Some people only respond to anger. Like, nothing will de-rail their non-sense version of (on-going)events until they are confronted with anger, and then they’ll just … do what the angry person says.
Its common enough that people should be aware of it, and sadly it seems far, far easier to accidentally traumatize/train someone into this patttern than to help them un-learn it.
When correcting error with expressions of anger, it helps to name/define the behavior or idea you wish to condition against, to demonstrate why it hurt you or is otherwise personal, to do so proportionately, then to stop being angry quickly after they apologize/acquiesce.
You didn’t read or understand what I wrote at all, did you? I have no problem communicating calmly even when very upset. The problem is there are a lot of people who will keep fucking up until someone yells at them, and suddenly, now their bullshit has been called out, they can do things the right way for a while with no further prompting or seemingly any extra effort. Shit that doesn’t fly in dangerous environments, for starters.
I get more worked up for having to yell at anyone than I do with whatever the original issue was; Unless lives are in danger: that gets me pretty worked up.
Some people only respond to anger. Like, nothing will de-rail their non-sense version of (on-going)events until they are confronted with anger, and then they’ll just … do what the angry person says.
Its common enough that people should be aware of it, and sadly it seems far, far easier to accidentally traumatize/train someone into this patttern than to help them un-learn it.
When correcting error with expressions of anger, it helps to name/define the behavior or idea you wish to condition against, to demonstrate why it hurt you or is otherwise personal, to do so proportionately, then to stop being angry quickly after they apologize/acquiesce.
You didn’t read or understand what I wrote at all, did you? I have no problem communicating calmly even when very upset. The problem is there are a lot of people who will keep fucking up until someone yells at them, and suddenly, now their bullshit has been called out, they can do things the right way for a while with no further prompting or seemingly any extra effort. Shit that doesn’t fly in dangerous environments, for starters.
I get more worked up for having to yell at anyone than I do with whatever the original issue was; Unless lives are in danger: that gets me pretty worked up.