome! Hopefully weed will be legal by then in the UK too.
I do not recognise the bodies in the water!!
No, wait, I do actually, that’s Steve, he died last week, I wonder how he got a movie part after that.
Oh, and there is Shelly, looking sexy as ever.… oh shit.
After 35 is the first wave of divorces?
Dude most people I know don’t start thinking about marriage or kids before 30
I worked for one of the major dating sites about a decade ago. Let me assure you, that people act like debased hyperhormonal chimps in heat when they think nobody is watching. Oh, and by the way - someone is ALWAYS watching.
If you’re a male who has some combination of a steady job, are remotely reliable, not drug or booze addled, have most of your teeth and hair and can tell a joke and hold a conversation - you’re golden. It is UTTERLY unfair to ladies, but just being able to hold that low bar will get you much farther than you might think.
It’s a strange dilemma - for a dating site to suceed, you have to protect the women. From the guys’ perspective, it’s shouting into the void, on the off chance you might EVER stand out enough to get a reply a week. From a woman’s perspective, it’s like the ozone layer protecting a constant bombardment of radiation and lethal rocks from space. A cornucopia of typically BAD CHOICES that manage to slip through the various cracks that the sites/apps put up to protect them.
But - the women ARE the site. If you have the WOMEN, then the men would follow you buck naked through the flaming tar pits of hell to get to them. But - the average male is a monosyllabic goblin with skeletons in his closet and bad intentions much more often than you’d think. It’s why Bumble tried female-only communication initiation. The women on dating sites have an invisible shield tbey don’t even realize exists around them to prevent bots, unsolicited dick pics, one word messages, repeat-offense harassers, and wide-net-casting quagmires who have more deeply held mysoginstic beliefs than they do good pick up lines.
Surely they can’t start browsing DMs?
Anything not advertised as E2EE can be assumed to have some 3rd party able to look at the conversation, malicious or not.
Of course. How do you investigate harassment and identify site-killing lunatics without keyword searching.
It’s all stored and anyone who needs to see stuff their site hosts can get it. Plus - you’d be surprised how much criminal activity people are willing to discuss with strangers.
I think the joke and hold a good conversation are where I run into problems.
I can’t keep jobs because of my agoraphobia, and anxiety. I was thinking of volunteering at the library, but transportation sucks in my city, and I don’t drive. I have mental rumination, and depression, while I also suck at keeping a good conversation. I do a lot of sucking, but not the good kind, except when I have a bowl of noodles.
