• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    21 days ago

    A dream like that can fuck you up.

    Back in high school, I had a dream that was too real. I tend to have hyper vivid dreams to begin with, even now.

    But this one? Fuck.

    It was a love story. No specific person, it was an imaginary girl that my brain cooked up for the dream. We met, dated, fell in love. And it kept going. Getting married, having kids, and in such detail that it is still in my memory as strong as some things that happened for real.

    She died in the dream and I woke up just sobbing uncontrollably. An entire fucking life crammed into a few hours of sleep, however long the rem cycle took.

    It changed me. I like to think for the good, since it made me much more willing to work in a relationship, to put in the effort it takes to be a good partner (well, my definition of such any way, might not be the same standards that others have, I dunno).

    It also made me willing to end a relationship that isn’t working instead of clinging to the idea of being with someone. Not that I never had trouble letting go, but on average, when it became obvious that it wasn’t going to work, I could step away and not carry any animosity or regret. I think it’s a big part of the reason I can be friends with most of my exes.

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
      0·
      20 days ago

      I’ve had a few of those life-time dreams, and they fucked me up real good. Several times I’ve fallen in love with the man of my dreams (literally) and been depressed for days afterwards when I realize I don’t have that anymore. It feels like genuine loss.

      And one time I was married to an agoraphobic whoopie Goldberg for 40 years, and woke up just as her sister and I convinced her to leave the fake house we lived in for 4 decades, that was 23 years ago and I still wonder if she would have been able to do it or not.

    • TwinTusks@bitforged.spaceEnglish
      0·
      20 days ago

      It was a love story. No specific person, it was an imaginary girl that my brain cooked up for the dream. We met, dated, fell in love. And it kept going. Getting married, having kids, and in such detail that it is still in my memory as strong as some things that happened for real.

      Same, I felt so much love in that one particular dream (and I for one don’t usually remember dreams at all), but this one holds a special place. Met this woman, felt in love, have a daughter whose name I remember when I woke up but sadly not anymore.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        0·
        20 days ago

        You know, seeing these responses with other people having experienced it too is cathartic.

        I’ve never met anyone irl that had that kind of dream, and the last time I mentioned it online, nobody popped up that had. It’s nice to know that it isn’t some kind of isolated thing, that it’s not just me being weird.

        • TwinTusks@bitforged.spaceEnglish
          0·
          20 days ago

          I am now middle age, the dream was when I was like 20, 21, and have a real life children (daughter+son) and wife. But I do think of my dream wife and daughter now and then and felt a tingle of old love for them. Maybe in a parallel universe that they exist.

        • Maalus@lemmy.world
          0·
          20 days ago

          I had “the dream” this year. It was about an ex I saw myself with, but it didn’t work out. I woke up, looked around in a haze, realized what happened and instantly got the biggest panic attack of my life. It fucked me up for an entire week. Had to take strong meds to calm down. The mind can be a very scary thing sometimes.

      • Mac@mander.xyz
        0·
        20 days ago

        Okay I keep seeing this everywhere.
        What does this mean and what is the reference?

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
          0·
          20 days ago

          Isekai is a genre where someone is taken out of their regular life and thrown into a new one.

          Typically, it’s going to be a more chaotic world, with different structures, like a fantasy novel type of setting, or sci-fi, or “wild west”, or even standard time travel.

          There’s tropes involved, but that’s that gist.

    • madjo@feddit.nlEnglish
      0·
      20 days ago

      Had a similar dream like that. But in my dream I think I died?

      So like your dream, mine was hyper vivid too.

      Met a girl, we dated, we got married, even had a couple of kids. And then at some point we celebrated our wedding anniversary with a big party. Our kids and grand kids were there. It was an amazing feast. And we go to bed happy, I kiss her good night and tell her how lucky I am, and then I startled myself awake and I find myself alone in bed in my darkened house.

      I figured that she must have gotten up earlier or something, so I go to the bathroom, but I don’t recognise my face in the mirror initially, looks too young and I start to panic. Rush to kitchen, shouting her name. But the kitchen is empty too, obviously. She was never real. I mourned that loss for a few days, it really messed me up for a while. Wanting to go back to the dream. But I never saw her again in my dreams.

      Scumbag brain.

        • madjo@feddit.nl
          0·
          20 days ago

          If you had dreamt so vividly that you were 80-ish years old, and then immediately after waking up you look in the mirror and see a 40-ish year old looking back at you. For a short time you can’t comprehend what you’re seeing.

        • Maalus@lemmy.world
          0·
          20 days ago

          Most likely they knew how they looked in the dream and went to the bathroom IRL and got startled because the “dream version” was different. With these dreams, it’s like that episode in Rick and Morty about the “Roy” game - living a life in VR that you believe to be 100% real.

          Edit: and it bleeds over to reality for like 10 - 15 minutes

    • wia@lemmy.ca
      0·
      20 days ago

      Vivid life long dreams like this are my every night. I have friends, family, relationships that last years. Full lifetimes. And then gone. I have such vivid memories of these lives I sometimes have to double check with my SO, family and friends if a particular memory is real or not.

      It’s wonderful but also insanely painful…

  • shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    20 days ago

    I honestly sometimes wish I wouldn’t experience dreams. Most of them are bad, and the few good ones usually make me yearn for something I don’t and can’t have.

    • EssentialNPC@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      20 days ago

      I hear you on this, but I have come to appreciate that my dreams are not always limited like my real world is. When I had cancer, it got really bad. I could not speak for months. I could barely walk. The constant pain, even on a hefty dose of opioids, was all consuming. Just watching TV took too much energy, so I stared blankly at the wall while my family tried to carry on around me.

      But in my dreams? In my dreams I was still me. Once I fell asleep, I could talk, laugh, run, and have the freedom I had lost in life. I could play with my kids. I could spend time with my friends. I could exist without pain.

      None of it was real, and in the beginning I cried when I woke up, but the dreams kept coming. It didn’t matter if my real life was not worth living - my dream life carried me. Waking up stopped being a sad thing and instead became what falling asleep used to be. It was a transition to the less interesting part of my life.

      I am better now, but I am not the man I was before I got sick. In my dreams, though? The pain is still gone. My energy has returned. My waking life is worth living again, but my dream life is freedom from the shackles of my body.

      I am sorry your dreams hurt you. Maybe the day will come that the pain they bring you now becomes a blessing. I hope in time you and your dream life make peace.