I’m familiar with one-uppers - like if you say I only got 6 hours of sleep last night and someone has to chime in and say “that’s nothing! I got only 3 hours”
So something similar to that but not one-upping.
Like if you said "I worked in a warehouse once, my boss was cool, and the work wasn’t bad. " And then someone replied with, “I don’t know what gravy-ass, non-real-job place you worked at, but every warehouse I have worked in sucks!”
So, the person is kind of one-upping but that the same time trying to claim that your lived experience isn’t true and their experience is the way things actually are.
Is there a word for that?
Depending on the angle (a lot going on there) you could go with “denial”. As in, you’re lying, because if you’re bot, then my life sucked, and that’s unacceptable, so you’re lying.
Gaslighting?
No
No, gaslighting is when you say it’s sunny outside and someone argues that it’s actually cloudy. You can see for yourself that it’s sunny, but they insist it’s not. Usually, it’s not so cut-and-dry, my example is absurd to demonstrate how insane it is. Usually it’s more subtle, like you’re sure you put your keys on the key-hook next to the door, but your spouse says that you didn’t and then finds them in the bathroom or something. You’re 100% sure you put them on the hook, but your spouse is 100% sure you didn’t. (Spoiler, you did, and the spouse moved them, then lied and said you must have done it. The point is to make you doubt yourself.)
This person is one-upping you only to prove to themselves that their experience was justified, by making yours unjustified. I get defensive when someone brings up a workplace I struggled with. I think the perspective of the person that put your experience down as “not-real” is attacking your experience out of defense. It’s rude and ugly, but the alternative is that “warehouses” are Not bad to work in, or that you are better at working a warehouse than they were. It might be emotionally painful to consider those alternatives, and it’s much easier to make younger workers feel overly entitled.
I don’t know of a single word or bit of slang that describes that (annoying) type of personality. It’s a bit contrarian with a dash of experience hijacking. There should be a word for that though. Any ideas?
“Actshuuuaallyy…”
I think what you are describing is either egocentric bias or experiential bias.
“ Egocentric bias is the tendency to rely too heavily on one’s own perspective and/or have a higher opinion of oneself than reality. It appears to be the result of the psychological need to satisfy one’s ego “
Thanks, this sounds like the most accurate and precise answer to the question.
Yeah, the method used sounds like some sort of selection bias (cherry-picking or whatever you want to call it), but the motivation behind it (as there is a definite intent here to steer the discussion) is likely egocentric or just a general need to be contrarian or condescending.
Confirmation bias.
Look, I don’t know what made-up arguments you’ve been in, but whenever I post online, no one has ever tried to dismiss my experiences as untrue.
/s
The Linux Argument.
Non-jokes aside, there are multiple names for this. Anecdotal evidence is the primary one while confirmation bias is discarding statements (factual or fictional) that do not align with your vision.
As someone with personal experience with interacting with people, I have to disagree. Nobody has EVER done anything like this, and it does not require a word.
Conservative/ reactionary.
No seriously. Take the time to look at the structure and framing of conservative and reactionary arguments. Its almost ALWAYS rooted in strictly their lived experience: no other lived experience matters. The answers others are giving are technically correct, but also miss how deeply rooted this particular structure is in political identity.
Opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one
