“My dick hurts” (Bosnian)

There are multiple ways to say “I don’t care” (which is what the expression stated means). You can say “Juckt?” Which is very informal and basically means “is it itching?” Or you could also say “das geht mir am Arsch vorbei” which means something like “its going next to my ass” (I don’t really know how to translate it in a better way, but it means, that said thing is passing your ass)

I Brazilian portuguese that would be “Caguei” -> I took a shit

It cares me dick. (Spanish)

A few others from french :

J’en parlerai à mon cheval (I’ll make sure to tell my horse)
Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade (Talk to my ass, my head is sick/ill)
Je m’en tamponne le coquillard (no idea how to translate this, but here is a fun explainer, also in french)

It naps on my dick. (Bulgaria)

It sucks me (as in fellatio) an egg (testicle).

It sucks my dick.

I care a crow’s nest (as in ships)

I care a turd.

I care a shit.

(Spanish again, we are creative people, as someone pointed out, the New World is way more colorful than Spain)

My dick hurts (Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian)

Like water on a goose - Swedish

Layeth thine eyes upon my field of fucks and behold that it is barren.

“I shit on it!” (“Szarok rá!”) - in Hungarian.

Besides that just “I don’t care.” (“Nem érdekel.”)

Maybe “Not even the dog cares, who lives in/at the shooting range.” (“Lőtéri kutyát nem érdekli.”) But it’s more like for situations where you want to express, that nobody cares.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. (English)

Zero fucks given about this post. /s

There are more vulgar ones in Spain:

Me la suda (“la” refers to “la polla”): It makes my dick sweat

Me la pela: It peels my dick

Me importa una mierda: That matters a shit to me

Obviously, this last one is closer to “I don’t give a shit,” but it’s essentially the same sentiment.

n. I couldn’t give a flying fuck (English English)