So apparently I have a similar contorted expression to my mother when eating sour food.

My father always referred to this as my mother’s-maiden-name-gene. Let’s say her maiden name was Chaplin, he would say “Ah there’s that Chaplin gene again!”

Being young I misunderstood this as a verb, ie. I was “chaplinging”.

Cut to first year of school where I proudly waltz around informing any classmates eating fizzy sweets that the correct and proper term for their reaction is “chaplinging”. It was a few years until the penny dropped.

For your third example - my mom says “My head wouldn’t save my heels”

Never heard them but there’s something vaguely similar in Italian, going “chi non ha testa abbia gambe” literally “who doesn’t have head, have legs” used in various situations like when you go out and forget something (because you didn’t think of it) you gotta use your legs to go back and take it

My grandma used to say “drinking coffe standing up brings bad luck”.
While I’m not superstitious, I actually believe that taking the proper time to experience the little daily treats is necessary to get the best out of your day

The last one is a legit saying in Germany “Was man nicht im Kopf hat, hat man in den Beinen” (What you don’t have in your head you have in your legs.)

If you are not german (I guess if you were, you would know this is a common saying) maybe your family heard it from some German friends or acquaintance and adapted it.

“The goat man will get you.”

Used as a warning when doing something careless that would invite predators. My great-grandma came to the US from the Czech Republic and told the story of a man who raised goats and would steal children and break into homes at night. It was a reminder to lock your doors and valuables, and to never walk alone in shady neighborhoods.

I wish I could remember how to say it in Czech. It began with “Kuzubah”.

Plenty people in my family refer to cat kneading, in Portuguese, as “dancinha do leite” (milk dance). And I always took it as if it was as universal as “amassar pãozinho” (to knead bread). Well, it isn’t; I discovered this in my adulthood. Apparently it’s from Italian.

There’s also bunch of references to someone making things worse as “batata verde” (green potato); like “xô, vá ser batata verde noutro canto” (shoo, go be a green potato elsewhere) or “[pessoa] é uma batata verde” ([person] is a green potato). I get the reasoning, but no idea where my family got this from.

“There’s always money in the banana stand”

That one is stupid with two O’s

If you’ve got a dead hooker in the trunk drive the speed limit.

What you lack in memory, your legs suffer.

Where are you from? Over here in southern Germany it is quite common.

I have recently heard similar saying with legs, meaning is the smae but different wording roughly translated from Czech:

What is not in the head, is in the legs.

Ketchup effect is good, i might use it when the situation comes. Thanks.

Grandma’s empty threat punishment to all my cousins: “I’m gonna jerk a knot in your tail”

When something would strike you with immediate worry, like almost falling off a cliff, real ass-clenching moments, she would say: “That really pulled your pucker string”

Love and miss that woman.

“Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.” - Find a way to do it yourself, because it isn’t happening otherwise

My mom comes from rural Ontario, so I grew up hearing the sort of things you hear on Letterkenny all the time. But I grew up in the city, and I slowly realized that nobody else talks like that