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Cake day: June 6th, 2023

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  • Examples of how toxic masculinity and the patriarchy affects life presented in speech rather than a bullet point list. These terms are describing social structures and expectations. Not about hating individual men. The examples all are absolutely negative products of hegemonic masculinity. Look into sociological/gender studies/anthropology resources on the subject. I don’t have the bandwidth to try and give you a primer on these schools of study, but they readily exist.


  • The DAILY DOUBLE! Woo.

    Real talk. The effects of toxic masculinity are tangled up everywhere, in everything, crossing the blood-brain barrier like micro plastics. If you honestly think it don’t exist, it’s big sign to me that you are wrapped up in it to drowning. People shut down empathy as a trauma response, or because they’re trying to replicate behaviors of a perceived ‘in-group’ (this would be the patriarchy) to gain acceptance. Either way it’s got you. We’re talking a nationwide ban on healthcare based on gender for half the country, and you don’t see it? You don’t think having healthcare is pretty fucking foundational? Is it 1 in 3 women who live under a ban in America now? Having your leaders celebrated for sexual violence not cast down ain’t a sign to you? 'Grab ‘em by the pussy’ is running neck and neck for one of the most powerful executive positions in the world. We’re criminalizing men who wear feminine attire, policing who is woman enough to piss where. The right just fell over itself to mock a kid who was proud to tears of his father. God forbid a man express joy. I keep getting texts from friends floored over the photo of Walz getting bunny eared by his smiling kids. There’s a big reason why seeing them so completely unafraid to tease their father in public is resonating with people.



  • I’m not going to argue which gender is the bigger victim of toxic masculinity. The bodies are stacked too high for me to see over. But please don’t say it impacts ‘much less than a percentage of 1%.’

    Like, my father used to tie up my dog and whale on it with a belt when he was angry and that’s probably the least fucked-up-thing-your-dad-did story of my peer group. If you don’t think it’s affected you, you are either very lucky, or somebody who is long overdue to talk it out.