I feel sorry for any guy dumb enough to try this. Also my friends mom when i was 13 vacuumed every day and rearranged all furniture and vacuumed behind everything once a week.
Wow what a cycle that must have sucked
Suckers gonna suck
This is like when you teach someone that a swear is a greeting in a foreign language
🖕 peace among worlds!
Yes, please do that. So we are immediately aware that we should get away as fast as possible.
Written by Coolguy Sexhaver.
That sounds like Strong Bad’s alter ego.
The Cheat is vacuuming.
The Cheat is ovulating.
No relation.
Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed
You’re right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.
Can confirm, was stabbed.
Poe’s law
Sounds condescending. Why not just compliment her ovipositor?
Madam, my compliments to your ovaries 🎩💪🏼🥚🙇
My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.
Pretty sure that’s my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.
Why, thank you, I’ve just been to the remora. And might I say what a stable dorsal fin you have.
Oh yeah. Zero chance of back fire. Zero. Had sex all my life - once with a women. Trust me.
once with a women. Trust me.
Stop bragging
Rings true to me. My wife never vacuums and is past menopause.
We all love some good ol’ mansplainimg.
I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! 😍
Vacuuming? Are you ovulating or something?
So you just like to suck then? ;)
That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know anything about women to dispute it.
Not sure if AI or just incredibly stupid.
Pretty sure it’s a joke.
We live in a post irony world and I literally can’t tell the difference without knowing the source.
Why not both?
Of course, I forgot answer C. All of the above.
Lol who wrote this, Ben Shapiro?
It’s typo progressive for him. He’s the “your wife shouldn’t get wet” type.
Dont get her wet, don’t feed her after midnight. Hes very strict about rules for his wife.
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman sexually
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman financially
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman bureaucratically
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman maliciously
- Top 10: Ways to flirt with a woman abstractly
bureaucratically
Please complete forn 69-J (in triplicate) if you’d like to grab dinner.
Sex has to be announced 2 weeks prior using the relevant form.
69-J?
Did you fill out and submit duplicates of your Unsubtle Innuendo Requisition Request Form?
You definitely need to get Permit A 38 first.
You know what, I think I’ll file my taxes instead.
Oh. Can I see the abstractly list?
Sounds fun
Tell her “three yellow squares in a row, and beneath them a big purple circle.” Next thing you know, you’re being passionately shagged.
Shagged or stabbed?
For some, there’s little difference.
I was also curious about the abstractly. Release the list.
I want to know how to maliciously flirt. Hey sexy, want to come to my place and stick your fingers in the power outlet?
Negging, maybe?
“Damn, you vacuum so well… for an ovulating female.”
That kind of thing.
I found this one.
1. Assume interesting shapes
Hard to understand geometry can inspire curiosity. Intrigue her by adding more complexity to your configuration!
2. Playfully interact with her as different people
Hate to break it to you, guys, but not having a personality isn’t going to impress anyone. What will impress a lot of people is having 7, 8 or 9 different personalities that come and go as the mood changes.
3. Get close!
Close bonds often reflect a close geography, so try to be in the same room she’s in as much as possible. If she wanders into the kitchen for a soda, wander in yourself to wash your hands. If she’s talking to a friend in the hallway, talk to a different friend in the same hallway.
4. Be funny
Comedy can be extrapolated from this base formula:
P = ¬P
Such an expression being true would require the dissolution of all fundamental axioms of logic and reason, and is therefore funny. Try explaining this to her.
5. Be mysterious
Nothing is more sexy than a masked man of mystery. Show her how mysterious you are by playing ominous sounds while describing a job you don’t know you have, and people you don’t remember speaking to!
6. Be
The best way to make yourself available to a woman is to have an existential presence in our natural world.
7. Share the things you have in common
Impress her by ovulating with her!
8. Don’t be afraid to be saucy
Demonstrate your wild side by flopping about or rubbing against nearby objects and furniture.
But don’t get carried away. Being too floppy can be off-putting. Try to match her level of floppiness.
9. Gifts make the heart grow fonder
Gifts are a great way to establish a connection and to show how much you care. Try giving her the gift of self-love, or the depth of pure sadness. You could also teach her to be less co-dependent!
10. Try MDMA!
Ecstacy looks really weird in movies. This could be a great way to experience something new together!
You probably saved the whole date/relationship right at the end there.
release the abstractly files
