Salmo has two AI packages commanding him to take five loaves of bread to the Two Sisters Lodge at 10am and to the West Weald Inn at midday, but the packages never execute as he has no bread in his inventory and the packages are of “escort” type, meaning he doesn’t actively seek any out. It’s possible this bug was introduced to avoid another, more serious one: if bread is given to Salmo using the console or CS, he will walk to one of the inns as commanded, take a bite of bread, and the game will crash. (UESP)
Right, this is classic Bethesda stuff right here.
The real solution is to make Salmo not have a need to eat.
Bethesda implemented a train in fallout 3 as a person wearing a train for a hat.
I don’t think they’re capable of solving things in normal straightforward ways.
And the terrain that train is passing? Also a hat. The skybox the terrain is floating in? You guessed it. It’s hats all the way down.
Always has been.
TBF the train worked really well and they managed to avoid programming vehicles from scratch.
This is what’s happening in highly complex software over time. Every larger system has corners like this.
I’ve worked on a system that required that you send invalid XML, because some bloke 10 years ago didn’t know what he’s doing and hardcoded a certain structure.
Easy fix, but our clients relied in the old behavior, and nobody bothered fixing it.
and nobody bothered fixing it.
As they said: “Classic Bethesda behavior”
I can only imagine what horrors of a more serious bug this hides.
Fuggin’ pointers
Something something trains are actually wearable giant hats
To be fair, most innocuous behavior makes Oblivion crash.
Now I want to know why it crashes!
It somehow clips with a texture under the floors that nobody knows why it’s there, all they know is the game doesn’t work if they remove the texture. Something like that, probably.
I dont know but my guess is the script commanding him to escort 5 loves of bread at 10am clashes with his script to eat the bread in the inn at noon and creates an infinite loop where he can’t remove bread from his inventory because it conflicts with the escort mission, can’t escort bread as it’s the wrong object type to be escorted, must remove bread to eat it.
We should boot the old 'blivion and figure it out
I don’t have the 12 hours to mod it though
Lucky for us there are now Collections on the Nexus that does all that for you!
I’ve used the Oblivion Rebirth+ and the Steam deck variant. They work swimmingly well!
I’m sure Bethesda has gotten around to bug fixing it by now /s
It is Oblivion, so the crash might be unrelated.
Screw the bug, I want Salmo CHIM lore
After Induil Nerevar fought and defeated Dagoth Ur, he was betrayed by Almalexia and Vivec, who then took Nerevar’s remains and burned it into fine ash. The sacred ash was stored in an urn, to be sent as a gift of conciliation with the Dwemer, but as they disappeared, the Tribunal had no further use for the ashes. Later, a small cadre of soldiers still loyal to Nerevar managed to steal the urn back. Hunted down, the soldiers did their best to hide the ashes in inconspicuous objects, such as sacks of flour and always asking for forgiveness to the dead demigod for such blasphemy. For long years, they endured.
After a particularly merry and foolish party, the loyal servants of Nerevar traded the sack that was carrying the ashes of their lord, thinking it was full of flour, for a barrel of fine nord mead. The realization of their mistake came too late, as the merchant was gone by ship the next morning.
Salmo, a high elf and baker by trade, was the final receptacle of the ashes of Nerevar. Some would say this has been long foretold in the Elder Scrolls, but the Moth Priests would consider gazing into the Scrolls for such mundane knowledge a blasphemy. Thus, Salmo, unaware of the contents of his most recent purchase, baked not only another batch of sweetrolls, but also one loaf of bread. He couldn’t understand why he felt compelled to do so, but he did. Unlike his other pastries, this bread was for himself.
After his delivery to the West Weald Inn, he sat down on one of the tables, intrigued by how this bread turned out. Gray, harder than his other pastries and, strangely, lacking a smell. Finally, he took a bite.
The nereva-rye bread
The bug is caused because Salmon zero sums upon eating bread and no current PC on earth can handle the effect of that happening.
