Ok… so now what are the blue checks paying for if not to be on top of your feed? Just the blue checkmark?

3lbs of cashews, eat one pound each day, shit will flow

Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.

Hmmm… I choose the immoral jellyfish

Have you considered switching to indicas?

Ladybug bite.

I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.

It’s got a built in speaker you can pair your phone to if you have an official pee song, mine is CombatCircus, by Talco

Sounds dumb but once you’re synced up it’s hands free and the experience is really relaxing

The workaround is to buy a small handgun for concealed carry and then attach a small switchblade bayonet.

Your right to open boxes shall not be infringed

Reddit is dying anyway.

Is there anywhere to get those ads without having to book my face? (Asking for a friend, obviously)

Quiznos made a huge mistake

Cats dig waterwheels though, everybody knows that.

If you live near a stream or river you could easily rig a water wheel to dispense cat food at whatever rate you want with the right gear combos and some scoop buckets with flaps

I bring a small torch lighter and pop them out as I go

Nope, they’re mostly selfish assholes in my family

It’s just that much closer to the Woo-Hoakes lobe of the brain, which is responsible for controlling the placebo effect in most mammals

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Mine doesn’t like the pate either, I think it’s the texture

She loves to “clean” and nuzzle my beard usually first thing in the morning and before bed for a couple minutes, it’s annoying but I let it slide because it seems to make her really happy, I think maybe it’s a cat family bonding behavior 🤷‍♂️

I tried to curb it initially because she eventually bites and tugs out some hairs which hurts like hell

🤣 at least got her to mostly stop the actual beard hair pulling

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Second place: most nights at some point she decides to sleep on my back, which is only mildly bothersome, but she always makes back muffins first which isn’t particularly pleasant

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