Fonzie!

Who the hell says “what the entire fuck”, ever‽

For a couple weeks, not a couple weeks ago

Actually it’s a reference to Alice in Wonderland.

Yes, I’ve been down a rabbit hole rabbit hole.

How about flat, easy to recognise icons and straight, square windows and app designs?

Brutalism for your DE!

No reason they wouldn’t work on a small phone, especially back then

I miss the Vista tingle and shine, and the sounds it had

It seems Nintendo’s consoles (Wii, DS, 3DS) were also more colourful and packed with music and sound then.

The Switch is so quiet. So… Dead?

God, no!

Though these do look pretty, they don’t look like the buttons in Windows 95/XP and maybe that’s a good thing.

Ik heb hem maar eindelijk eens doorgelezen, het ziet er erg leuk uit!
Ik heb m’n gedachten op de Itch-pagina in een comment gezet!

And that setting up, and updating it, takes much technical knowledge, a lot of time, and the packages and their updates come from whoever on the internet much like the AUR.
For stability, I would not recommend NixOS, at all.

to allow registration as anonymously as a library card.

Sounds like a good kind of library card, what country are they from?
Here in the Nethers I need to pay with my bank (not fully anonymous) and register with my national ID card or passport (not at all anonymous) for a library card in my city.

I can vouch for Linux Mint / LMDE; their pre-installed software and defaults seem very sensible and I need far less set-up, fixing and fiddling (esp. with NVidea hardware; the open-source driver refused to make anything run on GPU with my Asus ROG Strix GTX 970) then on bare-bones Debian or Ubuntu LTS.
All four mentioned here have very stable and safe release schedules.

Bazzite’s defaults help a lot with gaming (and that stupid NVidea driver) and the initial welcome-screen helps you install the Steam, Lutris, OBS, etc. you want and leave out anything you don’t. It’s actually helpful, really!
I do want to add Bazzite’s team seems to have only one person who can sign releases, and they did misplace a key at least once leading to nobody receiving updates until they replaced the key in their installation.
Their team management does not seem the best; assuming this was a one-off thing Bazzite can still be a great, stable choice.

stable release
NixOS

Yeah, nah. Let them have Debian/LMDE, or (Atomic) Fedora, instead.

You play the flute and everyone around you is like

It doesn’t, and offers an even friendlier experience than Manjaro IMO

“help patent trolls” is a very confusing statement, as “patent” can be a verb or a noun in this case. “help patent abuse” would be much clearer.

That’s wholesome.

You’d definitely have me as a GM, that way!

Or an arcane focus.
Or their wizard spell book.

It’s not that hard, unless the component costs significant money.

I mean, it looks more stereotypically Scottish than Australian to me, but then I’m neither so what do I know

Scottish?

Australien; an Australian from another world.