I don’t understand why you need to do public something that is supposed so be part of your private life. What do you expect to get from society when you show your sexual or non sexual preference? You will be always be rejected by a portion of it. Just because you are different. For me is irrelevant what other choose, they are people just like me and that’s enough. I don’t have to discuss about those things with anyone. It’s the choose and freedom as humans.
So, I know you got a lot of replies to this already (probably more than you expected lol) but I’d like to throw in my 2 cents.
For me, there’s two big reasons to be public about your sexual preferences. The first of those is awareness. For me, I grew up homeschooled in an extremely rural area. My parents did their best with the whole ‘birds and bees’ thing and gave me books to handle puberty stuff (which worked really well for me since I read an insane amount back then). But none of those really went over anything about different sexual preferenes, leading me to waiting my entire teenage life for that point where I’m supposed to suddenly start being into girls (or guys, bc that had enough media attention at that point where I was dimly aware lol).
It was only thanks to the internet- I think posts about it during pride month- that I even learned about asexuality as a concept. If nobody talked about that kind of stuff at all, I’d still probably be feeling like I was supposed to feel physically attracted towards people yet for some reason didn’t.
The second reason, is for equal rights. We don’t live in a perfect world, and people discriminate against others. And you can’t just hide everything- you can be quiet about it, sure, but for example: if you’re gay, and in a committed relationship, people are going to notice it the same way they’d notice if you’re in a committed relationship with someone of the opposite gender. And many people have backwards views that would cause them to discriminate against you for that. One shouldn’t have to be afraid that if their boss finds out they’re gay, they’ll lose their job.
We have protections against discrimination for that, but those protections didn’t come into existance because people were quiet about that. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so to speak. And same goes for gay marriage- that was only a relatively recent change, but it would not have happened if not for gay people making their presence known and demanding they should have the same rights to marriage as hetero couples.
As much as I’d love to be in a world where we don’t need to worry about all that anymore because we have those rights now, there’s still a lot of people in positions of power who hold a lot of unjust prejudice against lgbtq folk. Especially with the current state of politics here in the USA. And I don’t see that changing anytime too soon, either.
Eh I mostly agree with you but if you really expand the scale of it all I think it starts to at least make a little more sense why some smaller groups pop up now and then raising awareness for one specific proclivity or the other. Actually it has a lot to do with what you just expressed I think.
It sounds like your opinion about preference and rejection comes from a place of self confidence. That’s a good thing but I’m sure you can imagine how that could be harder for people who don’t understand themselves and their own feelings as well.
For many people, sexual preferences are not a big personal issue that will cause them a great deal of stress in their day to day life. For some, the very fact that they do not align with their peers can make things really uncomfortable and uncertain especially around the more formitive years of establishing who they are as a person even just in their own mind.
Even heterosexual people have to achieve that introspection but we get the benefit of having lots of personal relationships with similar leaning people to build our frames of references.
Sometimes that is also an optuion for the more common non-heterosexual variations but that is mostly thanks to the greatly increased social presence which has the simultaneous effect of reducing the general stigma around such topics.
The more successful these groups oh like minded people become in projecting their influence the less they need to do so but most of the groups who championed these causes over the last decade or so realized how powerful an impact just growing awareness had for so many people that would otherwise have no support from their peers and while it’s not quite as necessary to raise awareness as much for the most common members (the L-esbians, G-ay, B-isexuals…) the rest are still trying to catch up with the leading edge of the awareness movement.
TLDR, the spreading of broad awareness isn’t so much about labeling themselves for people who don’t care as it is for the benefit of others who feel the same way but don’t know they have peers that can help them understand themselves.
What do you expect to get from society when you show your sexual or non sexual preference?
wait until you find out about what straight people do every day.
It’s hard to have an entire intimate relationship with someone, entirely privately. Thus the fallacy of “just go fuck people in private” yeah, everyone does, good point bro. I’m sure this will meaningfully change the path of the argument going forward, oh wait this is just a classic nazi run-around statement.
To be clear, i am relatively in line with your post here. I don’t give a fuck, nobody needs to know about my personal life and my relationships. But that’s the thing i don’t care many people DO care. I’m just not one of them.
Realistically, the best bet is for nobody to care about anything ever, but that will never happen.
wait until you find out about what straight people do every day.
I agree with you on that, and for me thats disgusting . It’s not a matter of the orientation is exhibiting your sexuality. I have some friend that are typically male alpha blah and they don’t talk with me about how many girls they fucked last time because they know I don’t care. I have gay friends that are almost sex predators and they talk in a way sometimes I have to stop them. I think the issue is more related to how people stopped taking care of theyr personal life and they have to show all in a supposed effort of freedom. But that’s not freedom . Freedom is not having a government punishing you because your sexual orientation . You can’t do much about society. You are no sexual teachers. You are not anyone to tell how the other needs to think.
Maybe you should stop being friends with sex predators. Being gay does not prevent you from being an abusive asshole, and should not shield you from being called out if you are one.
For me is irrelevant what other choose, they are people just like me and that’s enough.
