Maybe sacrificing people to appease the sun god never stopped, and the aptly named illuminati organize a new war every time the sun looks angry

Great idea. We need moth propaganda posters printed ASAP: “Scared you’ll die in the sun? Fear not. Form a Dyson sphere instead.”

Desalinated saline

These are also great for when you’re up to your third divorce and looking for ways to streamline the process

Suqma ballgowns

Obviously fake. Do they really expect us to believe the streetlamps are turned on despite the fact it’s a sunny day? Couldn’t be more obvious

Man… I remember when CCleaner was called CrapCleaner. Feels like a fever dream

Babe Ruth + Billy Ellish = Baby English

“Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.”

This guy fucks.

In my experience this is how it feels to communicate as an autistic person