Because most countries have been patriarchal for most of human history. Old habits die hard.

This isn’t a thing in India unless there is a ‘value’ in the surname.

I’m a fan of the hyphen strategy. I really don’t wanna change my last name just cause I fell in love. But hyphenation sounds like a good compromise.

I went from a “normal” western last name that was ethnically coded (like McCoy) to another ethnically coded name (like Nguyen, or - um - Fink).

My options were to keep a common and dull name that I share with people I don’t like, get a new one (that I’d need to spell to every customer service representative ever), hyphenate (HELL NO), or make up something new (which would involve a shitstorm among relatives on both sides.)

The only real options were A and B. I was undecided until we were leaving the county courthouse after we were married. He asked me “are you going to change your name?” He didn’t care. He thought it was a weird custom and was curious. And I realized - this is an opportunity. It’s a relatively easy and socially acceptable way to shed your old name.

I took it.

The new name honestly messes with quite a few people who are meeting me for the first time, and it’s interesting to see how they react. I’ve had people ask straightforward questions (I prefer that - there’s an easy and straightforward answer), get half-way through a straight-up racist comment before they stutter to a stop (helps me get to know them), get all the way through a racist comment (again - helpful to know where you stand), or just not comment at all (just fine by me).

I’ve found that it’s not the worst way to get a read on someone.

tldr: part spite, part novelty, part legitimately helpful when your profession means you need to meet strangers and get a quick read on their personality/potential biases/willingness to be straightforward when there’s no reason to be weird about it

I took my partner’s last name because I like their family more than mine, and I liked the idea of no longer being associated with my family.

But I think most people just want to do what is normal or expected of them, so I would imagine that is why most women change their name. Not doing so would go against the grain, putting them in awkward situations where they have to explain they didn’t take the last name.

My wife didn’t and years down the line she says she wish she had. We have to go through more with medical things and such to show we are related and it was like a simple checkbox for her to do it when we got married but to do it now is a major pain in the ass.

I have a coworker whose maiden name is Dykes. She was very happy to change.

Having the same last name is just an easy way to show togetherness and unity. My wife kept her last name because she earned her MD with it but she’s fine going by Mrs. (my last name) in a parental setting.

Yeah but it’s easy when both parents have the same last name 🪕

I think each woman has her own reasons (some people actually like traditions) but I have the impression that, globally, women are not the same as what we see online. I think today the taking of a surname does not indicate ownership or property, at least to most modern women (and men).

I don’t think any woman thinks like that anymore, or perhaps not many, so the motivations would then also be obviously different.

This conversation is so white and western culture centric. Many cultures have different norms. Centering on this as the normal/accepted route is strange given how international our societies have become.

To all the people here arguing that it’s easier to have a family name, especially with children: It’s also possible that the husband takes the wife’s name. But from anecdotal evidence in my acquaintance, most men are very opposed to this idea. So if the woman wants a family name she has to change her name or have endless fights about it. That’s why most women I know did it.

Well, my last name isn’t my mom’s last name, it’s my dad’s, and her last name was her dad’s, then her husband’s. So why do I care, I don’t get a matrilineal name anyway.

I hyphenated, because we both had kids when we got married, and it made it easier to deal with the school stuff for my stepkids.

Otherwise, I really just don’t care because my family name is my dad’s name and it was only my mom’s name because she changed hers to his. Not that I didn’t care about my dad, was closer to him than my mom. I just mean I don’t feel like it means anything.

It’s pretty helpful for medical emergencies and getting through border police as a family.

I’m actually gonna be taking my girlfriend’s last name. Mine sounds hella stupid and is also slang for an unflattering body part, I got bullied a lot for it growing up so I will spare my children and take her last name cause it sounds super fancy and cool.