As far as I understand, the whole point is that some people don’t think it’s irrelevant and discriminate others based on their sexuality (or lack thereof). So they make it public and open up about it to show that it is not bad and lots of people are like that - that’s kinda the whole point of the pride parades I think?
There will be always people that don’t like you because you are different . Because is a personal and private subject. They feel they can judge . So is like feeding them. We have to protect of private and personal word. I don’t agree is the way.
It’s one thing to openly be a happy gay couple, and another going to excessive lengths to make sure everyone witnesses you as gay.
A minority will fight back, because no one can please everyone, but for most people, it’s as annoying as straight/religious/republicans/etc. people making that trait their personality. We don’t care, just make the world better by being happy with yourself.
I totally agree. But the solution i think is not exposing yourself. And not because one is gay or not. Its because is your private life, it’s a double-edged weapon. I repeat, not just exposing if you are gay or not, anything that is my sexual life, i keep it private. Because is part of your “sacred temple” or those tings that makes you unique. I think the fight should be without exposition, because we are talking about RIGHTS, human rights, no need of self exposition, is what we deserve as humans beings. Everyone.
You’re completely missing the opposite though. Should straight-cis-whatever be just as private? How does that work with media and entertainment? What types of relationships are being used to tell a story and how does that effect someone watching? You can’t just say it should stay Private when every piece of our society-fabric is woven with hetero storytelling/traditions.
A traditional marriage is a heterosexual parade (even have throwing shit and jumbling cans behind the car so everyone knows!).
Also, I’m not sure you’re aware of this (I guess), but most people in history just don’t come out exclaiming their sexual preferences. They were outted and condemned by the communities and people in it. They suffer in silence while those around them judge and make their lives harder (or end them). You can’t ask a whole swath of people to stay “private” while others celebrate their relationship openly, I don’t even understand how you can equate all of this together honestly. This just seems like a “don’t dress provocative if you don’t want to be raped” kinda view.
They are not just bigots, they are people that were rised with a poor point of view and they attach to the point of view of others without having a criticism mentality. They just repeat . Like religion. The problem if you expose your private life as a cost, society is fucked up and doesn’t matter people will always criticize you. No matter if is of sexual orientation or if you don’t like football. Or alcohol.
Bigotry thrives on ignorance. By coming out and speaking up, people are actively challenging a status quo that enables such ignorance.
You’ll sometimes notice this when a homophonic parent has to confront their own child coming out instead of just a bogeyman ‘other’. Not always, but occasionally, they’ll actually rethink their ingrained biases.
I’m all for acceptance but broadcasting your sexuality is strange and unnecessary. I understand there’s some need for it for acceptance etc, but the amount of shit on Lemmy about your sexual orientation is overboard. I don’t care or want to know who you fuck.
I don’t understand why you need to do public something that is supposed so be part of your private life. What do you expect to get from society when you show your sexual or non sexual preference? You will be always be rejected by a portion of it. Just because you are different. For me is irrelevant what other choose, they are people just like me and that’s enough. I don’t have to discuss about those things with anyone. It’s the choose and freedom as humans.
So, I know you got a lot of replies to this already (probably more than you expected lol) but I’d like to throw in my 2 cents.
For me, there’s two big reasons to be public about your sexual preferences. The first of those is awareness. For me, I grew up homeschooled in an extremely rural area. My parents did their best with the whole ‘birds and bees’ thing and gave me books to handle puberty stuff (which worked really well for me since I read an insane amount back then). But none of those really went over anything about different sexual preferenes, leading me to waiting my entire teenage life for that point where I’m supposed to suddenly start being into girls (or guys, bc that had enough media attention at that point where I was dimly aware lol).
It was only thanks to the internet- I think posts about it during pride month- that I even learned about asexuality as a concept. If nobody talked about that kind of stuff at all, I’d still probably be feeling like I was supposed to feel physically attracted towards people yet for some reason didn’t.
The second reason, is for equal rights. We don’t live in a perfect world, and people discriminate against others. And you can’t just hide everything- you can be quiet about it, sure, but for example: if you’re gay, and in a committed relationship, people are going to notice it the same way they’d notice if you’re in a committed relationship with someone of the opposite gender. And many people have backwards views that would cause them to discriminate against you for that. One shouldn’t have to be afraid that if their boss finds out they’re gay, they’ll lose their job.
We have protections against discrimination for that, but those protections didn’t come into existance because people were quiet about that. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so to speak. And same goes for gay marriage- that was only a relatively recent change, but it would not have happened if not for gay people making their presence known and demanding they should have the same rights to marriage as hetero couples.
As much as I’d love to be in a world where we don’t need to worry about all that anymore because we have those rights now, there’s still a lot of people in positions of power who hold a lot of unjust prejudice against lgbtq folk. Especially with the current state of politics here in the USA. And I don’t see that changing anytime too soon, either.
Eh I mostly agree with you but if you really expand the scale of it all I think it starts to at least make a little more sense why some smaller groups pop up now and then raising awareness for one specific proclivity or the other. Actually it has a lot to do with what you just expressed I think.
