There should be a narcissist’s prayer for people who bury their heads in the sand.

That didn’t happen

And if it did, it’s contained online

And if it isn’t, it’s not popular

And if it is, you can ignore it

And if you can’t, ¯\(ツ)/¯

Sorry but that knife screams “mall ninja.”

Depends on your frame of reference. When traversing the surface of a globe, your described concept of a straight line isn’t intuitive.