I was diagnosed in 2019; late in life, mid 30s. One of the biggest issues I’ve been struggling with lately are these huge cyclical mood swings that can last weeks. I’ll be up and active, optimistic, and productive for a week or so, and feel like there’s nothing I can’t do. I’m excited about everything and often make a lot of overly-aggressive plans. Then the wave of depression comes, and I’ll spend a week in bed, crying, and then a week or two basically just disassociating and actively avoiding any responsibilities. The down is always longer than the up, and I feel like I’m slowly losing ground to the depression. I’m not sure if I’ve always had these issues or if they’ve just gotten worse lately. My ability to look into the past, especially in regards to my own emotional state, is limited.
My doc says that “cyclothymia” or mood cycles are not uncommon with ADHD, though they are not technically related I guess. That said, I don’t see too many people talking about it. Anyone else dealing with this sort of thing?
I appreciate this advice, especially talking to the doc. I could probably stand to bring it up again, it’s been a while. My biggest issue for sure is the guilt and frustration that comes with my unpredictable performance, but it’s less an issue of disappointing others and more of an issue of self-worth. I have things I legitimately want to do with my life, and both the skill and the opportunity to do those things. I just… can’t seem to do it. I rationally know why, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.
It’s nice, at least, that it’s something we talk about nowadays.