Why doesn’t this exist?
Take dried beans, roast 'em, grind 'em, and brew some bean juice?
I have no idea if it would taste good or not, but we don’t know if we don’t try.
Edit: I need to see what dried beans I have and maybe go shopping. I will give this a try with a couple different types of beans and report back if I fart or not.
Close relatives to strawberries are other similar plants like Sibbaldia. More distantly related are roses and lots of other fruits like raspberries, apples, peaches and so on. Hazelnuts are even more distantly related (not super far, but also not super close). You’re probably thinking of hazelnuts because the small seeds on strawberries are technically nuts.
I stand corrected. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had the idea stored that it is closer to the hazelnut than e.g. apples and peaches. I’ll go and refresh my knowledge at the earliest opportunity.
Nonetheless, it’s not a berry.