Broke into some noble’s house to investigate a murder and stole a bunch of stuff while I was at it, ironically yet stealthily stabbing a guard in the neck with a dagger so I wouldn’t get caught while discovering a secret chamber in the basement that led to ancient catacombs beneath the town, which ultimately led to ancient and mummified remains alongside golden chalices and crosses I absolutely pillaged and fully intend to sell for ducats, the significance of which I’m still unsure of.

Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.

Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.

Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.

Beating wild animals into submission, capturing them and putting them to work in a shack I built in the woods.

Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive…

Fuck I love Minecraft!

Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.

Destroying a coal mine with magic

Spreading democracy for the glory of Super Earth!

Fishing

I didn’t realise our poaching laws were that severe

The purgation of xenos scum and heretic filth with extreme prejudice.

Playing poker with a non-standard deck.

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder