I’m meeting my grandfather for lunch on Friday. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in several years. He went all the way down the hate hole. Never heard him cuss but last time we talked he was using the N word.
He’ll be 87 soon. Most likely, I’ll never see him again. He’s going to find out we’re moving out of the south to yankee land.
Fuck it. He’s not the man I knew. He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.
I hate it and it fucks me up. I’ve lost my people to hate and stupid. So fucking stupid. They all want to suck some orange cock. Fucking really? That’s your fucking Messiah? They didn’t actually fucking read the fucking book they claimed they believed in while shoving bullshit down my throat and the throats of any child they could get ahold of.
Fuck em. They could wake the fuck up if they choose to. They could read. They could think. I tried to tell them.
I’m real sad about it. Not a fucking thing I can do about it. They can live inside their lie holes.
Blackberry Winter has skipped two years. There are armadillos, geckos, and fire ants now. Those critters didn’t live here until things changed. The fucking woods smell and sound different now. They could wake the fuck up and quit listening to fox or their preacher but they choose not to.
I tried to tell them and they didn’t listen because they choose to be ignorant.
fuck em
I’m drunk as well. Fuck em. They chose not see things as they are and accept others for who they are. They chose to drink the poison.
Just going to point out that alcohol is literally a poison people drink to make them feel good. In much the same way that listening to someone who is projected as an authority figure, telling you that everything that’s wrong in your life is someone else’s fault makes your grandpa feel good.
He doesn’t have to feel bad for supporting bad politicians/policies, because they would have worked if not for those damn immigrants.
He doesn’t have to feel bad about voting to deny people abortions because they’re all just drugged up sluts who should be punished with children.
He doesn’t have to feel bad about destroying the environment because science is wrong sometimes(I can’t really condense the rhetoric on denying climate change because it literally makes no sense?).
The reason they watch this stuff is to feel better about themselves. And just like an alcoholic, indulging in performative blame-shifting politics can make you feel good in the short-term, while negatively impacting your life in a million different ways, ultimately resulting in you losing your friends, loved ones, career, and community.
It starts that way, but quickly turns on you. Pretty soon you’re pissed at everything for no good reason, you’re tired but have enough energy for angry outbursts, and your world just shrinks and shrinks along with your brain. Horrible drug. Maybe some people can handle having a drink regularly, but I sure can’t ':S
Anyway yeah, getting caught up in politics can be similar.