Of course they aren’t real. Just ask Joe.

We are days away from soldiers wearing paintball masks and dirt bike armor.

I do miss my traffic closer alerts, but that’s all.

That’s no moon! Oh wait, it is.

Where’s the straw?

Looks like the future I want is in the past

Damn meddling kids!

I would hope so, imagine trying to jerk…I mean, brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. It just feels weird.

It’s a cheeseburger commemorating the Trump tower, which became the tallest building in Manhattan on 9/11

Glockcoma - when a cop pistol whips you so hard you are hospitalized with glockcoma

Did that shrimp just fry the best rice ever? Oh and he didn’t flip an unwanted shrimp at me?

I tried sham poo once. Then I paid a lot of money. I’m ready for sham poo now

Oops, my bad. I have an old map…very old

What about my warm water port?

Cunt! Would you like to see my hello?

Big if true

My fav is the Bun Alert System.

Step-sis?