Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”
Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”
Elaine gestures there you go
George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”
Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”
Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”
Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”
Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”
Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”
Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”
Kramer: “I like Bosco.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”
Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”
Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”
Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”
George: “Did you correct him?”
Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”
Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”
Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”
Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”
Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”
What is this, a Seinfeld episode?
Jerry: “How’d the date go last night?”
Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”
Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”
Elaine gestures there you go
George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”
Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”
Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”
Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”
Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”
Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”
Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”
Kramer: “I like Bosco.”
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”
Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”
Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”
Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”
Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”
George: “Did you correct him?”
Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”
Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”
Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”
Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”
Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”
Damn. Bravo!
Were you a writer for the show, what the fuck, this is so accurate
I’ve only ever seen a couple of episodes and I was shocked at how well this script fit what I’ve seen.
I’ve only ever seen a few episodes but I don’t know how accurate this is at all.
I’ve only seen clips of it on YouTube and this also didn’t make me laugh so I’d say it’s accurate.
It’s shockingly easy. There was a whole reddit subreddit dedicated to inventing new Seinfeld scripts
I can hear them. This is great
George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”
Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”
I’ve had this conversation
Sushi Star, I miss you. Occasional food poisoning was worth $12 all you can eat. 😭
With the health board even.