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Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn’t present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Friend moved and changed his cell number at same time… I didn’t yet have his email so lost contact.
Found him years later at a random shop, got his new contact info and still besties today :)
Motorcycle at 16.
I don’t think there’s a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don’t know where to start.
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I’m honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn’t visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven’t learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I’m trying to learn.
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD’d in the bathtub. Wasn’t even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife’s baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30’s. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
That’s really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
Good lord what a hand you’ve been dealt. My sympathies.
His girlfriend at that the time said I was handsome causing dude to become incredibly insecure and petty.
He became a Qanon ass licking dumbfuck and a pro Trump cum sandwich.
Also, we are French so his savior isn’t able to place us on a map.
Within reason ofc but I think it’s a valuable thing to have friends with different viewpoints
It is, but not when they try to “educate” everyone around them at every breath they take, every text message and every conversation.
It ended up with everyone saying “dude stop, we don’t care at all” and him apologizing then saying “ok sorry, my mistake, I explained it wrong that’s why you didn’t understand”.
Again and again and again. It is a disease that needs medical treatment (psychiatric, the same as people leaving cults) and the way he described it fits the description. He said that he “fell in it” (tomber dedans in French, as in falling in a pit) by being bored at work and watching too many YouTube videos to pass time.
We tried to help, but after 2 years we were exhausted. Dude doesn’t want to be helped and we are not medical professionals.
Last news was that he now hangs with another former friend from school that also refused to change and get help, the only cocaine addict of our small town. To the village they are known as the crazy guys sitting on a park bench all day and feeding each other craziness. To them they are probably the only two enlightened dudes and everybody else is too dumb and needs to be awoken.
If nothing else, then to have a reference to whom else not to befriend, and to have a known source for all the hottest new nonsense.
Kinda like Urban Dictionary. Lots of degenaratory stuff on there, but at least i got somewhat reliable definitions for all the weird stuff people call me and/or each other.
One where I was dumb was when I sold my then one of best friends a laptop and took his word for him going to pay a week later even though I knew he was a small time grifter. We were tight so I thougt he wouldn’t screw me over but alas, believing in people is dumb.
The second was an online friend of many years and good emotional support one way and the other, but then out of the blue the dude starts spewing hate and straight up tells me he’s a nazi. Fuck that guy. Well fuck the first guy too, but at least I knew the devil back then.
I bought tickets for a concert for us both provided she drive. She never showed up and didn’t answer her phone or anything but was somehow mad at me a few days later.
Dude became an outspoken anti vaxxer, tin foil hat wearing plandemic twat.
The final nail was when he shows up at our business out of the blue one day (literally had not spoken with him in almost a year) where he had left some oil paintings & other artwork to pick them up, then sent a shitty passive aggressive text the next day about how they were not kept in perfect condition.
My dude, you left them without a word otherwise over 4 years ago, we have shit to do besides take care of discarded art.
Lost all my friends every couple years growing up thanks to the US military moving us around. Do not recommend.
Got a great dad out of the situation though so I’m not bitter. Much.
I’d bet, even if he doesn’t say it, one of your father’s biggest regrets is that you didn’t have a stable location and set of friends. And if it’s not, I’d suggest not bringing it up. Realizing that after all this years could be pretty traumatic.
A mutual friend of ours got into an argument with him because he made some new friends at his local pub and was buying pints for them left, right and centre. He took serious offence to the suggestion that they were using him for his money (he got about £120k in inheritance after his mum died) and cut both of us off, even though I never said anything to him.
I don’t want to elaborate on his backstory but he had a lot of mental health problems and past trauma. After a lot of bad things happened a few years ago, he decided that he was done with life and vowed not to outlive his cats. Have tried to talk him out of it but he’s set on ending his own life after his cats pass away.
I presume he’s still alive, but I can’t get in touch with him as he nuked his phone number and blocked me on all socials.
I canceled on the biweekly DnD session because it was scheduled for Halloween and I had plans. Told him a little last minute (day before when I realized).
Dude torpedoed our 10 year friendship over that.
Was that this year? Halloween wasn’t too long ago, maybe he was in a bad mood/unstable situation. You may recover if he reconsiders, it feels a bit extreme to burn a decade old bridge just because of that
Agree with other responder. End of October was… Stressful. Way more for some than others. This might be one of those situations where trying an “Are you OK?” would be all that’s needed to start mending.
I used to have an online friend who never really texts me first unless I do. Since they’re a leftie, I wished them on Happy Left-handers Day and they replied that I don’t need to wish them, which I only did to spark some conversation. This put me off and I went “Alr I won’t bother texting you ever” and they went “Ok”.
Haven’t texted them in 3 months, neither did they (as they don’t ever). Idk who is the idiot here, me, she or both.
I don’t really like ending friendships from my side, so I might text them on her birthday and see how it goes.
For the whole paragraph the pronoun in use is 'them ’ except for the end, it is ‘she’. Can I assume her sex is female and her gender is something different?
Also you sound like a caring and persistent person. It is valuable to have a friend like this.