It sounds like your opinion about preference and rejection comes from a place of self confidence. That’s a good thing but I’m sure you can imagine how that could be harder for people who don’t understand themselves and their own feelings as well.
For many people, sexual preferences are not a big personal issue that will cause them a great deal of stress in their day to day life. For some, the very fact that they do not align with their peers can make things really uncomfortable and uncertain especially around the more formitive years of establishing who they are as a person even just in their own mind.
Even heterosexual people have to achieve that introspection but we get the benefit of having lots of personal relationships with similar leaning people to build our frames of references.
Sometimes that is also an optuion for the more common non-heterosexual variations but that is mostly thanks to the greatly increased social presence which has the simultaneous effect of reducing the general stigma around such topics.
The more successful these groups oh like minded people become in projecting their influence the less they need to do so but most of the groups who championed these causes over the last decade or so realized how powerful an impact just growing awareness had for so many people that would otherwise have no support from their peers and while it’s not quite as necessary to raise awareness as much for the most common members (the L-esbians, G-ay, B-isexuals…) the rest are still trying to catch up with the leading edge of the awareness movement.
TLDR, the spreading of broad awareness isn’t so much about labeling themselves for people who don’t care as it is for the benefit of others who feel the same way but don’t know they have peers that can help them understand themselves.
wait until you find out about what straight people do every day.
It’s hard to have an entire intimate relationship with someone, entirely privately. Thus the fallacy of “just go fuck people in private” yeah, everyone does, good point bro. I’m sure this will meaningfully change the path of the argument going forward, oh wait this is just a classic nazi run-around statement.
To be clear, i am relatively in line with your post here. I don’t give a fuck, nobody needs to know about my personal life and my relationships. But that’s the thing i don’t care many people DO care. I’m just not one of them.
Realistically, the best bet is for nobody to care about anything ever, but that will never happen.
Maybe you should stop being friends with sex predators. Being gay does not prevent you from being an abusive asshole, and should not shield you from being called out if you are one.
As far as I understand, the whole point is that some people don’t think it’s irrelevant and discriminate others based on their sexuality (or lack thereof). So they make it public and open up about it to show that it is not bad and lots of people are like that - that’s kinda the whole point of the pride parades I think?
There will be always people that don’t like you because you are different . Because is a personal and private subject. They feel they can judge . So is like feeding them. We have to protect of private and personal word. I don’t agree is the way.
Gay couples shouldnt have to stay secret, trans people shouldnt have to stay locked in their homes.
I deserve to exist as a human in public.
It’s one thing to openly be a happy gay couple, and another going to excessive lengths to make sure everyone witnesses you as gay.
A minority will fight back, because no one can please everyone, but for most people, it’s as annoying as straight/religious/republicans/etc. people making that trait their personality. We don’t care, just make the world better by being happy with yourself.
I totally agree. But the solution i think is not exposing yourself. And not because one is gay or not. Its because is your private life, it’s a double-edged weapon. I repeat, not just exposing if you are gay or not, anything that is my sexual life, i keep it private. Because is part of your “sacred temple” or those tings that makes you unique. I think the fight should be without exposition, because we are talking about RIGHTS, human rights, no need of self exposition, is what we deserve as humans beings. Everyone.
You’re completely missing the opposite though. Should straight-cis-whatever be just as private? How does that work with media and entertainment? What types of relationships are being used to tell a story and how does that effect someone watching? You can’t just say it should stay Private when every piece of our society-fabric is woven with hetero storytelling/traditions.
A traditional marriage is a heterosexual parade (even have throwing shit and jumbling cans behind the car so everyone knows!).
Also, I’m not sure you’re aware of this (I guess), but most people in history just don’t come out exclaiming their sexual preferences. They were outted and condemned by the communities and people in it. They suffer in silence while those around them judge and make their lives harder (or end them). You can’t ask a whole swath of people to stay “private” while others celebrate their relationship openly, I don’t even understand how you can equate all of this together honestly. This just seems like a “don’t dress provocative if you don’t want to be raped” kinda view.
Those people are called bigots and we should continue to expose and ridicule them for their idiotic biases.
They are not just bigots, they are people that were rised with a poor point of view and they attach to the point of view of others without having a criticism mentality. They just repeat . Like religion. The problem if you expose your private life as a cost, society is fucked up and doesn’t matter people will always criticize you. No matter if is of sexual orientation or if you don’t like football. Or alcohol.
Bigotry thrives on ignorance. By coming out and speaking up, people are actively challenging a status quo that enables such ignorance.
You’ll sometimes notice this when a homophonic parent has to confront their own child coming out instead of just a bogeyman ‘other’. Not always, but occasionally, they’ll actually rethink their ingrained biases.
They don’t want to have to hide who they are, make up lies, etc. They are demanding the right to be who they are. I think it’s great.
100%.
I’m all for acceptance but broadcasting your sexuality is strange and unnecessary. I understand there’s some need for it for acceptance etc, but the amount of shit on Lemmy about your sexual orientation is overboard. I don’t care or want to know who you fuck.