Thanks for responding, I appreciate it. What you’re saying makes sense.

When you say that about her being mentally ill with no empathy, what exactly do you mean? I’m asking because it’s easy to draw a lot of different conclusions from that statement, and I’m trying to make fewer assumptions when I don’t know people well.

I identify as agender now, I previously identified purely as a gay man for most of my life. In retrospect, it’s kind of obvious for me, I’ve always been fascinated by characters who stood outside the gender binary- robots, aliens, etc. I was very Christian growing up and I was fascinated by angels as genderless beings.

In my case, I just don’t like gendered language being applied to be in general. I don’t identify as having a gender. It’s always felt like work, being a man, like it’s never enough and everyone has all these opinions about, “what a man is” and I resented it so Intensely.

Because I didn’t want it. I wanted to be a weird outlier who didn’t have to grapple with expectations in regards to my appearance, interests and talents based on something arbitrary that I didn’t even opt into. I never felt validation from affirming my gender. It was just work I poured into a hole in the ground to please other people and make them more comfortable.

Now I’m pretty happy! I just don’t give a shit about how I come off gender-wise and I basically don’t care how people refer to me because I know I can act however I choose.

I’m not sure if this is helpful, but I felt like sharing? Maybe the irritation you’re feeling is because there are parts of the gender role you’re living out that you’re dissatisfied with. Gender role is constructed, so I highly recommend picking the parts you want and living that, if that follows?

Anyway, thanks for sharing! I love when people talk about gender! It’s nice to get to feel that way.