Upgrade my butt. Poot existential dread instead of regular feces.
It definitely didn’t end the way I expected
I used to think that if I could have a superpower I’d like to be able to take a big rancid shit at will, but open up a portal so it would arrive in the pants of a person of my choosing. But these days, what’s the point? Most world leaders could be absolutely destroyed by a well timed beer dump, but Trump probably wouldn’t even notice it wasn’t his.
I’d upgrade my ass so that I didn’t need to shit, it just like teleported the poop somewhere
Absolutely no way, finishing a good poo is such a relief.
You can still do it, just anywhere.
Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
Sorry, can’t hear you over my massive dong.
Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.
I’d upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it’s learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won’t have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).
After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.
It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.
Hey, flesh is weak! :V
From the moment I understood
Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you’d have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
That’s a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
I have a friend who’s losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn’t really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else
Yeah, I’m just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.
Unless your lungs fail
The heart will take that on after the lung layoff.
Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.
I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.
I’d like to upgrade my penis into super penis, two barrels, break action instead of the pump action, then I’ll create a new sex act called “Quakeing”, where you strafe around your sexual partner while constantly ejaculating on them with your super penis.
Welp, that’s enough internet for today
Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
Wouldn’t being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ? Wake up in 4 years…
Yes, but which organ do you upgrade to do that?
Brain, to add coma-on-demand functionality
Isn’t that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
But I’ll die.
I guess this isn’t a good pick.
Either way you would run into the problem of having a huge amount of your calories come from alcohol, without any nutrients. Unless you’re just drinking beer, which is just liquid bread.
my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade
I want my tits to be able to shoot lasers at will, it’d be cool.
You mean something like this?
I would upgrade my brain to be able to consciously control all the little automatic stuff. Tell my brain to up the metabolic rate when I want to burn more fat, increase heart rate when exercising, basically to be able to consciously control all functions of my body at will.
I can’t be trusted with direct control of the of my pleasure center of my brain.
All y’all are picking dick.
But the correct answer is that balls. Need something more durable and with a faster reload time.
balls
Instructions Unclear, accidentally became leader of Ukraine.
Then you want to upgrade your prostate, not balls.
How many times a day do you need to jerk off?!
You’ll be limited by shaft resilience before reload time, especially over multi-day operations.
Careful with that, you probably wouldn’t want to end up in a StuG III Ausf B situation
rubbing a monkey’s paw
Oh no! I didn’t realize I was asking for Nazi balls!
that’s okay my homies can hook me up with a reload
Since when is a dick an organ?
Reproductive organ
Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.
Is it a form problem?
